Ryder

Chapter 13

It was weird not having my usual shadow around.  I entered first period alone, to which several classmates seemed astonished by.

"Where is she?"

"Ditching your girl isn't very gentlemanly!"

"Shut up," I mumbled.

"What was that, Ryan?  Trying to defend your girlfriend?" A girl, Erin Foster, sneered.

I breathed in deeply.  I was going to make sure that I had control of the situation. I was NOT Ryder's boyfriend, and I was going to make that clear. 

"I said, shut up.  She--that little....freak," I spat out, "is not, never was, or will ever be associated with me.  She's weird, and creepy, and I....I don't like her any more than you do.  I was just trying to be a nice person, but....I can't stand her."

A look of shock passed over everyone's face, Erin included.  "So you seriously were just pretending to be her friend all along?"

I gulped.  Lying was not my specialty, but I had to throw everything I had on the table.  "Absolutely," I assured them all.

A few of the guys in the back of the room clapped.  The sound echoed in the half-filled classroom. 

"Damn, Pohler!  I didn't know you had that in you, man!"

"Way to go, dude!"

I grinned.  Half of it was for show.  The other half of my smile was triumph.  I had succeeded in my lie.  I had crawled out of the hole that Ryder had dug for us both.

....

By the time she came in the classroom, it looked like she had literally dug a hole.  Her knees and skirt were adorned with mud, and the white shirt that she had worn that day was grass-stained and damp.  Her hands had skid marks on them, with small cuts.  A smear of dirt decorated her cheek. 

The rest of the class broke out laughing.  Even the teacher had to ask, "what happened?  Did you get hit by the bus?"  These people were vicious.  Bloodthirsty.  The teachers didn't care for bullied students, except for the school counselor.  But no one ever talked to her.  That was like holding up a huge sign that said "HEY GUYS!  OVER HERE!  I WANT TO GET PICKED ON!"  You just didn't show your weakness here.  Weakness meant that you could be overrun, and being overrun meant that there would be a war to see who gets your power. 

I didn't know whether to laugh or not.  I wasn't that cold-hearted.  This wasn't me.  I had hurt Ryder enough by ditching her, then telling everyone that she offically had no one.  But I wanted to be with them.  I wanted to be a normal kid, for once in my life.  A good person wouldn't have laughed, but I wasn't sure where I stood now.  Bitterly, I thought of all the times my "crush" had hurt me.  For the past few weeks, I had been taunted, pointed at, and even beat up.  All because of....her.  I was done with that thing.  Was she even human?

I tilted my head back and snorted with the rest of the kids.

....

Lunchtime rolled around fairly quickly that day.  I swiftly went to my locker, put(rather, shoved) away my books, and grabbed my sack of food.  I sprinted all the way to the cafeteria. 

When the boys at my usual table saw me, I could see them searching the room for Ryder.  When they realized she wasn't there, I noticed how they all breathed a sigh of relief.  Even the journalistic nerds hated her.  Jake Restum scooted over, smiling at me. 

"Finally," he said, reaching for a Club Cracker in his lunch, "you've left her to herself.  It was weird having an outsider with us."

I liked the way he said "us".  It was like I was part of a group now.  The kids had started noticing me when she had come, but not in a good way.  But today, I became one of them.  Jake, who I only knew from English, was actually speaking with me.

"Yeah," I agreed.  "It was like she couldn't leave me alone.  Everything I did, she copied.  It was so annoying."  I reached in for a lettuce and turkey sandwich and took a bite. 

"Dude, I have no clue how you put up with that.  She's so weird!  She literally NEVER talks.  And why does she always have that dumb blonde look on her face?"  Jake snickered. 

I swallowed.  "Ugh.  She was probably programmed that way."

Jake laughed.  "Ryan, you're pretty cool, you know?  I never thought I'd actually talk to you, you were always so quiet!"

I shrugged.  "I guess I was just worried that too much of my awesomeness would rub off on all of you losers," I sarcasticly remarked.  Two boys across from Jake and I, Michael and Noah, cracked up. 

"Hey, you're funny!  Guys, we need to hang out," Michael said.  Jake, Noah, and Michael were all friends.  Best friends, even.  And they were asking me, Ryan Pohler, introvert extraordinaire, to hang out with them?  Ditching Ryder had more perks than I thought. 

I nodded in agreement.  "For sure," I said. 

After we finished our food, we left the cafeteria together.  The four of us.  My new funny, relatable, Ryder-hating friends. 

....

The rest of the day went by pretty well.  Not a single person messed with me.  It was pure bliss.  I was okay.  I didn't have to worry about anything. 

The events of this morning spread widely throughout the grade, like a wildfire.  No one was teasing me about being Ryder's "boyfriend".  If liking her and her friendship was the price to pay for popularity and safeness, then it was worth it.  I was finally fitting in.  I was normal, a glorious gift that she had taken away from me.  I was a freed slave, and I used my newfound liberty to talk to more people.  I wasn't an outsider any more....she was.  She was the one who people would be picking on.  I was in the clear.

I walked out of school with ease.  It felt like a fresh new day.  All was well.  Except....except for that.

I found myself staring at the Ryder-shaped and sized mark on the ground.  A puddle of mud, smeared where she had fallen down.  The grass around it was twisted and bent, showing signs of her struggle.  The place where her head had been was deeper than the rest of the spot.  Her head must've been banged against the area pretty bad.  No wonder she had all that crap in her hair and on her face. 

I was hit with a sudden pang of guilt, one that flew at me as hard as the football that struck Ryder down.  How could I have been so inhuman?  Sure, I had been mad.  I was upset.  She had taken away my normality.  But did she deserve this now?

I gulped down a nervous fit, ripped my eyes away from the crime scene, and proceeded home.

Alone.