Gibbs's Daughter.

Telling Ziva.

I woke up on the floor. I sat up. "Why am I on the floor?" I asked. "You fell" Ziva replied. "Oh" I said. I looked at Ziva and as usual, she was staring at me. Dad's words popped into my mind and I began to ask myself if I should tell her. Maybe she could help. I looked away. I stood up and looked around. I grabbed my bag and walked to the ladies room. I heard footsteps behind me. I knew Ziva was following me. I entered the bathroom and went to the sinks. I opened the bag and pulled out a toothbrush and toothpaste. I began to brush my teeth. "What's on your stomach?" she asked. I sighed. "Ziva, give me some time, please?" I asked. She just leaned against the wall, staring at me. I groaned. I looked at my stomach through the mirror and sighed. Should I tell her now? No. It's not the time yet. I'm not ready to confide in her yet. "Tell me" she said. "I can't Ziva. Not now" I replied. "Why not now?" she asked. "It's not something that I can talk easily about" I replied. "I doubt that" she relied. I sighed. "You don't get it Ziva" I said. She rolled her eyes. "Why don't you help me get it by telling me" she said. "I'm not ready to" I said. She was getting on my nerves with all of the questioning. "You told a psychiatrist" she said. "A psychiatrist is different! I don't see him every day! I see you every day! I'm scared of what you and the others might think if you knew! I'm scared and afraid! I can't sleep because of it! I'm scared that people will think that I'm weak and I'm not! I don't want pity! Maybe I should tell you but I'm to much of a coward to have courage and just tell you! For that, I am sorry! I'm not brave enough to tell you or Tony or McGee!" I yelled. I fell down, crying. "I'm not going to think of you differently and neither will Tony and McGee. You don't have to tell me" she replied. I sniffed and wiped the tears away.

"I should. My dad told me to consider telling you and I did and maybe you're right. Maybe I would feel better that someone other than my dad knows. Maybe I wouldn't need a psychiatrist" I thought out loud. "It's your decision to tell me or not" she said. "You don't trust me unless I tell you" I said. "I trust you even if you don't" she replied. "Maybe but not fully and I do need to talk to someone other than a psychiatrist" I said. Ziva chuckled. "Okay. I'm ready" I said. She sat down next to me. "I had this boyfriend once. It was my last boyfriend. His name was Chad Dylan. I lived with him and one night, I woke up in the middle of the night and I heard a noise coming from downstairs. I got curious so I went downstairs. The noise grew louder and closer until I figured out that it was coming from the basement. I went downstairs and I recognized the noise. It was the screams of a woman. It was coming from Chad's study which I was never allowed to go into but curiosity got the better of me. I opened the door a crack and saw a woman in her twenties with a gag on and her hands were tied to a pole above her. There were cuts all over her and she was bleeding way too much. She saw me and he saw her look happy and hopeful. I closed the door and ran upstairs once he looked at the door. I hid but he convinced me that he wouldn't hurt me. I showed and he made me move closer to him so he could explain but instead, he pulled me back to his study and tied me up like the woman. He put a gag in my mouth so I wouldn't scream. He started to cut me and the first cut left a scar on my stomach. The woman eventually died of blood loss before the cops arrived. I did text the cops. I left my phone on the counter. He didn't notice. I was rescued and Chad was arrested. I lost a lot of blood but not enough to die from. Ever since then, I been having nightmares of it and I have been having a hard time trusting people" I confessed. Ziva stayed silent. I lifted my shirt to reveal my scar. "This is the only physical scar that I have" I added. "Thank you for telling me. You're not weak, Jess. There was nothing you could do" she whispered.

I chuckled. "I know that now. At first, I didn't tell my friends about it until after they kept making fun of me about me being weak. They took it back once I told them that it was me that they were making fun of. I was already working for the FBI then" I said. "Well, those friends are idiots. Don't let that stop you from getting help from others" Ziva said. I laughed. "Yeah. I should've done that" I said. Ziva chuckled. "Thank you for listening to me. Please don't tell the others. I want to tell them when I am fully ready to" I said. "Of course not. Now let's go" she said. We stood up. I grabbed my bag and wiped any remaining tears. We walked out of the bathroom and back to the squad room. Tony saw us and looked at me with curiosity. "What's wrong with you?" he asked. I looked at Ziva. "Nothing you need to know now" I replied. I went to my desk and put my bag away. Tony sat down on my desk next to me. "Why have you been crying?" he asked. I looked at him. "Ziva told me a funny story about you and I couldn't stop laughing" I lied. "Really?" he asked. I stood up and stood in front of him. I leaned in close to his ear. "Really" I whispered. I moved back. I winked at him. Ziva and McGee laughed. Tony looked flustered. "Are you okay Tony? Your cheeks are red" I asked. He laughed sarcastically. I laughed at that. I watched him walk to his desk. "Like what you see?" he asked. "Oh yes definitely" I replied. Everyone laughed at that. It was a great afternoon.