The Story of How Élaine Got Me Taped to a Fucking Pole

Drunk guys really like hugging me

When I arrived at home, June already sat on my bed. She had dyed her hair again, this time it was bright red. Her face was painted with so much makeup that I barely recognized her. She was pale as an Irishman, had signal pink cheeks, blue lipstick, a nose so red it looked like she had the worst cold ever, her eyeshadow was bright yellow and huge, the only normal thing about her whole face was the winged eyeliner and the mascara. In short; she looked like a clown. She even had a matching hat with a goddamn flower on it. June came at me with a gleam in her eye. The next thing I knew, she had sat me down on the bed and started my makeover. She smiled while doing it, that evil little twit. When she was done I looked just like her.

We almost spent the rest of the day walking around in the nearest town while actively trying to light up other peoples days. It boosted my mood, because I really love being silly and helping others. June did not mention the break-up, even though she must've known about it. Several kids wanted a hug from us, and even more teens wanted a selfie. Some grown ups laughed when they saw us, but most of them just walked past. Halfway into operation-clown, June decided that we'd follow some of the most grumpy looking grown-ups, just to try to make them laugh. The last man we followed decided to be the worlds biggest buzzkill ever. He called the cops on us. The cops almost pissed their pants in laughter when they saw 'The terrible teenagers that are stalking an innocent man', the officer that struggled the least with not rolling on the floor in tears of amusement asked us why we were stalking the man. We told him the truth, and then the other officers chuckled even more. The first officer told us that we would not get any penalties, but that we should probably go home. The grown up started a huge discussion with the officers when he heard that.
"Look, dude, they weren't doing anything wrong. We fixed your problem, and they're going home. So I suggest you thank us," said the officer and smiled at me and June.

June slept over at my house that night, I guess I needed it. We watched some Netflix and ate so much potato chips that my body must have hated me. Like, I know that I should probably not stuff my face with unhealthy things as much as I do, but somebody has to do it. There will always be that one incredibly unhealthy person that's also simultaneously thin. Somebody has to be that person, and I had no problem being that person. Sparing others from doing the job, that's how it works right? Anyways, that night was one of the really bad nights. While I stuffed my face with about three bags of chips, and chocolate, June barely ate half a bag. I was so pathetic. Trine called a little over midnight and invited us over to her cabin the next day, she told us that she was going to have a small party and needed us to come help her set up the decoration.

I drove us to Trines hut on Percy right after breakfast. It was a one hour drive, and June had not been there before. But I knew where it was, it was right by the sea, in a tiny fjord not far away from Halden. I hadn't been that much in the actual city, but I must admit that it seems like a neat place. With its cute houses and fancy fortress on the top of the hill, it looked like a quite nice place to live. When we had passed the city and started climbing the hills that surrounded the approaching waters, I was filled with a sort of calm feeling. I wasn't over Even at all, but it felt okay. I understood his choice, kind of. The winding road climbed up and down the side of the hill, and finally I could see Trines cabin, by the water. I turned onto the gravel road that led down to it, and annoyed myself over having to drive so goddamn slowly to make sure the wheels did not slip.
"Friends!" Trine shouted and ran out of her cabin, dressed in a shorts and bikini-top.
"Trine!" June shouted as I let her of the motorcycle when we made it down the hill. I parked Percy right by the house, just in case there would come any cars today. I looked around, the familiar smell of salt water mixed with the nice smell of the forest. Trines cabin was not that different looking from Evens, at least Trines cabin was painted in a different colour. I walked towards the door.
"And where do you think you're going miss?" asked Trine and grabbed my arm lightly and dragged me towards the backyard instead.
"It's a beach party, and we're going to have a barbeque. You guys have to help me put out towels and prepare the grill!"
"But I haven't got any bikini..." And I knew that June didn't either. Trine, as the ball of poorly planned ideas that she was, had forgot to mention the small detail about it being a beach party. How considerate of her.
"Uhm... I'll think of something," she said and ran into the cabin.

She came back a few minutes later, with the most horrible bikinis I've ever seen in my entire life. June and I politely declined them and convinced Trine that we would be just fine sitting on the beach while the others were in the water. We laid out the towels and fired up the grill, and about ten other people showed up. When I saw that Lucas and Emil was part of the crew, I almost jumped in joy. I waved at them and made them come over to me and June. Emil was Junes boyfriend, and I have to admit it, he is a good looking guy. He had a shape of face like a model, and his body was fit like those 'teenagers' you see on typical teen-shows. He had this obsession with horror movies, so if you asked him about them, you'd get a four hour long powerpoint presentation of why you should have a Saw marathon with your friends this upcoming week-end.

Lucas was a normally built, fit guy. He loved to go fishing, and he loved playing handball. He was the type of guy that you could call in the middle of the night, and he would just agree on meeting you and taking a stroll to the nearest barn jus to sit inside of it and talk. He wore glasses, and had already got a small beard, which he was super proud of. He had a look on his face that made you wonder if he knew something that you did not. In other words, he was just the type of human that I'd love to be friends with. Luckily for me, he already was my friend, and had been for several years.
June hurried towards them and whispered something in their ears before they had gotten all the way to the grill. And before I knew it, I got jumped by both Emil and Lucas. Their hug almost reminded me of the hug of those drunk guys.
"You hug like drunk guys," I blurted out.
"We are drunk guys," Emil announced. I had no trouble believing him, his breath smelled like alcohol, even though it was barely four in the afternoon. Lucas nodded fast, he was known for mixing redbull and vodka. I don't know if it tastes good, or if it is a good idea, but he does it, and it makes him super hyped for a while, but he crashed twice as hard as everybody else at the morning. Even though drinking wasn't exactly for me, I had fun watching all of the others waltz around at the beach. I'm one of those lawful teenagers that actually planned on waiting until I was 18 to drink alcohol.
As the sun started to set, and all of the food had been eaten, we started going inside of the cabin to listen to some music. But I figured out that I wasn't that keen on being inside of a cabin filled with drunk teens shouting and dancing, so I informed Trine and June that I would be heading home.
"How am I going to get back?" June asked.
"You're not! You're staying here with me suggarcup!" said Trine and kissed June on the cheek.
"Oh well, have a nice ride home Aurora! Watch out for the seagulls! They're nasty, big birds!" said June and smiled to me.
"I will... Have fun crashing tomorrow!" I said and laughed at them as I put on my helmet and connected it to my phone, so I could listen to music while driving.