Dark Corners / ✓

twenty-one: of case files

"Do you ever get that feeling that you can't shift the tide that sticks around like something's in your teeth?" - Arctic Monkeys, Do I Wanna Know?

I paced around my living room, Griffin's keys held tightly in one hand, the other swinging nervously by my side.

I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what exactly it was. And that worried me beyond belief. I couldn't imagine why Griffin would ask me to take Grant's car back to our apartment complex and volunteer them to take the bus. I couldn't understand why Grant was screaming at the cemetery, or why Griffin suddenly seemed to take the situation a whole lot more seriously after that event.

It was giving me a headache, thinking about it all. I couldn't piece any of it together, which only worked to fuel my frustration and confusion. I wanted Griffin to call and explain what was happening, but I knew he wouldn't. Knowing Griffin, he wouldn't tell me for days, weeks even, and would probably wound up avoiding me, too.

I was worried about Grant, too. Even though I hadn't known him too long - a few months - I still cared about him. He was genuinely a nice guy who made it obvious that he cared for me, and I hated that he was clearly in distress. I hated that I called Griffin schizophrenic and the affect it had on Grant.

I groaned loudly and tossed Griffin's keys on my table, instead choosing to pull out my phone. My eyebrows rose in surprise when I saw a message, only to fall when I saw it was Cara. I sighed and took a deep breath, deciding that I needed to talk to someone whose last name didn't end in Cutkosky.

I dialed Cara's number quickly and dropped down onto the couch, only to stand back up. My nerves were fried, and I couldn't calm myself down enough to simply just sit. I ran my fingers through my knotty hair and walked into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge, riffling through the contents, and shutting it when I didn't find anything I wanted.

"Hey!" Cara shouted, the background noise of wherever she was drowning out her voice. I could hear music and turned the volume up on my phone, "What's up? Wait, gimme a second."

I waited a few seconds until Cara said "okay" and the background noise ended abruptly. I gave her a minute (I figured she was at the bar or something) and went back into the living room, tracing my fingers absentmindedly over the pictures hung on the wall. Cara said okay again and I took another deep breath.

"I have to tell you something," I started, having no clue how else to start this story. Hell, I didn't even understand what was happening, so I didn't know how I expected to explain it to Cara, "This probably isn't going to make sense, but..."

I explained everything to my best friend as good as I could, trying not to leave out any details. I explained the situation from the day before where I called Griffin schizophrenic, and how angry Grant got at the comment. I told her how the conversation at Dunkin' had gone from peaceful to Grant snapping in seconds.

I told her everything, probably adding unnecessary details, but I wasn't about to leave anything out. I told her how worried I was and how strange it was that Griffin had me drive Grant's car home. I said everything until I was out of breath and sure that I had said much more than I needed to.

And then Cara surprised me with her answer.

"Are you okay?"

I paused, because I definitely hadn't thought about that, "I mean, I guess? I'm just all shaken up, I think. I feel bad for what I did to Griffin." 

"Yeah, well, you should. But that isn't what's important right now," Cara continued, and I heard her let out a couple of deep breaths from her side of the phone, "Do you want me to come up there? Anything I can do? This just seems like way too much to handle."