Opia

3

It had been about a week since I'd seen Sam. She didn't ride the bus and the classes I did have her in she kept her distance. Her book felt like 100 pounds in my backpack but I never took it out. She didn't ask for it back. When I wasn't staring at her I felt her stares burn through my skin. She was the main thing I on my mind most of the time. Now that I think about it, last Thursday I almost hit another car while driving my moms car home from the bookstore. I was thinking about apologizing. I never see her with anyone else. She sits at the far end of a lunch table alone everyday. I mean it's only been a week of school but I've even made one friend, Alanna. We're working on a group project together for creative writing so naturally we started hanging out some. It's lunch time currently and my stomach is in a knot. She's right there. Alone. Her red hair in her face and her hands across her face. Why wasn't anyone helping her? Why wasn't I? I sat with my usual crowd. Lis, you're such a coward.
I hadn't told anyone about what had happened between us. It felt wrong to share the story as if I was proud to be a coward. Sam had gotten up and put away her tray, fast walking out of the lunch room. Her hands and hair covered most of her face but she had a large purple, green bruise that stretched the length of her arm. It didn't look at all flattering with her paleish skin tone. She didn't have a jacket on her that I could tell. I don't know how I managed to gather the strength to stand up but I did and rushed after her. She sat slouched in the hallway staring at her hands. I reached out handing her my jacket. "It's okay it's going to be fine I swear it is." She looked up and took my jacket quickly covering her arms. "What do you think you're trying to do? You obviously don't want me around considering the way you reacted. Honestly I don't think anyone wants me around anymore". I stood there a moment, stunned. "I'm sorry." I slouched down next to her and we sat there. It wasn't the awkward kind of silence. It was the good kind, where you knee you were safe, wanted, etc. We sat there for about 10 minutes until I realized the lunch period was basically over. She slowly arose from the wall, giving me a small smile and disappearing into the groups of students slowly releasing from their classes. It was back. That feeling.
It's definitely there.
Ugh what is this? I arose as well and headed to 7th period. Why is my stomach is a knewly formed knot, different from the last. More painful. Suddenly the book felt 200xs heavier.
Dammit Sam.