Giving Fantasia: The Taking Fantasia Sequel

Chapter 37: The Outlaw and Vigilante

Chapter 37: The Outlaw and Vigilante

Robin Hood and Merida were very sensitive about definitions. Specifically, two definitions:

(1) Outlaw (n): a fox who has broken the law, and is therefore declared outside of legal protection. Tagline: You get what you pay for.

Verses,

(2) Vigilante (n): a person who takes the law into her own hands without legal authority.              Tagline: Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Robin was the outlaw, Merida was the vigilante, and together they dominated organized crime.

They were also employed by King Arthur.

It was confusing and awesome at the same time.

When they graduated from Fantasia School for the Magically Skewed, Merida and Robin had suddenly realized they had ZERO vocational skills. They also did not care to obtain vocational skills (especially if it involved paying tuition to a stuffy university).

It was a predicament. So, Merida and Robin had tackled their problem the best way possible: they got drunk. Hey, it was a Friday night and they had just graduated – the idea seemed flawless at the time.

So, after a round of "Skrumps!" Merida and Robin put their heads together. And when the air started to taste like Guinness, Merida and Robin suddenly (!) came to a conclusion.

Their Conclusion:

Really, all they were good at was archery. And all they really wanted to do...was archery.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Ponderous.

They shared another Guinness, brainstormed, and suddenly (!!) the solution hit.

Their Solution:

Superheroes! They were destined to be superheroes! They were destined to follow in the footsteps of Katniss Everdeen, Legolas Greenleaf, Hawkeye, and Green Arrow! They were destined to become bad-ass-BOW-AND-ARROW-yielding SUPERHEROES! Huzzah! Drinks all around to fictional archers!

(Again – Friday night – just graduated – little tipsy – the idea seemed flawless).

But their idea was flawed. Actually there were several flaws.

First, Fantasia was pretty darn peaceful. Crime had been eradicated in the Battle to Take Fantasia, and King Arthur was annoyingly good at maintaining peace. Consequently, superhero demand was at an all-time low. That was Flaw Number One.

Flaw Number Two were the guardians. Even if Fantasia was threatened, King Arthur would call upon Jim Hawkins, Wendy Darling, Ariel Triton, and Peter Pan for protection. Peter could fly, Ariel had a trident, Wendy exorcised people, and Jim was just a freaking animal. Merida and Robin felt a little outshined. Just a skosh.

Alak. Alas. All seemed loss. Merida and Robin purchased fifty pounds of chocolate and prepared to suffer mild depression.

Then, they learned about The Otherland.

And all their problems were solved.

The Otherland desperately needed superheroes. Death was considered a luxury;  those that lived were starved, molested, tortured, hunted, and cursed. True, children were 'protected' by four magical guardians, but most children only survived long enough to watch their parents die.