Bulletproof

2b. Virginia

Jimin suppresses his urge to snicker at her as she makes faces at the baby in her lap. The infant's laughter bubbles through plump, rosy lips and curls hers into a deep red crescent.

"Hi, sweetie! You're so pretty, little girl! I'm so glad your uncle lets me spoil you."

She bounces the child on her lap and winks playfully at Jimin. He holds his hand out, and the baby takes one of his fingers between five of her own stubby ones. She tries to pull it into her mouth to suck on, but Jimin resists her and puts his face inches from hers, smiling with white teeth peering out between thick lips.

"What are you doing, Mimi? You can't eat my finger. I need that--" His words end abruptly, something else he means to say getting caught in his throat before he closes his mouth.

There is a sudden shift in his mood, as though he's almost been caught in a lie. The line that creates the arch of his back gains just a little bit more rigidity. A divot appears in one cheek like he's biting the inside of his lip. Each inhalation sends his nostrils flaring ever so slightly.

"Jimin?" Ginnie's voice interrupts his strange stress reaction.

"Hmm?" he asks, eyebrows lifting in that way they do when he is planning a surprise and struggling to keep it under wraps. But there is a fear reflecting in his eyes that tells her this isn't the kind of secret she truly wants to hear.

The bouncing of her knee slows.

"Jimin, why are you making that face?"

He furrows his eyebrows and cocks his head as he fakes a smile, cocoa bangs flopping across his eyes. "What?"

She sets Mimi on the floor to crawl between the legs of all the baby-proofed furniture and scoots closer to Jimin. She rests her palm against the back of his hand.

"Jimin, something's bothering you. Tell me what it is."

Jimin inhales slowly and shakes his head. "I will, I will. But...not right now. It's not the time." He smiles without showing his teeth, and it sends a ripple of indignation through her chest.

"When's a good time then?" she counters, a bit of an edge creeping into her voice.

"Just...later," he stalls.

Her accelerating heartbeat forces words from her mouth. "No, Jimin, just tell me now. You're making me anxious."

He sighs and slips his hand out from hers to run it through his hair. "Babe, I really don't think you want to hear it right now. It's a long story, and...it's going to make you..." He hesitates. "...emotional."

Jimin doesn't actually move, but somehow, it seems as though he is shying away from her, retreating into the upholstery of the far end of the couch.

"Well," he starts slowly. "I...you know my feelings on the war."

And with that one statement, she already knows where the conversation is heading. Her stomach drops in anticipation. She doesn't want to listen after all. But a part of her is desperate to hear him prove her wrong.

"I...I talked to a recruiter last week...and I signed up. I'm in the Army."

There is a moment of stony silence. Even Mimi has stopped cooing as she senses the tension Ginnie is emitting towards Jimin.

"So that's it, then?" she asks with chilling tranquility in her even tone. He plays with his fingers in an attempt to avoid meeting her eyes. "You didn't want to talk to me about this decision at all? You didn't think to say, 'Hey, Virginia, I think I'm going to join the military and fight in a war that has nothing to do with me'?"

"It does have something to do with me," he counters. "And besides, if we talked about it beforehand, all that would have happened was you would have shouted and hollered until I didn't go."

"You're damn right I would have!"

"Ginnie, don't scream. You're going to scare Mimi."

"I'm scared, Jimin!" Blood rushes past her ears, a mirror of the whirling emotions behind her furious façade. She vacillates between blind terror for her first love and absolute rage at his secrecy and idiocy.

The logical side of her knows this was an inevitability. Loyalty and honor meant too much to Jimin for him to sit idly by while men died in service to the country.

But the part of her that really loves Jimin, loves his passion without reason, objects violently to his noble intentions. How could he be so selfish--preparing to leave her behind without a word of comfort?

His name bubbles viciously from her mouth in a cry of confusion, "Jimin!"

Mimi echoes her sob, frightened wails spewing from her mouth. Ginnie bends down and picks her up with one hand, teeth gritting together as the hot tears start to splash on her cheeks against her will. She rubs her face roughly to make them vanish, but more keep taking their place.

After a few minutes of pacing and bouncing Mimi on her shoulder, her legs grow weak and shaky. She hovers next to the couch and reluctantly sits.

Mimi whimpers into the electric air between Ginnie's body and Jimin's. Ginnie's voice is thick, tear-garbled, and dangerously soft. "I just need to know." Her eyes meet Jimin's, and she is glad that fear and regret are burned into his dark irises. "Why did Mimi biting your finger make you think about telling me you joined the Army?"

Jimin lowers his head and sighs. "Because I need that finger to pull my trigger."

Without another word, she stands and takes Mimi to her room. She doesn't know how long she is in there, rocking Mimi until she settles down and falls asleep, but when Mimi drifts off to a peaceful land far from the reality of the world, Ginnie grabs her purse from the living room and walks out the front door.

"Virginia, wait--" Jimin calls behind her.

But she doesn't hesitate.

And she doesn't look back.