The Evolution of Myself

What Makes Me a Woman

( Original written: February 9, 2010 3:18 am)

Yes I had kids at a young age,

and when you do that your destined for a change.

However, that is not what makes me a woman.

That's what most people fail to understand.

My mom was a single parent just like me.

Working long , late night shifts to get us what we need.

Me and my older brother had to step it up.

Cooking, watching my siblings, cleaning up.

When he left it was up to me alone,

I didn't have a life; I stayed at home.

I didn't go to parties or chill with friends.

I was staying at home doing what I can.

At the age 17, yes I became pregnant,

and I moved out to relieve my mother's stress.

I got an apartment and payed my own bills,

and no it wasn't , "The house on the hill."

But I wasn't living off of my mom.

I did the grown woman thing, and I moved on.

Yes , I did have three more children,

but that is my business.

I take care of them and they are happy,

and yes all four call the same man daddy.

We are still together and doing our thing.

If we want we will have more kids with no shame.

The point is I put what is important before myself.

You people have no idea how that felt.

So don't judge me, judge yourself.

Because I didn't ask any of you for help.

I didn't say I don't have childish ways,

but who doesn't get caught up in "Back in the days."

BUT. I am a grown woman, so don't make that mistake.

So for those who are judging me keep on the hate.

It's making me stronger each and everyday.

You guessed right the drug turned into a seed, and the seed into children. Around this time in my life my friends, family , and even teachers began to melt from my sides and plant themselves firmly on the pavement. All I received was judgement, I could't fathom why they even cared what was going on in my life when theirs were not perfect.

Are you the most popular person in the crowd,

or the one being ghetto and loud?

Maybe your the one with the whispers behind your back?

No, your probably the one who is always starting the attack.

Can you be the person who sleeps around,

or the person that keeps your shit locked down? ( "Clink Clink" in my Madea voice. )

Are you one who cries silently at night,

or the person who does it in plain sight?

Maybe your the player in town?

No, your the one who always gets shot down.

Can you be the Leo who has the courage to go on.

or the Libra who is quite yet strong?

Are you the neighborhood hoe,

or the shy girl who always says no?

Maybe you are a real man, you know the real deal,

or just the asshole who won't​ even buy their child a meal?

Can you be the one who is easy to love,

or the one who can't stand to give a woman a hug?

There are three questions I would like to ask you.

Do you know who you are?

Who are you? ... and

Who Cares.

-"Who Cares" ( Originally written : June 12, 2011 10:53 PM )

Anyway back to me and my shadows dipped in poison :

Damn, I was a fool in love. Why do fools fall in love? Why does love turn into shadows? Two questions that I find the answer to much later on, and by the way.. these shadows are about to get a little bit darker...but don't judge.

If I was living in your life, I wouldn't be living in mine.

If I was living in your life, I would be slowly dying.

Even when you judge mine,

Keep in mind, yours may be worst ten times,

So you look in your mirror and I'll look in mine.

Because, you may find a few cracks and lines.

-"Don't Live in Mine" ( Original written August 7, 2011 2:47 am)