She's Gone

I Don't Deserve This

-Two weeks later-
I was at school and miserable, but my friends got me to get up and go to different homerooms so I did. In the Chinese homeroom, I overheard Chris talking to his friends.
"Yea, there's this whole benefit at RiverWorks and Caz is running it," he said.
"But why?" Marc asked.
"It's to raise money to help find a way to pull Kate out of the coma, her team can't do without her. The game she got hurt was their last game in their league before states and her team needs her if they have a prayer to not come in last. It's weird to see her team on the ice, all listening and none of them cracking a joke. They're all dead silent and serious. If you've ever seen her team with her there, all they do is joke around so much that their coach blows a fuse. It's weird to walk into Caz and not hear Kate and her teammate causing havoc. They're always there, they're always causing hell. It just feels wrong, like school does without her."
"So you miss the girl you're in love with. Got it."
"And my team is playing a benefit game against the Junior Sabres-"
"Wait, didn't Kate punch one of them in the face?" Mike asked.
"Well, yea, but still."
"I'm pretty sure she tried to kill him..."
"It's not important, my team is playing a benefit game, there's going to be raffles, and food, and things to buy."
I started walking out.
"Thomas, did you hear that?" Jack asked me. "About the fundraiser."
"Yea, I'm going and so is one of my teammates."
"Why is he going?"
"He used to go to school with Kate, and I expect to see you at the fundraiser."
"Why would I go? I hate Kate."
"Because she's my best friend and this would mean the world to me."
I spent the day waiting for after school for the fundraiser, it turned out that many of her teachers that she didn't hate were going to show up. I talked her social studies teacher from this year and last year from going because she really hates them.
~later~
"Thomas, I'll pick you up in two hours," my mom said as she drove off.
I walked towards the entrance of the out door rink with a roof but no walls. I saw a group of girl with plastic bags full of rubber bracelets in red and black.
"Would you like to buy a bracket to help raise money to wake up Kate?" asked a girl who's jacket read Kayla.
"They're only a dollar," said a short girl with the name Alexa on her jacket.
"Sure," I said as I have hem a five. "Just keep the change." I put my bracket on. "Are you Kate's defensive partner?" I asked Kayla.
"Yea. Why?" she responded.
"Cause Kate's my best friend, and she thinks you're never given enough credit for what you do. She thinks you're a better player than he coaches tell you that you are."
"Thanks."
I walked up towards a table where I supposed to pay my to get in, and I wore my Bisons jacket which got me some strange looks.
"How many people?" a woman asked.
"Just one."
"That'll be $3."
I paid and started looking for my teammates and friends. I saw Chris talking to a guy that was next to Kate's friend, Molly, that I met once and saw Kate walking with a few times.
I saw Molly start walking over towards me.
"Molly! Where are you going?" asked the guy that was next to her. He was wearing a Junior Sabres jacket.
"To talk to Kate's friend, Matthew. Unlike you, I actually knew her instead of being a total ducking creep and stalking her."
"Not my fault she wouldn't talk to me," Matthew muttered.
"Yes. It is. You were a dick to her and Nonny got mad at you and Kate kicked your ass, now stop it."
Molly got to me and said, "Hi, you're Thomas right? I'm Molly, Kate's friend and I ship you guys so much. Not as much as I ship her with Chris but I still ship it."
"Um, uh okay," I said awkwardly.
"You said it was weird that Nonny wanted me to go out with Kate," Matt said to Molly.
"It is weird because she's my best friend and you're my damn cousin. Also because I want her to marry Chris, who you will be friends with when he's in your class next year."
"No, I won't. I'm pretty sure your friend would kill me, and she may be smaller than me but she's fucking terrifying."
"Yes you will, or you'll deal with my fury, Nonny's, and your mom's."
"I'm pretty sure Kate's is scary, I've played modified hockey against her and damn she can hit."
"She half asses it in modified."
"She can hit harder than that?! FUCK! This world is fucked."
"Kate's not that bad, if she doesn't hate you," I said. "She hasn't threatened to kill me or hit me in hockey or gym, and I know she enjoys beating the shit out of people she hates in hockey, like Chris over there. She's really not as bad as he makes her out to be."
"He said she's a psychotic bitch that doesn't stop swearing."
"Okay, that's very true but she's so much more than that. She's amazing."
"For what she looks like?"
"For what she is. It's not how she acts, how she speaks, or how she looks, it's just the way she exists her way. There's something enchanting about it. Something about her eyes casts a spell over you and her laugh is like a cocaine. There's just something about her that I have no clue how to explain. There's just something magical about her."
"I've met her," Matt said. "I tried to get her to go out with me, she wouldn't even give me her number."
"Yea... She'll be stubborn like that, at least she didn't hit you."
"She made my nose bled when she roundhouse kicked me in the face."
