Our Love Story

I'm Not Okay

     (A/N~play the song while you read again. Warning! This chapter is a major tear jerker! I was sobbing while writing it!)
     "Wait!" I yell, "Let me say goodbye!"
     The doctor nods and I run up to the bed and pull Josh's lifeless body into a hug. I sat there for at least ten minutes.
     "I love you. I hope that you are happy where you are. I love you so much. You are my best friend, my superhero, and most importantly, my brother. You protected me just like you promised. I hope that I can see you again someday." I whisper.
     I get back up and run to my mom. She pulls me into her arms and I start to sob into her shirt. He's gone. Forever.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
It has been a went since Josh's funeral. I have started keeping a journal because my mom said that it would help me get over it. How could I ever get over it?! My brother DIED! That is not something that you get over that easily! I still haven't used it, but I guess that I could.
     Dear Diary,
     It has been two weeks. Two long, miserable weeks. I still can't believe that he is gone. Over 47 people have asked me "How I was doing". I just put on the biggest smile that I can and say that I'm fine. They seem to believe it so it's working. I'm not fine. In fact, I'm the opposite of fine. I'm broken. What I really want to say is "Why did he leave me? Why'd he have to go?I was counting on forever, now I'll never know. I can't even breathe. It's like I'm looking from a distance. Standing in the background. Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now. This can't be happening to me. This is just a dream." But instead I just say that I'm fine. Well that is all for now.
     Sincerely,
     Addison😫😖😩
     I went downstairs with a big, fake smile on my face for dinner. Gracie, Hunter, and Aiden were joining us. I haven't seen them since the funeral so I was excited. When the doorbell rang I ran to get it. When I opened it, I saw all three of them standing in the doorway. I gave each of them a hug and we went into the dining room for dinner.
     "Addison?" Gracie asks.
     "Yeah?"
     "You'd never lie to me...right?"
     "Right..."
     "How are you? Be honest!"
     "I-I-I'm..." I got up from the dining room table and ran upstairs to my room. I curled up in my walk-in closet on one of the chairs in there. It was the place that I went when I wanted to be alone. I tried to breathe in to calm myself down but I couldn't breathe. I tried again but to no avail. Anxiety attack. I rarely had them. I tried calming myself down. Nothing was working. The room started spinning. All of my friends and family busted thought the door and saw me not being able to breathe and they ran towards me. Everything started getting fuzzy and spinning faster. All of a sudden, it all went dark.