Bulletproof

6a. Alice

Seokjin feels fragile to you. Far too fragile to last in the world of war. You could send him over layered in three suits of Kevlar and he would still be returned to the sender broken. Shattered.

His hand is a collection of bones in yours. His thin wrist is an invitation to draw mahogany blood. The chin you called sharp in a dream of a romance is as menacing as a spoon in the face of what he is about to bear witness to.

But the worst indication of his weakness is his eyes.

The round irises that glimmer down at you are too deep, too rich, too beautiful to watch the chaos of unrestricted death unfold. Those eyes hold the knowledge of the workings of the world, and with it, the knowledge of the world's horrors. But they remain optimistic, unspoiled. Hopeful. You know when he comes back, if he comes back at all, that spark of innocence that led you to him will have vanished.

The tears you shed are not in fear but acceptance. You are not scared of Seokjin dying; you are ruined by the inevitability of the death of the man you knew.

Seokjin hugs his father, and you are surprised to see tears glittering on the stern older man's face. You wish they could have a more private goodbye, but there's no time now.

"I'm sorry, son," he chokes out. "We came here...so you could avoid being swept into the insanity of the world...but now you're being sent off to...t-to..." He doesn't finish. He can only hold his young boy in his arms until Seokjin starts to pull away.

His mother envelops him tightly, arms shaking and sobs spilling from her mouth.

"My son!" she cries repeatedly. "Oh my son!" Horrible, ugly noises fill the air as she struggles to breathe under the weight of her grief.

"It's okay, Mom," he whispers, voice trembling. "It's going to be okay." He rubs her back in circular motions with his broad hands.

You remember when those hands first touched yours two years ago. Seokjin had taken a summer job at the ice cream parlor five blocks from your house to help pay for school. You took your little sister to that shop every two weeks when you got paid to treat her to something your parents were loathe to provide.

When Seokjin first became a recurring face during your summer trips to the parlor, you hadn't thought much of it. He didn't immediately strike you as cute or attractive, but he was always kind, making sure your sister's order was exactly right and never skimping on whatever topping she asked for.

It had been a particularly sweltering Friday with no clouds overhead to offer a semblance of protection from the full force of the sun's rays. Dripping in perspiration, you and your sister burst into the store desperate for chilly refreshment. Of course, the line was excruciatingly long, and by the time you got to the counter where Seokjin stood, you were beyond irritable. He rang up your orders, amicable as always, but you didn't feel much like exchanging pleasantries. You paid and squeezed into a corner booth to eat your ice cream in peace with your sister.

After you were done, you stood and headed towards the exit, but enough people had dripped splatters of their half-melted treats onto the floor that the tile was unbearably slick. You lost your footing and went down hard. Seokjin scurried out from behind the counter to help you up, and you grudgingly accepted, cheeks burning with embarrassed anger.

"Thanks," you grumbled, straightening your skirt. You grabbed your sister's hand roughly, ready to storm out and just get home.

But Seokjin had other plans.

His hand slid into your free one.

"Wait."

You whirled around to face him, annoyance evident in your features.

"Would you--um--like to--to go out s-sometime? I mean, w-with me, or..."

Caught completely be surprise, the tension drained from your body. You dropped your sister's hand and stared at Seokjin.

"What?"

His face turned bright red as he swallowed and tried again. "I was just--I'm sorry. I was just thinking maybe you'd l-let me take you out sometime--l-like on a-a date or something. Because you're just r-really pretty and n-nice so I thought--I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked--"

"Yes," you had interrupted, glad that something had come along to change your mood. "A date...would be lovely. When?"

"Uh..." he stuttered, seemingly surprised that you'd accepted. "How about next Friday at 6?"

"Sure. That sounds perfect."

Both your faces had broken into wide smiles. You stood there for a moment before he bowed and said he needed to get back to the counter.

As you ushered your sister out of the store, you turned back and waved to Seokjin. He waved back enthusiastically, a cute grin stretching across his thick, rosy lips.

Now, the corners of those pink lips that felt like velvet against your own are pulled down, quivering, in a heartbreaking frown as he hugs your sister.

"Seokjin, please be careful," your little sister whispers.

He holds her, cupping his hand behind her head, as if she is his blood-related sister.

"We're both going to be strong now, Hannah, okay?"

Hannah nods and wipes her eyes, planting a quick but sincere kiss on his cheek.

You notice that he doesn't promise Hannah he's going to come back the way some people might. Seokjin was always a positive man, but he wasn't naïve. And he was never one to tell lies.

When Seokjin walks towards you, your heart constricts with the echo of his every step against the pavement.

He pauses and takes your hands in his before you break down.

"Jin!" All you can manage is his name. He takes you in his arms, and together, you sink to your knees.

"Please don't cry too much, darling. You know I hate to see you cry." His eyes are rimmed with red, and his voice is unsteady as he tries to smile. He gently swipes his thumb under your bottom lashes.

"Jin." You inhale deeply to get the shaking of your breaths under control. When you speak again, your voice is firm with the severity of your next statement, your next command. "I know you. You are kind and compassionate and that is the reason I am in love with you." You flash your left hand in front of his face. He smiles at the unadorned gold band around your ring finger. "That's why I agreed to this.

"But when you go out there, you cannot be that person. You are going to become a parent to every member of whatever team you get put on. I know that. But, Jin, I'm begging you. If it has to be you or them, promise me you will let it be them."

Jin's eyes are wide as he realizes just what it is you are asking. You grab his left hand and hold it between your faces.

"Please."