Life Abstract

Chapter One: The beginning

I was quite small for my age. Twenty-nine years ago, I was born in Midway Adventist Hospital in Evansdale,Washington. Only five pounds though. My mother tells me that labor was so long for her that when I came out that small, she had a fit. I mean it was not my fault. My mother is tiny. She was only ninety pounds before she got pregnant with me. So as I got older, I never grew bigger like the doctors said. I was only thirty pounds in kindergarten. Everyone else was about forty pounds. Even now as a senior in highschool I am only ninety pounds. Most of my classmates tend to make jokes about my size. They would say things like,
"She's Asian. What did you expect?" And yes I am Asian but that isn't a valid explanation for my size. Its actually a stupid stereotype because sumo wrestlers aren't necessarily small and they're Asian. Yeah, not a good example but I don't have much to say about it. And you don't know how many times people made jokes about me and jujitsu... Jujitsu is not even an an Asian martial art. Oh well. I don't like any of those people anyways so what they have to say about me is irrelevant.

You could say academically, I started from the bottom. I have dyslexia and was held back in second grade. But at around sixth grade, I stopped letting dyslexia control me. I started working harder and pushing myself relentlessly until I was learning like everyone else. Soon I was taken out of the easy learning programs and was excelling every subject with scores that surpassed every student in my grade. I ended up skipping eighth grade and look at me now. I have everyone kissing my butt trying to copy off of me and trying to get me to tutor them. Of course I don't since those are the a same people who make me the the butt of their racist jokes. And it doesn't help that my first name is Aysia. Thanks dad... Cheers. One thing you should know about me is that my life is filled to the brim with cruel irony. Starting with my name. Thankfully, my middle name is tolerable and that's what I go by publicly. Kai.

My father is Chinese and my mother is American. I like to call myself Wasian. White and Asian. Oh the identity crises are plenty, but we won't get into that right now.
Riiiiingggggg! I sigh. Putting on my bedroom shoes and robe, I slowly make my way downstairs. The pizza guy is early. Not that I'm complaining but... I just got comfortable in my sheets. You know when you have your hands between your thighs warming them up and you are laying the perfect angle on your bed? Yeah that was me. I was just about to fall asleep when the pizza arrived. My parents are out of town visiting my grandparents in China. Which totally sucks because Christmas was a little more than three days ago. I am literally alone during the after holidays. They will not be back until the fourth of January, meaning I will also be spending New Year alone. American New Years, but still frustrating enough. I will have the entire house to my self for a week. This should make me happy, I should do something fun.

My mother told me the first time my grandparents laid eyes on me my grandmother screamed and said I looked like an alien.
"Alice! Her head is huge!" she exclaimed. My father coughed trying to hide his laugh and my mother turned red with anger and embarrassment. My father told me I self consciously touched my head as if I understood what she had said. I never liked talking to my grandma much after hearing that story. But soon I realised that I don't like to talk to anyone. The people who do try to talk to me just end up interrogating me.
'Doesn't it suck not having anyone to vent to,' they'd ask.
Um... No? I have this thing called a diary. And the best thing about those is that they will never tell your business. I have no nosy siblings to worry about, and my parents don't even know the book exists. See? Easy solution. And like I say many times, I like not having friends.

Anyways, I get to the door and open it ready to receive my pizza. As I open the door I am greeted by the hottest thing I have ever seen. Really, no exaggerations. Some may not see it, but I sure did. His eyes were very unique. One was a cerulean blue and the other a sea of emerald. His hair was bright blue and his lips were this rosy hue of pink. I'm pretty sure he was wearing eyeliner too. He didn't look like the type to bring home to mother and his features were not very striking, but to me he was perfect. Though the second he opened his mouth, I hated him.

"Well about time you opened this door. What are you, a sloth?" he asked rudely.
"Excuse me?" I reply.
He shoves the pizza box in my hand.
"That will be $19.95. That's including tax."
Okay, two can play that game, I internally grumble.
"Great." I say nicely. I pick a twenty out of my wallet and throw it at his chest. "Oh, and I want the change," I snap. I'm internally laughing because the change was five cents. Now he has to shuffle around for a nickel. He sneers at me and digs a nickel out of his pocket. Then he throws it into the overgrown grass in my yard. Well that's lost forever. He turns on his heel and makes his way off my porch.
"You can forget about your tip, BUTTHOLE," I bellow.
"Oh yeah? That's probably the worst word you've said in your entire life you nerd!" He shouts before climbing in the car and zooming off.
"I'm reporting you on yelp and to Papa Giacomos," I screech. Though by now the car is out of sight. I walk back inside and put down the pizza having lost my appetite. I go back upstairs fuming because deep down I know what he said was true. Butthole was the worst thing I said to anyone and the guilt was eating me alive. Of course I go back downstairs and grab the Pizza.

Authors Note: The hospital she was born in and the city is fictional. Other details may be fictional too so don't try googling any of the cities. You won't find anything. :)