Punishment

Sheep under wolf's skin?

To
Dear readers,

Yo.
It has been two years since I updated the story.
Thank you all who still waited patiently. A lot has happened while I was at med school.

Now that I am free I shall write a chapter for you guys. I cant promise the next update, but hopefully it will be sooner.
Again I would like to thank all the people who have supported this story by giving it a fav or commenting, or generally given it a little attention.
I thank you.

Your faithful servant,
Author
P.s. for the question that I couldn't answer until now..... aphrodisiac means a drug or a food substance which basically turns you on. Things like date drug can be considered as a aphrodisiac.

★★★☆☆★★★

It was still there when he ran off to the brook, and it was still there when he was staring back at his reflection.

".....Wolf......"

                          ~~~~~

There are few instances in life that you wish you could forget about.

Some which would have been the most memorable moments of your life but then that one second ruins it. It all comes down to karma, and obviously seeing the recent events karma would not be in Kakashi's favor. Even though Kakshi knows not to saddened by Iruka for not taking his name - his original name- that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Consoling his heart that it all happened due to his current lust induced state. Stating that if the truth was reviled this site bestowed upon him would also be taken away, and after losing so much Kakashi couldn't lose this as well. Iruka was his only hope to color his life and he did till even he started asking questions and while Kakashi couldn't blame him for asking the identity of his lover, it would be one hell of a job to explain who he was and still keep Iruka interested in him.

It would still be acceptable, had he not heard Iruka moan his name again....and again and again until he fell asleep. It was like a broken record reminding Kakashi how broken he was and how deeply he had hurt yet another person in his life.

Kakshi had fallen to his knees. Somewhere back in his mind he was aware of the ears that were listening to the movements and moans. Somewhere else in his mind he realized that the night was a cold one.

Somewhere he also noticed that he was right in front of his tent, where Iruka was now sleeping. Completely unaware how close Kakashi was to crying and sinking in this depressive state which only resolved after killing someone in cold blood. Yes there was a reason why Kakashi was number one in what he did and it was a result of his traumas.

He needed air he needed to breath, moving out of the tent and making his way towards the brook. While on his way there
He heard a lot of shuffling both inside and outside the tent and he hoped that his team was better at hiding themselves when facing an enemy.

On reaching the brook and making sure that there was actually no one around he then sat down by the edge of the small steam and pulled out a pendent. It held no real meaning, but it was going to. If things had continued the way they were supposed to, Iruka would have been the owner of this pendent.

Kakashi didnt, couldn't promise him the future. A future where they were together long enough or even a happy one. So a wedding was not on his mind. This pendent however was like a symbol. 

A symbol that says that he would always belong to Iruka. That even if he never returns, everything that was Kakashi's would be his, including his last remains. It was not the world that Kakashi wanted to give him but it was all he had.

While he was ready to give his all, Iruka was so stuck on his identity that he refused to move forward. It was frustrating that even though he would have begged Iruka to give him time to disclose his identity he knew that the sensei was far too stubborn to see his point.

The pendent meant nothing if there was no face behind this mask. The absolute load of being denied had hit him. The ultimatum and Iruka's moans rolled in one became a nightmare. The pressure of what he wanted, what he could have but didn't get and what he had lost, started forming moisture in his eyes.

Kakashi had cried only a few times. It was always when he was lonely, always because of a loss of someone dear. Most of the times he was the one to mess the things up costing him heavily. This time too it seemed that his own actions had cost him someone dear to him to abandon him.

Frustrated at himself, he pushed the pendent back inside. He was not just upset that he had pushed Iruka away. He was also frustrated that this man had become so depressed that he was ready to risk his life in this mission because of a faceless imposter.

His initial anger towards Iruka was supposed to force him to back off...but that was only wishful thinking. He should have known how stubborn that man was. Kakashi could only smile in between the tears remembering the defiance in Iruka's eyes in the morning.

That only brought more tears to his eyes. Realizing that he had lost such an amazing man due to his cowardice.

'If these tears could speak for my repentance, probably then Iruka might take me in, no he would probably just look the other way if he saw how weak I am.'