Without Myself

Chapter Four

     "What the hell Emilie?! You could've gotten me fired!" Fletcher scolds me once Alex is out of earshot.

     "Sorry luv," I mimic grimly, trying to rid my shoulder of the unbearable pain. Stupid Costa kids, think they're so cool and can do anything they want.

     "Hey, I'm sorry Emilie, I had just gotten a call and I wasn't very happy. I didn't mean to take it out on you." He confesses but i shake my head in disbelief.

     "Save it bud, because the sooner you get me to Jane, the sooner I can be done with you." I tell him sternly, letting him know that I don't have time for funny business.

     "Em, c'mon-" He starts but I won't hear it.

     "Or you could let me find my own way there. I'm more than capable," I narrow my eyes at him as he finally nods in defeat.

     "So it's goodbye then," He whispers, as if he doesn't want to go.

     "See ya," I mumble before heading to the elevator to my left, pushing the very top button, hoping I'm right.

*

     "Who're you?" Jane's receptionist asks me looking down at me from her nose.

     "I'm Emilie and I need to see Mrs. Costa please," I say as politely and sweetly as I can.

     "Do you have an appoitment?" She smirks, no doubt wanting to throw me out.

     "No but- she expecting me," I tell her before letting myself in, ignoring her cries of protest.

     "Phew, good afternoon Maddy. How are you?" I sigh as I walk around her desk and into her open arms.

     "Emilie, I assume you got here safely? How was your escort?" She asks and I scowl.

     "Well... Fletcher was... He was mean. He scared the crap outta Jake and almost broke my arm, and he wasn't to friendly, he acted more like a kidnapper than an escort," I conclude and I see her face harden, "Ok, good to know hun, thanks for letting me know," Maddy tells me to take a seat in one of mant chairs in her huge office before she disapears.

     But I've never never been one to stay put, so I get up and quickly get into the elevator before Maddy comes back. Maddy is what I call Jane when I'm around her. After all, it is her birth name. I pull out the Blackberry that Alex gave me and search the contacts, thankful that there are useful numbers already in it.

     "Hello?" I hear Gemini say but I can't bring myself to speak. I can't tell her what I'm going to do. It'll hurt her. I hang up and instead of going to find Adam, I go back to Maddy's office and take a seat like I was supposed to.

     "Aww ok, all taken care of." Maddy comes in just as I sit down.

     "You didn't fire him or whatever right?" I ask, trying to make my voice steady, not wanting to let on that I care. I don't care, but I wouldn't want to be held responsible for making Fletcher lose his job.

     "Oh no, just had a little chat. So why do you think I wanted to see you?" She asks as she sits behind her desk. And I swallow before opening my mouth.

     "I have no idea. But I want to... maybe come to work for you?" I mumble as I look down and pretend to pull a thread from my jeans.

     "What does your sister say about this?" She raises an eyebrow at me, daring me to tell her that Gem is totally fine with it.

     "She doesn't know and I'm hoping she won't find out," I fall into the chair behind me with a sigh.

     "Oh Emilie, you don't want this kind of life. And I don't want it for you either, it's dangerous," Maddy starts but I'm already nodding.

     "Maddy! I want this, please. It'll help me feel closer to my mom and dad. Please," I say hoping she'll at least think about it. I stare at her, for what seems a few minutes, hoping that she says yes. Needing her to let me do this.

     "Well you are a bit you young..." Without another word she stands up and motions for me to follow her.

     "Kathy, tell Mr. Jones we are coming down." She tells her receptionist before leading me down a flight of stairs. It's a good thing I just waited, I think to myself. We come to a room that looks like a box at a football game, except instead of game, we are watching trainees. The age differs from what looks like about 15 to 18. They are getting drilled in speed and agility. Or at least thats what Maddy says.

     "Wanna try?" I look up at her, wondering if she's serious.

     "Uhh, I don't know... they all look kind of scary." I try to laugh, but it comes out high pitched and squeaky.

     "It's ok Em, class is done in 2 minutes anyways. But we're gonna go down and you can do it by yourself with me and Adam," And her tone of voice tells me if I don't, then my chances at doing this just died. Just then a tone goes and Maddy nods at me.

     "Adam, I'd like you to meet someone." She smiles as she walks down the stairs, her heels clicking away. I try staying behind her but as soon as we get to the bottom, Adam sidesteps, pulling me out from my cover. He kicks my legs almost causing me to fall, but inches from the ground, his arms encircle me.

      "Hun, don't try to hide from me. Ever, ok?" I nod quickly before he sets me on my feet and chuckles.

     "I never thought I'd see you here Emilie, are you going to train?" I look over to Maddy and she nods.

     "Yes, but I want her to get a few one on one first," Jane leads me over to a storage closet, getting a small tank top down from a hanger. In a box she searches through, coming back up with pair of black shorts.

     "Put this on in those change rooms and come back out here." I follow in the direction she's pointing in and slowly make my way over there.

     I'm surprised to find a few girls still changing. I smile shyly before slipping my shirt off and pulling the other top on.

     "Who're you?" I hear and turn around to see a blonde haired girl sneering at me. She looks about the same age as me, and not at all friendly.

     "I'm Emilie, uhh I'm just about to go out there, I'm new-"

     "You're late ya know!" I wince at how sharp her words are but I chose to ignore her glares.

     "I- I know, I have a private lesson," I quickly put on the black shorts, and scurry out to where Adam and Maddy are waiting.

     "Ok hun, are you ready to go?" Adam winks and I nod before swallowing, hoping I do ok.

     "It's gonna be hell," He comments before pushing me towards the other end of the arena. Oh what did I get myself into?