damaged || muke

{1}

"do you ever feel like you don't belong here?"

luke is snapped out of his daze when he hears the shaky voice of his best friends who is sitting next to him.

"sure, I think a lot of people do actually," the blonde replies, not thinking much of the question as he allows the tip of his finger to trace over the indents in the stairs of michael's porch as the duo sat there.

michael has a cigarette hanging loosely between his pointer and middle finger. it's quite expected for him to have one, especially after all that went on earlier in the day. luke usually would say something in the terms of 'you're killing yourself', but now wasn't the time.

michael is shaking, luke can tell. his free hand is clenched, nails digging into the skin on his palm. he doesn't like seeing his friend like this, "yeah?"

"yeah," luke says, his eyes keeping a hold on michael, trying to find out what is going through the boys head right now.

it's silent now, but luke doesn't mind and michael certainly didn't mind either. luke was desperately hoping to avoid bringing up what happened. michael wants to bring it up, but he knew himself to well to know that it would only cause him to grow even more agitated than he already is.

"does it hurt?" michael questions, smoke floating from his mouth into the air and disappearing as he speaks, "right here," his hand caresses luke's cheek, the calloused skin on his thumb rubbing over the appearing dark bruise right under luke's eye.

luke flinches ever so slightly, his face scrunching up. but michael's touch is so gentle, so soft. he lies, "no."

michael mutters incoherent words under his breath, teeth gritted together as his jaw locked.

and even in the darkness of the late night, the concerned look on michael's face is quite obvious. michael has never been nervous about talking to luke about anything before, but this felt like a touchy subject at this specific moment.

"luke," michael stops himself for a moment, running his thumb and pointer finger over the week old scruff on his chin, "has - has your mum done that before?"

luke is hesitant before speaking, but he replies quickly, not letting michael make any assumptions before the blonde even gets to answer.

"no," luke lies like it was the easiest thing he could ever do. he lies straight to his best friend, looking him straight in the eyes.

michael's eyes squint at luke, searching for any sign that the blue eyed boy is being dishonest. a part of him is telling himself that it doesn't make any sense how luke's mum could out of the blue hurt her son, the most down to earth person michael has ever known.

"fuck," michael pushes himself up off the painted, chipped step. he throws his cigarette to the ground and puts it out with the bottom of his shoe, "you don't deserve that."

"mike, can we please not talk about it anymore? i'm fine. it was a one time thing. besides, i was the one who provoked it."

"don't you dare and blame that on yourself," michael says through gritted teeth, a bit harshly.

luke remained seated while michael paces back and fourth in a non stop motion. the blonde takes in a sharp inhale, breathing in the cold night air. he likes to say he is fine, but all he wants to do is cry. not only for his mum hitting him, but for how much more it hurt to be in love with someone that would never love him the way luke loves michael. especially at times like this, when michael was always there for him and always more concerned about his well being more than anyone else ever was.

luke finally stands up and grabs michael's arm, making the taller boy face him and stop pacing, "can we go to bed, please? all i want is for tonight to be over."

michael gnaws down on his bottom lip and takes a few seconds to look at luke before answering, "let's stay here tonight. you're not going back to your house alone."

luke smiles gently. for the rest of the night, not a word was exchanged.