Dreaming Backwards

(Ch 4)

Once there were two Men. Who never knew each other, One I do not remember,  the other I call Father. Two different lives shared to make me one. One was never my shining star so the other became my Sun. The 1st one gave me life, The other one is teaching me to live it. The 1st one gave me the need for the love, the second there to give it. One gave me a nationality, The other gave me a name. One gave me a talent , The other gave me an aim. One gave me emotions, the one calms my fears.  One should've sought for me a home, even though he could not provide. The other prayed for a child and his prayers we not denied. It's the little things that start to add up. The pain and the damage that tugs at my heart when the topic of "daddy's girl" comes up.   The smiles that fills their faces when they talk about the "Oh i remember when me and my dad..."  The way my eyes give away the disbelief in my heart when someone passes me and calls me "pretty".  The way my brows run into each other when people say "just have a conversation with him. There is two sides to every story" Forgive him, you have only heard your mothers thoughts on the situation". The way i crack my knuckles and roll my eyes when people say "Oh! You look like your "dad".  Going from attention seeker  to attention suffocated, From scattered birthday cards to everyday Good Morning's. From a daughter from another baby mamma to a daughter from a wife. From 2 word answers to Novel paragraphs. From empty smiles to count downs. From don't touch to open armed hugs. From death glares to informal eye contact. I guess the storm does have to come before good times. My dad is my man. And i am his little girl. A bound that could never be forced, something only time build. Love that was never shared  but now it's a given. Memories that pain can't take back because now our hearts beat in a rhythm.