Like My Mother

Chapter Four

Bleep.

Bleep.

Bleep.

Oh god, please someone shut the thing up.

Bleep.

Bleep.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Bleep.

I groan and open my eyes. But instead of my white ceiling with flowers printed on it, I see a ceiling with whitish yellow tint to it. This is definately not my room.

Bleep.

"Mother of fucking god, what the hell is that noise?" I grumble loudly as I try to move my head and look for the source. Only my head doesn't move when I try to move it, something is keeping me from moving it. I left my right hand to feel for whats keeping me from moving. But when I go to bend my wrist, it won't move either. Why the hell won't any part of my body move? I hold my hand up high in the air only to see an ugly white plaster cast all the way up to my elbow.

When I try to move my left leg, it won't move either so I only guess that there's an ugly plaster cast on it too. I'm also going to guess that is what's on my neck. When I hold up my left arm, I see there is a cast all the way up to my shoulder almost on it. Three of my fingers are bandaged up too.

And there goes that freakin' noise again.

"God! Is anyone in this stupid room with me? Or am I seriously just talking to myself? Can anyone tell me why I can't move half of my body or am I just going to have to guess someone jumped me or somethng?" I practically yell. Where the hell am I even at? It's certainly not home, our house would never be this dirty.

I heard someone gasp and shove out of a chair, considering it scraped against the floor and made a god awful sound when it did so. Then my dad's face appeared above mine in a shock yet happy look.

"Please make the bleeping stop, dad. I'm trying to sleep." I grumble and close my eyes again. I'd kill to turn over right now, but considering my body won't move due to all the plaster I just continue to lay on my back.

Then I felt my dads arms envelop me into a bone crushing hug as I heard him trying to cover his crying. "Oh god Izzy, I thought I lost my only little girl. Thank god your okay." He let go of me and just looked at me. Tears were obvious in his eyes, though I don't know why. How did they almost loose me? I'm completely fine besides all the plaster.

The confused look on my face most have given away my thoughts because my dads face became shocked. "You don't remember what happened do you?" When I shake my head he sighs and plops down on the bed next to me. "You were in a car accident. A semi-truck hit your car, on your side. You went through three major surgerys and almost died in two of them. Baby, you've been in a coma for a month." He study my face as I gasped and felt tears prickle my eyes as the memories flooded back.

Grandma had told me about my sister, Diana. She told me mom only died because she had me, that she could of lived if I died. That was the reason King hated me, and why the rest of the world did too. I was feeling horrible that my mom only died because of me. I didn't want to die when I ran the red light but I didn't care to live either. The memories come back and hit me just as fast as the truck did that night.

I started crying, harder than I ever had in my life. "Why did they save me, daddy? I dont deserve to be alive! You should have let them kill me." I sob and sob as my dad holds me and rocks me, telling me he could never bare to loose me. I bet he told my mom that too. He's doing just fine without her, he doesn't need me in his life. I only create havoc for people.

Suicidual thoughts had never crossed my mind ever before in my life, but now all I want is to be dead. Being dead isnt as bad as what everyone makes it out to be, really. When your dead, you get to see the people you love and miss. I'd get to see my mom, my sister, my grandma and grandpa. How is that such a horrible place if its filled with people who love you? Life is worse.

"Isabel! That is no way to be thinking! Do you know what it would do to me if you died? To your grandmother? Your brother? Everyone! We'd be loosing your mother all over again and honestly, I dont think I could live through that kind of grief again." My dad shouted at me, tears shining brightly in his eyes. "I've lost one daughter, Izzy. I'm not about to loose another one." He whispered as he hugged me tightly.

I sniffle and just let myself cry. For once in my life, my dad isnt only comforting me when I'm crying, I'm comforting him as well. "Daddy... I'm so sorry mom died because of me. And Diana Grace too. If I could, I'd perfer they'd live and not me. Everyone would be happier." I whisper into his shoulder.

Dad pulled back and sat down on the bed beside me. "No baby, they wouldn't be happier. God had in store that he needed your mum and Diana in heaven with him, not you. Your mom choose to save you, she loved you so much already Izzy. Don't disappoint her by taking your life. She wanted you to live for a reason, make her proud be living for her." Every word hit me like a ton of bricks and they rang loud and true.

Why would God kill my mom and sister if I wasnt meant to do something on earth? I need to stop feeling so shitty for myself and doing things to make them proud. I'm doing no good for anyone by crying at home about how everyone hates me.

As soon as I leave this hospital, I'm going to show the world what Isabel is made of. I'm the granddaughter of King Charles, niece of King William and Queen Kate, sister to future King Kingston. Daughter of Sofie and Prince Harry. I will show the world I can achieve greatness, just like my mother.

Soon, everyone will know exactly who Princess Isabel is.

They will learn to love me,

Like my mother...

-----------------------------------------------------------

blahblahblah, it stinks. I know. Half of this was written........ a while ago. So sorry if it is as bad as I predict it to be. I promise I will try my best to get back into uploading weekly, I can't promise anything since school is my first priority.

Until next time,<3

Votes, Comments & Fan.