Shadow Girl

Chapter Four

I woke up just before dawn at five o'clock like usual and brushed on light brown and gold eye shadow and a very light pink blush. I had a layer of concealer and lengthening mascara. I looked in the mirror of my bathroom. "I might say I look half-descent." I shook my head at the term I had just made up for myself.

I brought a Nature Valley bar to the rock. Shadow was already there. "Good morning."

Shadow stretched her lips as if she were smiling, and barked softly.

I heard the bus drive by. "Wait, why is it here so early? Shoot, I have to go!" I ran back to my house, but the bus was already gone. I grunted and went inside to get Mom.

I told her what happened. "Oh, I'll have to drive you to school then," she sighed.

We jumped in the white SUV and got to school as fast as we could. I walked inside the school, hoping that I wasn't late for class. Slowly, I stepped into the science classroom and slid into my seat next to Alisha. The bell rang just after that. Just in time.

"Hello again," Alisha smiled when she saw me.

I tried to smile back, but today, I couldn't even put a believable mask on my face. I wanted to tell her about my dad, but no words came out. Besides, I just met her, and I didn't know how to 'trust'. 

"Is something wrong?" her smile dimmed.

"No." I choked out.

"You know I don't believe that," she shook her head, as she always did in the couple of days that I'd known her. "Can you tell me what's going on, please? Maybe I can help."

"At recess," I decided.

After thinking to herself for a moment, she finally nodded. 

Later in Language Arts, we wrote in our journals and listened to music. I love tuning the world out and hearing music. I played the Fall Out Boy radio I had created a year ago on Pandora.

I started this year at my new school off badly. It seemed that everything just...fell apart, but it was as expected. My newest endeavors in school haven't worked out so well for me yet. I also just lost my dad and I missed the bus this morning. Thank God--well, thank someone that I have my wolf, Shadow to turn to...I kept writing. 

I was sad just looking back at what I'd written in my journal. I didn't want to accept that Dad was gone. But it was hopeless, I'd have to accept it. I took a few deep breaths and turned my music up louder, but not loud enough for others to be able to hear. I enjoyed the distraction and hummed the song quietly.

Later I put on my gray jacket for recess and searched for Alisha and Katy, who I'd promised I'd tell what was going on.

"So, go ahead," Katy urged slowly when I found them by a tree.

"Well..." I took a breath in. "My dad was in a car crash yesterday...and...he...died," I said finally and bit my lip to stay calm. I was not going to cry.

Katy and Alisha sat there, not sure what to say.

Alisha got up and hugged me. I let a single tear out of my eyes, but I stopped after that.

Katy joined in with the hug while I stood I the middle. We stopped hugging and the whistle was blown for us to line up for lunch. I sat down with my tray at an empty table. Alisha and Katy sat on either side of me. I ate the cheese pizza I had been given and looked for something to say to them.

"So..." Alisha broke the silence. "What's your favorite subject?"

"Science." I replied.

"Mine, too," Alisha smiled.

For the rest of lunch I was in space, thinking to myself.

I found myself in my bed that evening, ready to sleep, to let all of my worries disappear in my dream escape. Dreams were paradise, even nightmares, to me because they were something other than reality.