Shadow Girl

Chapter Fifteen

~Trigger warning~

I sat motionless on my bed, staring at the drawer in my dresser where I had hidden the blades days ago. My head ached and I strained to stop crying. Calm down...breath...I told myself, but it wasn't working. I pulled open the drawer and saw the blades like shining knives that I could see my own tiny reflection in. Without further thinking I grabbed a blade and sat on my bed again. I cut a short series of lines on the underside of my wrist, the sight of scarlet red disturbed me, but it was satisfying. I felt strange relief wash over me as I cut more. Finally I stopped, and my cuts that would soon turn to scars stung. It was a weird feeling. It did hurt, but my skin felt like rubber, and the pain vanished not long after. I felt better, and soon the world became black. 

"Shadow!" I called as I entered the leaf-covered forest floor. I heard howling from wolves in the forest. I had known before that Shadow and Scar were not the only wolves living in the woods, but I hadn't actually seen any others. Now I spotted many pairs of blue, brown, and yellow eyes through the depths of the forest. The world around me seemed to spin, I had not gained control of my emotions, yet. 

Two piercing blue eyes seemed to get bigger, and soon I made out a white wolf's coat as it approached. Its eyes were unreadable. Blank. It did not bare its teeth, nor growl. I saw red liquid streaming from its left foreleg. I looked around me and realized all of the wolves had advanced with the same emotionless faces. They all were wounded. I heard a voice and turned to see Shadow's familiar face. But she was...talking to me? 

"Alex, are you okay? You looked distressed," said the wolf. 

"Y-yeah...sure, I'm fine...Are you okay?" I asked, examining her wound. 

"Yes, just a few scratches is all."

"What happened?" 

"Scar formed a pack within our united one and we split up. Then Scar ordered his pack to attack us. The pack's alpha that I'm in is named Crow. He is dark-coated like me, but also has dark eyes," she replied.

"Scar? He is dead!"

Shadow shook her head, "That's what we all thought. Then he came back out of no where, and he wasn't alone, he had made allies with members of the pack and they made him the leader."

I gasped, "Where are they now?" 

"We don't know. They left after the attack to look for space for a new pack territory."

"Oh. Well is everyone okay?"

"All except Crow. He was brutally killed in an act to protect his Pack. Other than that, the we are safe. A new leader will be chosen shortly."

"Oh, my condolences," I said solemnly. "But I'm glad to hear that the rest of you are safe."

A thick, menacing darkness rolled over the forest like dark clouds. I couldn't see the wolves anymore, let alone my hand in front of my face. It soon became hard to breath. I choked and coughed, gasping for air. Then the image of endless darkness faded away. 

I sat up in my bed, startled by my dream. It had seemed too real, perhaps even more real than reality. I looked at my wrist. The same dark red, even scars had still been there. I wished I could forget them, that I could erase them, but they were there. They reminded me of the feelings of stress, anger, sadness...

The door to my room opened. "Alex, are you all right, honey? I heard you talking in your sleep," Mom entered my bedroom. 

"Yes, I'm okay. Just a weird dream," I answered, hiding my wrist so she didn't see the cuts. 

"Are you sure?" she seemed unconvinced.

I nodded, but I couldn't help but wonder about Scar's reappearance in my dream. Could he be alive? No, that's impossible. 

"All right," Mom accepted reluctantly. 

I changed into jeans and a blue shirt with long sleeves and my usual black-and-white Converse. My makeup couldn't have looked worse in my opinion. Why was it so hard for me to look even partially decent? I sighed and rushed through eating a chocolate chip waffle to go find Shadow again before school. 

Shadow tried to lick my scars when she came back from hunting but I pulled away, telling her my wrist was fine. Shadow had dropped a raven at my feet, her catch. "Nice one," I looked at the raven. I rolled my sleeve back down to hide the cuts again. "Okay, I'm going to try to explain myself..." 

Shadow watched me expectantly. 

"Well, I had so many feelings clouding my vision last night. I was just so stressed out and upset...I...it's hard to explain. Jessica isn't all what she seems. She's a liar and a jerk. She spreads rumors and steals people's friends. I despise her more than much as she despises, me," my eyes blazed with anger. "I don't even know her, and she made lies about me taking friends away from her when we were younger."  

Shadow climbed onto the rock and lay her head next to me, her soft coat a comforting warmth. After a few moments I had to leave for the bus. "Bye, Shadow."

The bus ride was quiet as I stared out the window in the back seat. I guess all I have now is Katy. Alisha doesn't seem likely to forgive us...for doing nothing, any time soon, I thought.