Counting Down the Days » Phan AU

Seven

"I know this is hard for you to hear. But I've never loved you Dan. I've only loved Him."

"He" didn't have a name, He was a tall shadowy figure who grasped Phil's fingered tightly. I screamed.

"How could you do this to me, Phil? I love you!"

The thin boy released Phil's hands and glided towards me. "You aren't good enough. You're pathetic."

My hands trembled. I reached into my pocket and felt for something I didn't know I had. My hand grasped the handle of the knife. I pulled it out swifty and rammed it into His chest. With a quiver, He fell to the floor. Phil rushed over and landed on the ground next to him, shaking with fear. I laughed and laughed and didn't stop. I dropped the knife to the floor and walked away.

I woke up drenched in sweat. Rolling over, I hopped out of bed and shuttered at the fading realness of the dream. I made my way out of my bedroom. PJ and Chris were sat on the couch eating salads.

"Morning Sunshine!" PJ said. "We were just about to come in and get you!"

I rubbed my eyes. "What? Why? What time is it?"

"It's almost 3 in the afternoon," Chris said.

"What! I fell asleep at 5! That's nearly 24 hours!" I said.

"Who knows. But, if you were able to sleep for that long, that must mean that you needed the rest," PJ said, taking a bite of his salad.

I nodded and sat on the couch next to them, still getting used to the light.

The next two days passed in a blur. I remember going to the grocery store with Chris and PJ to buy 20 boxes of Phil's favorite cereal. I remember making a playlist to listen to with Phil when he returned. I remembered sleeping, a lot. I don't know what had gotten into me but I had been catching a lot of Z's. I'm too nervous about Phil's arrival to worry about it though.

Dan's entry- 29 of July

It is currently 7:36, a day before Phil returns. Chris and PJ said they would go to the train station with me tomorrow to pick up Phil. I am really grateful for them during all this. Who knows what would have happened without them- me being alone for so long? I know Phil will like them. The four of us will be unstoppable!

I should just sleep, but I can't. It's like Christmas Eve, except Phil is better than any gift I could ever get.

I placed my pen and notepad down and curled up in the blankets, knowing it would be the last cold night in this bed without Phil cuddling up next to me.

I don't remember falling asleep. But the next morning, I launched out of bed the second I heard my alarm beep. I yelped in excitement and veered into the living room to wake Chris and PJ, who both had been staying the night for a while now.

I climbed onto the couch cushions and jumped up and down. "Phil's train arrives in an hour and a half! Rise and shine!" They groaned and rolled out of bed.

I walked into the bedroom again, pulling the calendar out from underneath the bed. I retraced the heart drawn around today's date as tears dripped down my face.

Chris tapped on the bedroom door lightly and entered. "Ready to go, mate?" he asked.

"Of course!" I hopped off the floor, slipped on my sneakers, and flung my backpack of essentials over my shoulder. I had packed it the night before. Including but not limited to: my notepad, a box of Phil's cereal, a camera to take a picture of when we first see each other again, etc.

Chris and I jumped into PJ's car and drove off down the road. PJ played a Muse album and we sang all the way to the airport. I was so overwhelmed with this pile of anxiety and excitement balled up in my stomach. You know the feeling you get on the car ride to a concert? It's like that, but a thousand times better.

We pulled up to the airport and parked. My eyes were welling up once again, but I managed to get ahold of myself. I flew out of the car and skipped playfully to the doors, dragging PJ and Chris by their arms. I was being a child and I didn't care one bit.

"Time?" Chris asked.
PJ checked his watch. "9:55."

I literally yelped in excitement. "Phil's plane lands in 5 minutes!" I jumped in the air and yanked them harder towards the entrance. We flew through the airport, Chris and PJ barely being able to stay on my tail.

"Dan! Why don't we just wait on a bench or something for Phil?" Chris calls after a significant amount of wheezing. We fell onto a couch next to the suitcases rounding the conveyer belt.

After a few minutes, people started piling out of a door to the left of us. I yelped in excitement and jumped from the cushion, eyeing the exiting travelers.

The three of us walked closer to the door to wait for Phil. My insides were bubbling. Everything would make sense soon, as to why he wasn't answering. We waited for everyone to pass by. I was becoming more and more restless, waiting for Phil to emerge. I snuck a glance at Chris. He raised and eyebrow at PJ. A woman and her son stepped out of the door. The boy was hanging tightly onto his mother's hand. No one followed them. I flung myself at the door, but it swung shut in my face.

Chris called out to the mother. "Ma'am!- What flight are you coming from?"

I didn't even hear her response. This was Phil's flight. My heart was beating all the way up to my ears. Where is Phil? If something had happened to him, wouldn't I have found out somehow? I fell to the ground, yanking at my hair. Nothing has been making sense. And now Phil is nowhere. Where is he? Who is he?

Who is Phil Lester? It's only been a month but it feels like more. He seems so distant. I try to tell myself that everything will go back to normal once he resurfaces from wherever the hell he is on the planet, but I'm having a hard time believing it. Where is he?

PJ and Chris are talking to me. I see there mouths moving but I don't register the words. There's a ringing in my ears. I can't remember where I am. I don't know who Phil Lester is. I don't know who I am.

I roll over onto the ground and fall. I am lulled to sleep by the airport fans and my world spindles to black.