Psycho(logy) *under construction*

2. I'm Sorry

Half an hour had passed and Harry still hadn't called. I was reluctant to go outside and face Brit. After I had finished packing my belongings, I huddled on the floor with a blanket lulling over everything that had happened over the past hour or so.

To think, this morning I had woken up and expected to spend a lazy day at home. Now, I didn't even have a home. I sighed and stared down my phone, daring it to ring and to my surprise... it didn't. Why was it taking so long? I'm pretty sure he wasn't still on the phone with his mom. Harry was never a phone person; if someone called him he would have them off the phone in a matter of 3 minutes.

I smiled to myself as I remembered how awkward Harry would be if the conversation was longer than those 3 minutes. He wouldn't know what to say and would just stay silent until the other person spoke and even then he would respond with short comments.

♫OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you. But you're an animal, baby, it's in your nature...♫

A ringing phone interrupted my thoughts. I looked at it and noticed that it was an unknown number. I was about to ignore it when I realized that this must be Harry. My heart beat quickened as I picked up.

"Hello." I squeaked into the phone.

I deep voice spoke on the other line. "Charlie?" I narrowed my eyes. He knew I hated being called that!

"Hair Style?" I smirked.

"Ah, it is you Charlotte. Same old faux sass I see." He chuckled in his slow drawl. Some things never change.

"It is not faux, I'll have you know that I do have sass! And quite a bit of it. I have been saving it up for you all these years."

"I'm touched that you've still thought of me even after all these years. So what? I'll have to deal with 4 years of pent-up sass?"

"Yes, yes you will. Can you handle it?"

"Bring it on, Charlie."

I rolled my eyes. "Look at you, talking on the phone like a normal human being!"

"Haha, very funny. I'm still not a, what do you call it, 'phone person'. But I haven't spoken to you in 4 years Char. I- I, uh, missed you." I grinned and my heart swelled with joy, he missed me...

"I missed you too Harry... a lot."

There was a brief pause before he cleared his throat. "So, my mom told me what happened. I'm so sorry about your dad, Char. If I'd known I would have called but I was-" I interrupted him abruptly and spoke flatly "It's okay Harry, with your popstar life I wouldn't expect you to think about commoners like me. After all, with all those hotsy-totsy models to keep you occupied, why would you even need to think about little plain ol' me?" I don't know where that came from but it was a pleasant change from just crying like the defenseless little girl I was.

It was strange how our conversation had escalated so quickly. It had turned into an emotional breakdown from the little silly banter that we started with. Usually it was so carefree and laid back. However, I know things have changed between us. It isn't the same relationship we had in 2009. No, now it was different. He didn't care for me anymore. We were no longer as close as we used to be. Perhaps, we never will be again.

I admit, I was a little spiteful but he hadn't even tried to contact me when my dad had died. I had called Anne to tell her and she said she would call Harry to let him know. When she had called again to check up on my mom and me, she told us that she had tried to call him but he was busy and rushed her off the phone before she could even get a word in edge wise. It hurt. It hurt that when I needed him the most he wasn't there for me. I was so stupid! To think, we once were so close, so happy, so in love.

I should have known, the boy that I knew back in Holmes Chapel couldn't go a day without seeing his Char, the boy that I knew would have never hurt me the way Harry did, the boy that I knew would be right by my side if he ever saw me in tears, he would give anything to see me smile.

"Char please listen to me, I'm sorry, okay, I am so sorry. My mom told me she tried to call me about the news but I was about to perform so I couldn't talk. Afterwards I had gotten so drunk that I had forgotten she had even called. I know that isn't even a proper excuse and there should be no excuse at all for what I did but I want you to know that I felt like an asshole after she told me. I felt like a complete and utter jerk for not being there for you and your mother."

I cried for the second time tonight, but this time it felt different. I felt stronger, and confident as I spoke. "What about me Harry, what about how I felt! I felt so broken, so alone; my mom wouldn't talk to me at all. Never mind comfort me. She would just lie in bed and cry all day. I had to be strong for her Harry, but no one was there to be strong for me..." my voice broke but I continued talking "... I had to be strong for the both of us Harry! I cried myself to sleep every night because that was the only time that I could. Every single fucking day I had to act like I was okay, I had to put on a fake smile so many times it was as if it had become a part of my identity. But, you know what Harry, all of that wouldn't have felt as bad as it did if you had called. If I could have heard your voice even once comforting me, even saying a simple 'it's gonna be okay', it wouldn't have been as bad. But you didn't! So, for those three months I had to go through hell and back!"

I was left breathless and panting for air. All the anger and frustration I had felt left, attached to my words.

"I'm sorry Buttercup."

I gasped and my phone fell to the ground.

Standing at the door was what was left of the boy that I once knew.

This chapter is dedicated to williamtommolouis because she was the first one to comment on this story and I love her so so so much. Thank you! :) You made me and my editor's day!

Thank you all who read, ilysm :)

Comment, vote, and fan! :) it means a lot to me

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