Runners||Carl Grimes

4. Substitute

Song- Sorry; Justin Bieber (Cover; Tayler Buono)
Willow's pov

I rock Luke back and forth in the rocking chair. It's currently midnight and he won't go to sleep. I haven't spoken to Carl since this afternoon. He left after lunch, but I did hear the front door open about an hour ago so I'm figuring he's home.
I feel my hair being pulled.
"Owwwww. No, no no. We aren't going to pull Willows hair. Not gonna do that okay? Okay." I say quietly, getting my hair away from the baby. I see Luke beginning to close his eyes after a few minutes. I stand up carefully and set him on his back, down in his crib.
I step outside, leaving the door cracked. I do a silent happy dance, congratulating myself on getting him to sleep. Honestly, I'm just ready to go to bed. I take the baby monitor out of my back pocket and turn it on. I walk down the hallway.
As I'm about to open the door to mine and Carl's room, I hear people speaking. A girls voice, one I recognize.
"You know how much I'd die to fuck you right now?" The voice giggled. I cracked the door open so I could peek in but not be noticed. Enid.
Carl was lying on the bed with Enid on her stomach on top of him. Carl had his knee propped up to keep her from sliding off. It didn't look like anything had happened yet since they were both still fully clothed.
Carl was smiling at her. He looked really happy.
"Is that so?" He asked her. Sliding his fingers in between Enid's. I gulp and push the door open. Pretending I wasn't just watching. Both of their heads snap in my direction. They both give eachother that small smile. You know that adult smile. That has a sigh to it even though no one sighed. It says, I'm more grown up than you. And I'm more mature than you'll ever be.
Enid gets off Carl. She tells me goodnight and walks out with her coat.
I walk over to the bed. I look at Carl.
"Move over." I say. He shifts over. I lay down behind him. Wait a minute...
"Am I a side chick?" I whisper out loud. I put my hand over my mouth. I didn't mean to say that, I just thought it and it came out. Carl chuckles and turns over to face me.
"Darling...you can't be a side chick if I don't have a main girl. Now go to sleep, it's your first week here and I don't need you tired, okay?" Carl says, running his finger over my cheek. I nod and close my eyes.
*Next Morning*
I surprisingly wake up before Carl. I feel his arm over my stomach and his leg over mine. I softly flip over and face him. I sighed through my nose and set my lips into a straight line.
I wanted to fuck him.
But also want to kill him.
I should do both.
I push his hair out of his closed eyes. He jolted awake when I do this, and his hand flies to my throat. Carl sees its just me and released my neck.
"Sorry...just reflex." He says with a shrug. I hear crying from the children's room. I begin to stand.
"No that's Judith I'll get it." Carl says setting his had on my chest to keep me from standing, I shove it off.
"Carl it's fine. You do so much already, I'll handle the-" I get cut off.
"You're not her mother!" Carl snaps. I step back a little.
"Carl, I-I never said I was."
"Well now you know. I don't give a damn about Madeline or Luke, but don't you dare try to mother Judith in any way. Got it Grimes?" Carl says loudly. I feel tears well up in my eyes and I nod.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. Carl just walks out, going to calm Judith down. I'm not sorry for trying to help out with his sister.
I'm sorry or whatever happened to his mother to make him react like that.
I listen to Carl calm Judith from a room over.
"Honey you're going to be just fine. I'm not going to let the monsters get you."
"But what about you? What if they eat you?!" I hear Judith start to wail again.
"Oh sweetheart..." I hear Carl says as he walks by the room with her in his arms.

1 hour later
"Breakfast is ready!" I hear Carl yell, getting my attention away from my book. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and throw the blanket off me.
I walk through the empty halls and touch the white walls. I slowly walk down the steps and see Carl sitting on the couch with Judith still in his arms. He has tears going down his cheeks. I sat on the top step and watched him.
I've never seen someone look so broken.
Judith pulls her head away from his neck. Waterworks are coming from her too.
"Where's mommy?" She asks. Her small hands placed on his shoulders. Carl squeezed his eyes shut to try to keep more tears from spilling.
"I'll tell you later okay?" Carl says in a small voice.
"Did she not love me?" Judith speaks, her lip quivering.
I walk down the steps quickly, I walk to Carl and hold my arms out for Judith. He looks at me and shakes his head.
"You're not alone Carl. Stop acting like you are." I say firmly. He sniffs and sets Judith in my hands. I bounce her on my hip.
"Hi Judy. Want me to play you a song?" I ask, brushing my fingertips against her stomach. She nods slightly. I give a small smile and go to the piano in the back room. I sit on the bench with Judith on my lap.
I play the notes to 'my heart will go on' that I remember. It wasn't perfect since I haven't had a piano lesson recently. Judith slams random keys, making her giggle.
I play, or well...we play for a few more minutes. Then I take her out to the table. I hand her to Kellin.
He gives me a disgusted look.
"Just take her. I'm trusting you." I say.
Kellin sighs but nods and bounces Judith on his knee. I go out and sit in front of Carl on the couch.
His eyes are dull, broken. He's not focused on anything.
"Do. You want to talk about in?" I ask. Carl doesn't answer, just sits with his hands in his lap and continues to stare at the couch cushion. We just sit in silence.
I stand up to walk away. Maybe he just needs some space. He grabs my hand as I move passed him, stopping me. He wraps his arms around my waist and cries into my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair.
"I miss her." He cries, burying his face more into the fabric of my clothing. By now I had begun to cry.
"I know. I miss mine too." I say with a sniffle. I set my fingers under his chin and lift his head to look at me.
"Let me take you some where Carl." I whisper.

•••••••
Do you ship, or nah?