Obvious Truth, Oblivious Mind {ZIAM}

Ch. 6: Oh...

❝

Dear Liam,

I wish the day I went to my first day of training could've stayed the best day of my life. But for once, it wasn't bullies or other people who ruined it. It was you, and that was the worst part of all."

❞

Despite my aching legs, I decided to go walk to the bowling alley. I was the last one there it seemed. You were talking to Andy and Justin and a girl who curly dark hair who I could only assume was Andy's cousin. I walked over to your group and Justin saw me first. I've never talked to him before but he waved me over and gave me one of those bro hugs that hurt like a mother if you spent four hours boxing. I sat next to Liam, and his arm naturally went around the back of my chair. I felt this weird chill go up my arm, and I still didn't understand why. We ordered shoes, grabbed balls, and started playing. Danielle and Liam were the best of us, fighting for best score and getting stupidly competitive.

I tried to ignore the way you looked at her.

When she got two strikes in a row and won, he bowed and she laughed. They laughed and when we ordered horribly greasy food, she fed him a fry. He laughed harder than I've seen him in a while as she joked and did impressions of Andy when he turned his back. I saw him glow like a moth seems to when it dances around a flame. And it hurt because I've never seen someone make him that happy. I wanted to be that person.

I knew I loved you when you kissed her, and ran to me and told me about it. Late at night. You asked if I was awake and I said I was. My parents wouldn't have let you in at one in the morning, so you climbed in through my window on the second story. All to tell me about how amazing Danielle was. You laid on my floor, eyes glazed and trance-like, and said how she smelled like vanilla and tasted like cherries. And I've never hated you for it, but I have felt sick with emptiness.

This is why on the best day of my life, the day that I learned that I wasn't weak. I wasn't a loser. I didn't have to be pushed around. Liam Payne ruined it. The happiest day of his life so far was the same as my best day. The difference is that his best day didn't have anything to do with me; I wanted to learn how to be stronger for both of us. And he wanted to be happier for her. And that's how Liam James Payne ruined the best day of my life.