Demon and Paladin: Human

Chapter 7. In the Dark

Felix fixed the doors--somewhat. He managed to set the unscathed one back in all but the topmost hinge. Too hesitant to swing it shut, he just left it hanging open. The other door, having been split into three pieces--Master Rose's bedroom door--was much worse for wear. Even after binding the chunks with tape, it was bent at a strange angle and threatened to collapse over anyone who drew too near. Luckily his Master seemed to accept this, as Felix wasn't ordered to do the promised thousand push--ups that morning. He spent the coming day training as usual; the obstacle course, the weapons, the physical discipline, the poorly prepared meals.

"Chicken sandwich. With veggies."

Master Rose didn't complain as she usually did. Maybe it was because she felt like being kinder to him, today. Or maybe it was simply because sandwiches were nearly impossible to ruin. Felix ate slowly.

How can Void blow off doors...with a single punch? And not me? Felix stared into the palm of his cursed hand. He didn't bother wearing the bandages, today. Was he more comfortable with his arm? This is mine, too...so I should be able to do the same thing. Shouldn't I? Is...there something about him, about all of this, that I don't know?

Master Rose pounded her fist against the table. Her knuckles stopped inches short of Felix's plate. The dishes rattled. Aarwing squeaked in panic, dropped his chewed lettuce, and zipped out of sight.

Felix stiffened like a pencil. "M--Master?!"

"What were you thinking about?" She took another bite of her sandwich. She was almost done.

"...Nothing, Master."

Master Rose was neither satisfied nor amused. "Felix. Tell me now." Her eyes met his.

"Um...It's just...I'm thinking about..." He shut his eyes. He supposed it couldn't be avoided. "Master Rose, I was...wondering about what kind of demon Void is."

Master Rose's frown deepened. "A stupid one. So?"

Felix's gaze shifted. "Th--that's not what I mean. There are different kinds of demons, right? Each one with different traits. I was...I was just wondering what kind Void is." Felix was half human, three parts Ejriadan and one part Tenteran, and half demon something. What was that something?

Master Rose's eyes narrowed. "What does it matter to you? You're trying to get rid of him, aren't you?"

"Y--yes, but I think it'd be helpful if I understood more about--"

"Listen, Felix." Master Rose's next words were firmer--louder. "Just stop. There's no point. You won't gain anything from learning about him, because he'll be gone before it matters. It won't help you."

Felix didn't usually push things against his Master, but for some reason he found his lips tugging into a frown. "But, you keep trying to make me stronger. D--don't you think if I understood Void, I could be stronger against him? I'd understand why he's the way he is." Felix knew he should stop, but a defiant energy overcame him. "I could fight other demons. I could protect people from demons, just like you. M--maybe I'd even be able to convince Void to--!"

Master Rose slapped him.

"Shut your fucking mouth. Have you forgotten how you looked when I found you?!"

Felix fell out of his chair. His hand hovered over his cheek; even without making contact, he could feel the heat radiating.

Master Rose sighed. "Just...stay away from it."

Felix stared into nothing. He nodded numbly, but he wasn't sure if he meant it.

"Finish your dinner," She then ordered, in a quieter voice.

They completed it in silence. Once Felix finished, Master Rose passed him her plate to clean and said, "I'll be gone tomorrow for something. I'll be back by the day after in the morning. While I'm gone, I need to you fix the house up and get groceries listed on the note I leave you. And then you come straight back here. Straight back--meaning no sidetracking. Understand?"

Felix's head was down. "Yes, Master..."

"Good."

By the time Felix entered his bedroom, Aarwing had already made a fluffy maze in the folds of the blankets. The winged ferret was ready for bed, ready to forget the incidents of that day. Felix wasn't. His cheek was still warm--still stinging faintly. If Aarwing hadn't cooed for attention from his half--buried position, he didn't know how long he would've stood blankly in the doorway. Gently, he lowered himself to the edge of the bed. His right hand was closest to Aarwing, but he crossed his left arm over to rub behind Aarwing's ear instead. It was awkward at best, but he didn't care. The cursed hand was more Void's than his own. What if the sharp nails pricked Aarwing's ear? He experienced almost no sensations from the rock--hard arm--what if he pet Aarwing too hard without realizing, and left bruises? The fears always made Felix too nervous--too afraid--to touch anyone with it. It was like the limb was diseased.

I want to be normal again, Felix resolved. Master Rose was here to help with this. She had to know better than him. After all, she was a paladin, which meant she was a demon slayer. This meant she had to know how to slay the demon that was Void without killing the human that was Felix, right?

Felix chuckled to himself. He remembered having that hope six months ago, when she found him in the autumn gloom. And yet in spite of the training, in spite of the chores, in spite of all that time, the only thing Felix knew how to do was how to summon a glowing butter knife. The butter knife was not going to stop Void.

He was always too scared to speak with Void directly. It was true that for now, they shared a mind and body. It was also true that Felix could neither run nor hide from him. Void was usually silent, but that didn't mean he couldn't hear Felix's thoughts, or share his memories. The reverse was also true--except the memories of Void's past as a full demon were missing. Blank. Would it be bad if Void learned what kind of demon he used to be? Master Rose knew best, right?

Still, even if this demon half was temporary, Felix felt a strange emptiness low in his chest.

Void...Felix pursed his lips. How did you punch those doors down?

No response.

D--did you just punch them, or did you do something special? C--can you tell me what that is?

Nothing. Aarwing was purring in content, oblivious.

Felix made a fist with his right hand, and raised it up to eye--level. Void! Listen to me!

There was nothing--then in a swift overtaking, Felix's head was filled with hideous laughter--Void's laughter.

Felix clapped his hands against his ears and jolted off the bed--as if that would do anything. 

S--stop! Stop, please! As if that would do anything, either.

After what felt like hours, Void's laughter died away into that same, eerie silence. Only then did Felix realize his sudden jump had awoken Aarwing, too. The ferret's back was arched, paws digging into the sheets, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, Aarwing. It's nothing." Aarwing did not look like he had been gently roused from sleep. He looked like he had just seen a demon. Felix hung his head, and reached to stroke Aarwing again. "G--go back to sleep. It's okay."

As Aarwing was slowly lulled back into a sleep now bereft of purrs, Felix slipped into the sheets himself. Clearly, asking Void for how he did things was no good. Asking Master Rose about demons wasn't going to help, either. So he had to find out on his own. Tomorrow, he told himself. I'll show Master Rose that I shouldn't be kept in the dark.