i've given up on you ➣ ashton irwin a.u.

➣0.4

"dont worry i'll keep out of your life

and stay awake at night."

➣ october

i wake up in the middle of the night with calums head on my stomach.
i laugh quietly, trying not to disturb him.

i usually don't sleep through the night because my head doesn't let me. i dont have nightmares, they're more like very vivid dreams. they aren't fun though. they usually go along the lines of my father leaving and saying he doesn't want to see me again.

my therapist gave me sleeping medicine, but all that did was make it to where i couldn't wake up from the dreams. when i take it, i always wake up even more tired than if i hadn't slept at all.

i say no, thank you to that.

i just lay there in calums bed and think about what i have to do tomorrow. i know, i have to go home and drop phantom off at my house. i clean for our neighbors for some extra money. i live in a wealthy neighborhood because my mother makes good money, but that doesn't mean she shares any with me.

my neighbors are really nice people though. they always treat me nicely, and they also pay me really well to clean their large house. i only do it on special occasions like christmas, thanksgiving, and any occasion where people are invited to their house. i'm not really sure what's happening on this occasion, but i am always up for helping them out; and making some extra cash.

after that i don't really have anything to do. i don't have any friends but calum. he always encourages me to branch out, but im not really into it. it would be nice to have a friend of the female spectrum to talk about periods and the normal girl stuff, but until then i guess calum will have to pretend he understands.

i notice that the sun is starting to rise signaling that it's probably alittle after six in the morning. i need to go home and feed my dog and finish up some school stuff.

i carefully scoot out from under calum and replace a pillow for where my body was.

he stirs alittle and mumbles something i couldn't comprehend. he stayed asleep though, which i'm happy he did, he needs the sleep.

i call for phantom when i make it to calums front door, and he comes running from somewhere in the hallway. i lock the bottom lock on my way out, because saftey first.

i back out of the driveway and make my way toward my house. it isn't a long drive from calums. maybe about ten minutes away from my mothers house. my mother never really liked calum, she's kind of convinced there's something more to us then just best friends. once, she walked in on calum sleeping in my bed, and she totally freaked out. she thought we had actually slept together.

that just shows how much she actually knows me. if she knew me she'd know that calum and i are completely a platonic relationship.

mom wasn't even mad that he was in my bed, she was just mad it was calum. he's not up to """"our social statis"""". basically, to her that means if you don't live in a huge house and have four cars you're basically irrelevant.

it's completely disgusting if you ask me.

i reach home and park in one of the garages. my moms car isn't in hers so i guess she isn't home.

i cut the engine off and just pick at the sweats calum lent me to wear. i have alot of homework to do, but i'd still rather sit in my car and procrastinate then do what needs to be done.

eventually i get the energy to drag myself out of the car and into my bedroom.

my bed room is pretty normal, i have plain gray walls, wood floors, and a king size bed with a beat up british flag comforter on it. i have two large closets in my room, which is a perk of having a big house; i guess. one just has clothes, but the other is my favorite.