The Iron Soldier: A FourTris Divergent Story

Chapter 13

AN: Per request, here is the last chapter from the Kisser's perspective. Can't wait to hear what you think. I'm sure you all know who the kisser is, right?

I have voices screaming inside my head. One is telling me to run. Run fast and run far, and don't look back. Nothing good could come of this. But even louder, is another voice telling me this could be my only chance. Just do it, get it out of your system. With one kiss I'll realize this whole thing is ridiculous and I'll never give it another thought.

There is a reason I've closed myself off from other people. I'm not a good friend. I'm not even a good person and I don't want to drag anyone else down with me. That and the fact that I have too many secrets, has always kept me in line. I've been tempted before to make a friend, take a lover for than one night, but a quick evaluation of my past has set me strait before any damage is done.

I mean, I just met her a few days ago, I barely know her. These feelings are nothing more than infatuation. A desire to have something you know you can't. But there lies the problem, because I think maybe I can, and it's so close to real I smell the victory in the air. Victory. Is that what this is about? Is this a competition and she is the prize? I am competing only against myself, my better judgement. So what side is going to win? The rational, realistic side or the emotional, illogical side that could put her in danger?

I should have driven away already, but instead I'm still sitting in my vehicle listening to the motor run. I take another bite from the burger I'm holding. The food turns my stomach. I open the bun and stare at the mess of onions, mustard and catchup mixed into one lumpy concoction. Eating this will make the decision for me. She'll run away screaming from my breath.

I toss the burger back into the bag on the passenger seat before wiping my mouth on one of the many napkins I was given with the messy sandwich. I have a tin of mints in the ash tray, so I toss several in my mouth immediately before turning the rearview mirror to look back at me. Subconsciously, my hands reach for the front of my head as I rake my hair back into place. Why? She won't be able to see me.

With the twist of my wrist, I turn off the motor and pull the key free from the ignition. I'm going to do this. I have to do this. If I don't, I'll never be free of this fantasy relationship that's been playing in my head for the last few days.

Signups for the silent auction are just as private as the experience will be. Each bidder gets a ticket with a seven digit number on it. You sign your number only on the pledge form and drop it in the box. If you are the winner, your number will be called and you report to either the bandstand or the private booth at a designated time.

I quickly jot down the amount of money I'd set aside for the event. I hope this is enough. I scan the table till I find the coffee can with the number four written on it in black marker, then slip my bid through the slot in the plastic cover. The can has several other bids in it already. Now, all I can do it wait.

I stay close to the auction tent. Wandering too far into the festivities might cause me to run into her. I don't want her to know I'm still here. No matter how good or bad this turns out, she can't know it was me. That is assuming I win the auction.

I tell myself over and over that this is for the best. Once it's done, I will have tasted the forbidden fruit and realize it isn't nearly as enticing as I originally thought. Then I can walk away with fewer screaming voices in my head. It will be nice to regain control over my thoughts.

I hate waiting. I'm still holding the pile of napkins from the burger I couldn't eat and I absentmindedly start twisting one into a rose like I used to when I was bored at work. It always brought in extra tips when you serve a customer's order with a paper rose. I smile, thinking about all the beautiful women who have propositioned me over the last few months. Yes, there were fists thrown my way as well, when some of these women turned out not to be single, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.