Giving Fantasia: The Taking Fantasia Sequel

Chapter 104: All That Glitters Is Gold

Chapter 104: All That Glitters Is Gold

Among Arthur's problems:

(1) Elsa left him standing at the altar.

(2) Excalibur was missing.

(3) He was a wanted felon.

(4) His kingdom was overthrown.

(5) His heart was full of ice.

(6) He was slowly freezing to death.

(7) Elsa needed to fall in love with him to resolve problems 5 and 6.

(8) He was being chased by a murderous mob.

(9) His life was literally in Shrek's hands.

(10) And finally,

"Stop calling me Artie! My name is Ki—"

Shrek hiked a shoulder into Arthur's ribcage, shutting him up. The motion was more vindictive than necessary – at Shrek's pace, Arthur could hardly breath. It was a bumpy ride. Shrek was a bulldozer. His footprints left craters and trees practically scurried from his path. 

Although he was mad, Arthur admired Shrek's strength. And his speed. And his stamina. And his agility. And his –

--okay Shrek was pretty cool.

But Arthur was still mad.

"I'VE GOT YOUR KING!" Shrek bellowed at the mob. "THIS WAY! COME GET HIM!"

"I'm not b-bai-bait!" Arthur's jaw clattered as Shrek leapt over gravelly ledges. They had long lost Ogre Swamp, but the rocky terrain was nonetheless inhospitable.  "If yo-u're g-go-ing to ha-nd me ov-v-ver j-just do it! Let go s-so I ca-can – "

"Think you can escape, do ye?" Shrek surfed down a landslide. "Gonna outrun the mob?"

Arthur kicked. "I'm going to outrun you!"

"Ha!" Shrek laughed. "That's a farse!"

"That's the truth!"

"You're a real gas, kid."

"So are you!"

"Comes with the skin, I'm an ogre."

"Well I'm a king!"

"Artie you're not a – "

"Stop calling me Artie, I'm telling you – I am King Arthur!"

"You're a royal pain in the – "

Blue sparkles whacked Shrek like a brick wall. Three humans, a two headed dragon, and one silver-winged falcon followed, mimicking the proverbial bricks tumbling down. The opportunity would have been the perfect escape had Arthur not stumbled backwards into Kayley, who stumbled backwards into Garrett, who stumbled backwards into Schmendrick, who stumbled backwards off a cliff.

Luckily they landed on the mob. Unluckily the mob noticed. Most unluckily of all, Shrek attacked the mob and Arthur was right back where he started – slung over Shrek's shoulder.

"Nice try Highness!" Shrek heaved Arthur back up the cliff. Devon and Cornwall gaped as Shrek climbed while hollering to the mob. "LAST CALL FOR KING ARTIE BEFORE I EAT HIM!"

"King Artie?" Kayley stopped. A butcher knife spiraled over her ear as she turned to the cliff. "Artie as in –Arthur? Artie as in –? Eat him?"

Kayley blundered after Shrek. Schmendrick yanked her sleeve, but she pulled away. "It's Arthur! It's King Arthur! Devon! Cornwall! Stop that ogre, don't let him – "