The Evolution of Myself

I'm Not Ok

I'm Not OK

Everyone thinks I'm OK.

When I'm barley making it from day to day.

This thought passes through my mind,

As I press down on the gas, as time unwinds,

Tears going down my face,

In my chest, I feel my heart race,

God why?

Why did you let him die?

Did my soul come to this place to experience this pain?

My question rings out as I swerve from lane to lane,

If I experience death in the same way he did,

Will I go back to the time when we were all kids?

I press on the gas going five miles more.

The trill of danger burning through my core.

Everyone thinks I'm ok.

When I barely made it off that highway that day.

The only thing that stopped me was his face,

I saw him on the side of the road during my death race.

"You have more to do," he said to me.

"You have a life and a family.

You will see me again, and I'll see you,

You have to think, don't be a fool."

Though he is dead he saved my life,

Through death came my life.

But everyone thinks I'm ok.

When I'm still barley making it from day to day.

*****
Heard your voice calling my name,

Heard your laugh it all sounds the same,

Saw your car just the other day,

Saw you and you still look the same,

Felt your skin, and gone was the pain,

Felt your life, and it still felt the same.

Breath your smell, my heart felt a sensation,

Breath your air, but its just my imagination.

-"My Imagination" ( Originally written:

...Everyday was a struggle as darkness consumed me, and I prayed for the poison to just come back and take me.

My smile hides my frown,

My silence hides my sound,

My shine hides my tarnish,

My existence hides my perish,

-"Emotions Hidden" ( Originally written:

****

Looking at your photo,

Nothing but pain,

Thinking bout your life,

Mine will never be the same,

Looking at your photo,

I turn to my kids,

I ask them one question,

Do you know who this is?

Yea that's Nelso,

They can't pronounce your name,

I smile at them,

Even through the pain,

Sometimes I can't comprehend,

The fact that your gone,

Wishing for the fabric of life,

To be re-sewn ,

My heart is broken,

New pieces can't fit,

I stare at this photo,

With your smile lit,

But I can't smile back,

The pain so deep,

Your one lost thing,

That God found to keep,

I ask for peace,

But this sad poem is what I get,

I'm waiting for the pieces,

The ones that fit.

-"Broken Pieces" (Originally written:

Dedicated To: D'uarte Frazier ( 8/24/91 - 6/19/11 )