The Hunger Games: Camden Shepard

Chapter 11

As the hovercraft pried Layla from my arms two objects fell from her hands and clattered to the ground. Once she had been lifted away forever I collapsed into a heap next to the last two things that remained of Layla, a water bottle with an X across it, and the dagger I'd left her to protect herself. She must have been on her way to find me. The medicine must have cured her and when she realized I was gone she must have tried to find me. She must have heard my screams after the anthem and that's when... I turned to Jack. He was still on his knees, his hands over his mouth. He'd killed Layla. He'd nearly killed me. I felt grief turn into anger, then confusion. Why hadn't he killed me? What had happened? Had killing Layla somehow brought him back from whatever madness I'd seen in his eyes? Why had he attacked me in the first place? My mind raced around full of questions mixed with grief. One thought came clearly to the front of my mind and I tried to shut everything else out. We had to get out of here. Someone must have heard us besides Layla. I slowly moved over to Jack, crawling because I couldn't bear to stand, until I was in front of him. Tears were silently streaming down his face, and his face was contorted with horror. I kneeled in front of him and tried to meet his eyes. He averted his gaze and looked down the moment our eyes met. I moved closer until our knees touched and gently pulled his hands away from his mouth. I then began to wipe his eyes. If I couldn't get him to respond, we'd have to fight more tributes tonight and neither of our bodies could handle that.
"Jack," I whispered, "we have to go now. Others will be coming." I knew that I was crying, and I couldn't help it, but I had to get Jack out of there. I couldn't lose him, too. I put my hand on his cheek and leaned forward, kissing his forehead. He buried his face into my shoulder and let out a sob.
"You'll be okay, it'll be okay, but we have to go now." I could feel his body shaking beneath me. He wasn't in a good state to move. I picked up my binoculars and looked around. No one was here yet, but that didn't mean they weren't coming. I looked around on the ground near us, two daggers were scattered next to Jacks spear, my trident was behind me. I slowly leaned away from Jack, who's entire body sagged without me holding him, and began to collect our weapons. If I could just get him into the building we were in front of we would be safer. I placed the daggers in my backpack and handed Jack his spear.
"Come on, Jack, just to that building." I pointed with my trident and then stood. It was as if something in me snapped, as if standing made me more emotional. Tears poured from my eyes and my entire heart felt as it might break in half. I clutched at my stomach and doubled over. Layla was gone. I heard footsteps on the road next to ours and slowly began to make my way to the building, calling to Jack as I stumbled forward. Just as I walked through the front door I heard the footsteps come around onto my street. I turned to see if Jack had followed and ran straight into him. He was inside the doorway just behind me. Relief rushed through my veins. He was silent and gentle as he grabbed my shoulders and moved us out of the doorway. He held me close against him as we waiting in silence for the footsteps and voices outside to pass. I could feel his tears land on my shoulders and I knew he could feel my tears landing on his arm, but these were the Games, we'd both known Layla didn't have a chance at winning, but that didn't make it hurt any less.
After nearly an hour of standing silently against the wall we decided the other tributes had moved on. I'd forgotten to get Layla's water bottle, and I'd heard two girls discussing it. Jack and I were too sore to and worn out to fight either of them off, let alone both, so we stayed silent but ready, waiting for them to leave. Once we could no longer hear their voices or footsteps Jack and I began to move upstairs. We only got to the third floor before we were too exhausted to continue. I let Jack sleep first, since he'd been on his own and was the most beaten down. I cradled his head in my lap and ran my fingers through his hair until he fell asleep, something that Charlie had done for me after my parents died, it was the only way I knew to comfort people. My mind swirled with exhaustion and hurt and confusion. Jack had killed Layla. Layla was gone. And now he was asleep on my lap. I missed Layla. I was heartbroken over her death and heartbroken that Jack had been the one to kill her. What had been that look in his eyes? I'd seen it with Daryl and Jack now, but what was causing it? I looked down to Jacks peaceful face, watched as his eyes twitched in his dreams. What would happen when I was asleep and it was his turn to be on watch. Could I trust him? Or would he try to kill me again? What had caused him to lose it? My head was pounding from the injuries to my skull where Jack had smashed me against the concrete. I ran my hand along the back of my head, my hair was matted with blood, from where the skin had split. My shoulder and consequently my shirt and jacket all had a cut. Fabric from my shirt had embedded itself in my cut, not that I could clean it out because the water was poisoned.
The water. It suddenly hit me. Maybe the water didn't just make you sick, maybe it affected everyone differently, maybe it was infecting Jack, making him irrational, making him lose control of himself. It had made me sick, it poisoned Layla and put her in a coma, maybe it was affecting Jacks mind. It could be anything, these Games were unlike any other, it wasn't hard to believe that the Gamemakers would use the water to drive us into a frenzy. It wasn't Jacks fault, the water must have poisoned him. But that didn't mean I could trust him. I looked back down to Jacks face. His eyes were open and clear. And sad. He met my gaze and then looked away.
"My watch." He said, leaning up. I moved my arm to let him sit. He turned away from me, ran a hand through his hair, and stood.
"Jack." I said slowly. He didn't turn around. "Jack, it isn't your fault. The Gamemakers did something to the water, it must have poisoned you too." Jack turned around.
"I killed her, Cam, I killed Layla. I couldn't even help it, and it's my fault."
"What happened, Jack?" I asked softly. He shook his head.
"I lost control. There was nothing I could do to make myself stop. I was fighting you, watching myself fight you from somewhere in the back of my mind, but I couldn't stop. I watched myself hurt you. There was a moment when you had me on the ground that I thought I could make myself stop, and then I tripped you. My body was moving without me controlling it, and then Layla..." Jack trailed off. "I'm so sorry, Cam."
I looked over Jacks face, his quivering lips, his terrified eyes, his hunched shoulders. He looked so tired even after sleeping through most of the night. He was losing himself to the Games. Even if Jack lived through it, he wouldn't be Jack anymore.
"It's not your fault." I whispered. Jack shook his head, picked up his spear and walked out of the room we'd been sleeping in. I heard him slide down the wall just outside the door to take up his watch. I lay down on the dirty ground of the building, closed my eyes, and waited for sleep to take me.