A Hogwarts Legend: Round Two [2]

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen- "Lockhart on top of Harry, and us all watching."

Since the disastrous episode of the pixies, Professor Lockhart has not brought live creatures to class. Instead, he reads passages from his books to us, and sometimes re-enacts some of the more dramatic bits. He usually picks Harry to help with these reconstructions, much to my amusement.

Harry is hauled to the front of the class during today's Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson, this time acting a werewolf.

"Nice loud howl, Harry - exactly - and then, if you'll believe it, I pounced - like this - slammed him to the floor - thus - with one hand, I managed to hold him down - with my other, I put my wand to his throat - I then screwed up my remaining strength and performed the immensely complex Homorphus Charm - he let out a piteous moan - go on, Harry - higher than that - good - the fur vanished - the fangs shrank - and he turned back into a man. Simple, yet effective- and another village will remember me forever as the hero who delivered them from the monthly terror of werewolf attacks."

By this point, Maya, Elinor and I are almost wetting ourselves from laughing so hard.

"This would look so weird if someone was to walk in now," I mutter, "Lockhart on top of Harry, and us all watching. Kinky ..."

The bell rings and Lockhart gets to his feet.

"Homework: compose a poem about my defeat of the Wagga Wagga werewolf! Signed copies of Magical Me to the author of the best one!"

"He can go fuck himself if he thinks I'm going to do the homework," Maya mutters darkly.

"And he must be off his rocker if he thinks anyone but Hermione wants that prize," Elinor agrees.

The class begins to leave. Harry returns to the back of the classroom, where Hermione, Ron and I are waiting.

"Ready?" Harry mutters.

"Wait till everyone's gone," says Hermione nervously. "All right ..."

She approaches Lockhart's desk, a piece of paper clutched tightly in her hand, Harry, Ron and I right behind her.

"Er - Professor Lockhart?" Hermione stammers. "I wanted to - to get this book out of the library. Just for background reading." She hold out the piece of paper, her hand shaking slightly. "But the thing is, it's in the Restricted Section of the library, so I need a teacher to sign it - I'm sure it would help me understand what you say in Gadding with Ghouls about slow-acting venoms ..."

"Ah, Gadding with Ghouls!" says Lockhart, taking the note from Hermione and smiling widely at her. "Possibly my very favourite book. You enjoyed it?"

"Oh, yes," says Hermione eagerly. "So clever, the way you trapped that last one with the tea-strainer ..."

Wow, suck up much?

"Well, I'm sure no one will mind me giving the best student in the year a little extra help," says Lockhart warmly.

"Excuse me? She's joint top with me, thank you very much," I huff and glare at Lockhart, who squirms uncomfortably.

"Um, yes of course," Lockhart coughs and pulls out an enormous ugly peacock quill. "Yes, nice, isn't it?" he says, misreading the revolted looks on Ron's face. "I usually save it for book signings."