Basorexia: A Jacob Sartorius Fanfic #Wattys2017

Post-Phone Call Depression

     I repeatedly smashed my head against the wall.
"WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY AM I SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD!?" I cry. Tears start pouring out of my eye and I sob uncontrollably. My stomach roars angrily, begging for some food, so I step away from the wall and meditate for a few minutes. Feeling even more nauseous, and now have a migraine, I decide to take a rest and cry myself to sleep, but I pretty much do that every night anyway.
     After a refreshing 3 hour nap, I STILL felt horrible. I trudged to the bathroom, and I rubbed my puffy, still tear filled eyes and grab my razors and start slicing. I can't believe I was a month clean at one point, this just feels so refreshing. As soon as that cold, shiny, and sharp metal touched my warm skin, I was home. The feeling of my flesh being separated was mouth watering. I felt immune to the pain, now this was just a harmless hobby, right?
     I decided to try something new, and turned my curling iron. While that was warming up, I stared at myself in the mirror. Why am I such an awful person? I finally understood why everyone hates me, including Jacob. However, I will never stop loving him. Ever. I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and wrote down my final goodbye. I touched the curling iron and felt 450 degrees of fire on my hand. Perfect. I pressed the curling iron all over my body multiple times, and the pain was unbearable, so I turned it off, and grabbed a punch of my mom's prescribed sleeping pills. I took a handful and forced them down with water. I could feel my heart beating slower, and then slower, and then even slower. I laid myself down into the cold bathroom floor and shut my eyes, hoping to God I will never have to open them up again.

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