The Virtual Affection | #Wattys2018

#18 Moment Of Truth

Me: I don't understand. How can you not like chocolate?!!

Dave: I don't know. It looks like poop.

Me: You're weird, kid.

Dave: ...

Me:...

Dave: You there?

Me: Yes, still here.

Dave: What's the first thing that comes to your head?

Me: ummm potatoes?

Dave: Wow, you've got issues.

Me: Come on, I was just thinking about dinner.

Dave: Uh huh.

Me: Okay, what about you? What's the first thing that comes to your head?

Dave: You.

Me: OMG such a flirt!

Dave: I play my ace, honey.

Me: Don't call me that!

Dave: Okay, look. I know it's cheesy saying this over text, but I don't find a way otherwise. I am totally headlong into you.

Me: Dave, come on. You aren't.

Dave: I've tried to tell that to myself for a long time now.

Me: You have a girlfriend.

Dave: Not anymore. Tell me, don't you like me? Even a little?

Me: No, it's not that. I like you. But...

Dave: But what?

Me: It's complicated.

Dave: Why are you so afraid of loving me, Carol? I mean, even at school, you barely talk to me. Why do you want to distance yourself from me?

Me: Dave...there's something you don't know about me.

Dave: Well, what is it?

Me: If I tell you, you'll hate me.

Dave: I can never hate you. You gotta trust me on this.

Me: See, that's the thing! Don't call me that. I'm not Carol.

There. I did it. I told him the truth. All these months of sweet pretence and romantic walks down the rose gardens - this is what it all comes down to. What am I feeling? Fear, guilt, remorse, sadness, nervousness, disappointment? Probably all of them, especially fear. Fear of losing him.

Dave: What the hell are you talking about?

I draw in a nervous breath and continue typing with shaky hands.

Me: I'm not who you think I am. I'm not Caroline. I'm just an ordinary girl. I'm Sarah Allen.

I close my eyes and sigh for a moment.

Me: And I love you too. [Saved to Drafts 11:23 p.m]