"It could've been worse..."
"How?"
"She could've beaten you down."
"Have you seen her do that before?"
"Yes, I didn't junk she could someone down three times her size."
"When the fuck was this!?"
"Like four years ago."
"Well-" Matt started as his teammate started dragging him to the locker room.
Half an hour later, the game was about to start so I went onto the balcony area to watch the game and about five minutes in there was a huge burst of people talking.
I went down the stairs to see what was going on and I couldn't see, so I listened to what thy were saying.
"I can't believe it.."
"Well, I'll be damned."
"I didn't think she was going to wake up, much less come to this.."
Is it Kate? Is really her? Did she snap out of the coma? Is it really her?
The hockey game stopped, and the players were crowding near their bench, with most on the bench because their coaches wouldn't let them leave and the others right by the bench on the ice.
I saw a glimpse of red hair fading into a pale blue, and saw a red jacket. I caught a glimpse of the girl pulling red hood up. It was Kate.
"What the fuck!?" she screamed. "Back the fuck up! I didn't wake up and come here to be surrounded by a bunch of random fucking strangers!"
Yep. That's Kate.
"God damn it, I just wanted to surprise my team and not make a huge commotion..." Kate said.
"Katie!?" cried a girl with purple hair and a girl with long brown hair.
"GOAT MILK!! Z!!!" Kate yelled as they tackled her.
When she was done being jumped on by her teammates, I said "Kate? It's me. Thomas."
"Um who?" she asked confused.
"Your best friend, I'm on your bus. I'm in your gym class, your music class, I'm in your social studies class."
"Not ringing a bell."
"You come into my homeroom every day to talk to my teacher every morning because he's your favorite."
"You're in Daity's homeroom?" she asked surprised.
"You remembered Daity but not me?"
"I don't know who you are, I'm sorry," she said walking away.
Chris dropped his gloves and stick on his bench and pulled his helmet off while I was talking to Kate and as soon as she turned around he walked up to her.
"Kate, do you remember me?" he asked with sorrow in his voice.
"Chris Heitzhaus, right?" she said as a smile grew across her face.
"How much do you remember about me?" Chris asked sounding slightly concerned.
"I remember you sit next to Alex in Mueckl's class and that you were in my gym class last year. I also remember your in the Chinese homeroom."
"No, I mean about me. As a person."
"I don't remember much about you as a person, I remember you tried acted kinda weird or like a total jerk to me but that's about it. I remember you play hockey for Caz and for our school team but not much else."
"But do you remember how you felt about me?" He asked as he leaned in towards her a bit.
"What-" Kate started as Chris cut her off by pressing his lips against hers.
"Now what do you remember?"
"I remember you tried to kiss me twice, I remember you tried to put your arm around me countless times, I remember catching you staring at me all of the time."
"Do you remember how you felt?"
"I don't know what I felt before, but-" Kate cut herself off by pulling Chris and kissing him back. "I think that answers that question. Now go play one hell of a game," she told him.
I watched her, and I was in shock. I never thought she'd forget me, and everything we almost were, but I guess I was wrong. It hurt so fucking much.
"Kate, you said you don't remember me but please look me into my eyes and tell me you honestly don't remember your best friend. I was the person you vented to about your shitty coach before you changed teams mid season, I was the comforting voice to you when you told me all about your fears about Caz not taking you after you left your old team. And I was the one who offered for you to join my team. I was the one who always tried to make laugh whenever you were down, or tried to get you to smile or talk or something whenever you were quiet. I was the one who was always more than happy to try your baked goods, and damn you could bake. I was the one who always told you what was on the French test and tried to help you study during lunch. Im the one who warned you when we had a sub in French. I was he one who made you a tin foil rose of the bus and tried to give it to you before Lucy kicked it out of my hand and I lost it. I was the one who spent three fucking hours making you the perfect paper crane. Do you honestly not remember me?"
"That wasn't you, that was Chris. I don't know who you are. I live in Parkside and Chris lives two blocks away from me."
"No, Chris lives in South Buffalo. I live two blocks away from you, and how the hell would I know what I told you if it was Chris and not me. You hate Chris; or at least you used to before the coma. How can you not remember me?" I said as my voice cracked with pain.
"I-I don't know what's what then," she said with a frightened expression on her face. "The only thing I can really know is that Chris loves me and I love him."
"What? Why? You always hated him. You told me about how much of an asshole he was. He shit talked you to everyone, even to your best friend; he texted your goalie to get you to hate him less. He stares at you during science lecture, last year in your gym class he always tried to piss you off and aim for you. He used to be a major asshole to the people you're friends with now before you came to the school. You hate Chris. You've never liked him."
"But he was the only one that was there when I woke up, clearly he cares about me and I don't remember hating him, so it's not relevant now."
Kate walked away from me and I just went home.