Defending Our Rights- Shadowhunters

I Need You: Malec-Chp.4

I grabbed his shirt but stopped myself. I can't do this. I stopped kissing him and buried my head in his neck. More tears came down and he tightened his grip. "Shhhhh Alec. Please don't cry."

"I-I can't Magnus. We c-can't." I was shaking. I couldn't do this. No matter what now this wedding was happening. I can't do this to Lydia.

"Alec just tell me what to do. Please."

"I don't know."

"I hate seeing you like this. You need to tell me what I have to do to help."

"I don't know I don't know I don't know!" I banged on his chest and broke down even more. I curled into a ball on his chest. He sat up and held me in his lap. I realized what I did and hugged him tighter. "I'm sorry Magnus I'm so sorry."

"Sh it's alright. Alexander you're going to be fine. You need to calm down please."

"Magnus this can't h-happen. I can't do this, t-to Lydia, to the Institute, to my family." I hated saying it. It was worse when it came out of my mouth. I didn't want to hurt him but there's nothing I can do anymore. It's all out of control. Jace was right, he was saving me from myself. But there's only one person that can do that and I may loose that person forever.

"I know, it's my fault I should have stopped you and made sure it was what you wanted before I let it get out of hand."

"It's not your fault Magnus I initiated it I'm just, confused."

"Alec, I get it. You must have so much going through that beautiful head of yours." He kissed my head. "You'll get through this. I should have stopped you were just so upset I thought it would cheer you up, I-I'm sorry." 

"You shouldn't be, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Alec, whatever you want to do it's your decision." I sighed and lightly placed my head on his chest.

"I just wanna fall asleep." I closed my eyes and gripped his shirt.

"Alright." He stood up and lied me down on the bed. He kissed my head gently and started to walk out.

"Magnus?" He turned around at the doorway. "Please don't leave." He looked down and sighed before pulling the chair over to the bed and sitting next to me. "You don't have to sit there." I moved over to let him lay down on the bed. I snuggled into his chest and he wrapped an arm around me.

"Goodnight Alexander."

*^*^*Time Skip To Around 2 a.m.*^*^*

I heard moving around and the door shut. I looked up to see a note on the pillow.

          I made sure you went to sleep before I left, I didn't want you to get in trouble for me being here in the morning.

                        ~Magnus

I jumped out of bed and opened the door. I raced down the hall to catch up with the surprisingly very fast warlock. He was about to walk out the door when I stopped him.

"Magnus." I whisper-yelled so that I wouldn't wake anyone else up. He turned around and lowered his head.

"I'm sorry. did I wake you?"

It doesn't matter, you don't have to leave?"

"Why shouldn't I Alexander? So you can stay there sleeping the rest of the night in my arms while I fall even more in love with you every second just to have you ripped away. I can't do this Alec, it's not right."

"Magnus, I..."

"No, don't. You said it yourself. This wedding is happening no matter what. And if it's happening I don't wanna be a part of it." He turned the knob and walked out of the institute, tears glistening on his cheek. I could feel them sliding down mine as well. I couldn't lose Magnus, but this wedding IS happening.

*^*^*Time Skip*^*^*

It's been four days since I last saw Magnus. The wedding's tomorrow. I was informed that he was at the Institute the other day for a meeting with Jace and Clary but he must have avoided me at all costs because I didn't know till yesterday. Me and Jace made up at my "bachelor party" that Izzy threw for me. Me and Jace were left in a room to talk and that was it. I was talking to Clary by Jocelyn and my phone buzzed in my back pocket. I grabbed it to see a text from Magnus.

"Come to my apartment- Urgent!!!" I excused myself from Clary and drove over. He must have information on the Warlock that gave the potion to Jocelyn.

"Hello!" I screamed walking in. "Magnus? You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Alexander!" He came out of a side room, drink in hand. "I thought you wouldn't come." I put my hand out and was going to ask a question before he made a glass of wine appear in my hand. "You know how I hate to drink alone."

"I didn't come here to drink."

((OMG U GUYS KNOW WHAT HAPPENS OK SKIPPING THIS TALK.))

"This is all a game to you isn't it?" I yelled looking at his hurt expression. I hated to see him like that but for some reason I couldn't stop the words that were coming. "You flirt, you laugh, you use magic, but in the end, what do you risk? Even if I did feel something for you, what do you want me to give up my life for you? I could lose my job, my family, everything."

"You have a choice to make Alexander." I could see the sting from my words in those puppy dog eyes. I couldn't bare to look at them so I turned to leave but stopped when I heard his shaking voice again. "I will not ask again." I let out a breath and turned around but he was gone. Like he vanished into thin air.

"MAGNUS?" I looked in the few rooms he had in his apartment. "Magnus come on! Where are you?!" I sighed and took a seat on his couch, covering my face with my hands. I can't believe I let him slip away again. But he has to come home eventually, so I'll wait.