Wild Hot Addiction

Chapter 9

"Hey, let's have breakfast, Nay Lucy cooked some tocilog"

I am in my room that one Saturday morning when she suddenly popped out of my door. It's been 4 days since she started living here at the house. I smiled at her at sumunod ako sakanya pababa.

"Hmm, how are you and the baby? Do you need anything?" I suddenly asked her, just so I can cut the silence.

"I'm fine. Hindi naman kasi makulit itong si baby." sabi nya sakin. 

Napangiti naman ako sa sinabi nya. Hearing her talk about our baby like that.

While walking down the stairs ay naalala ko si Andrew Calvin. She said na tinawagan nya ito pero nagkita na kaya sila?

"Have you seen Calvin already? Did he know that you are here?", I asked her before I could stop my mouth. Napatingin ako sakanya at nakita ko syang umiling.

"Ow" that is all that I could say. Bakit di sya nagpakita sa nobyo?

And as if hearing my thought ay sinagot nya ang tanong sa isip ko.

"I'm a mess and I don't want Andrew to get caught in the middle of this thing. I know hanggang ngayon hinahanap nya ko kahit na sinabi kong okay ako." She smiled a bit before continuing.

"And I don't have any plans na magpakita sakanya. He can move on, I know it. And I know his better off without me", makahulugan nyang sabi. Napayuko ako. I feel guilty for every pain she has for him.

"I'm sorry", naisatinig ko. Mahina lang iyon pero alam kong narinig nya ako.

"Mackross, you save my life once and you are trying to save it again almost a year and a half ago, but what's disappointing is that you choose a wrong way of doing it.", naikuyom ko ang mga palad ko.

"I'm still sorry, di ko dapat ginawa yun", nakagat ko ang ibabang labi ko dahil nanginginig ang buong katawan ko.

"Don't be, kung hindi dahil dun wala tong baby na to, our baby may be a product of sin but he is still a gift", naramdaman kong may tumulo mula sa mata ko.

I'm crying, isang hikbi ang kumawala sa bigbig ko at nagsunodsunod na ito. I have been crying since she comes back and I can't really blame her cause it was all me.

Naramdaman kong lumapit sya sakin at niyakap ako. "Just let all the guilt flow, gagaan din yan"

"I do-don't dese-rve this. Why are you being kind to me? Sinaktan kita eh", umiiyak kong tanong sakanya but she just smiled to me and hug me tightly.

"You've had enough of this cruel world Mackross. Di na dapat pa kitang sisihin"

And just like that, I cried out everything that I kept inside of me for a long time.

All the pain, anger, and guilt. They all poured out of my system.

I never realize that crying makes things lighter. Naramdaman kong uniti-unting nababawasan ang mga itinanim ko sa puso ko. Parang unti-unti silang lumalabas at nawawala, making me feel so liberated from all the pain.

We stayed like that for a long time.

Nasa hallway pa kami but I don't care, I cried my heart out to her.

I cried for the boy I was for the first time and it is not gay-ish, it's relieving.

He cried like a lost boy. At naawa ako sakanya, seeing him cry like this.

During the 6 months that I am with Nanay Lucy, I tried to end my life repeatedly but when I first heard my child's heartbeat I cried. How can I possibly have thought of killing him?

That is what's on my mind and slowly Nanay Lucy and Sir Able told me the story of an accursed family. 

I learned about his childhood. Nanay Lucy says that she tried to shower Ross all the love that he needed but killing 30 people at a young age also killed the boy he should have been.

Mr. Abel told me that after that incident, Ross's father didn't stop until he killed the last person of that family who killed his wife while Ross, on the other hand, learns how to kill people, just so he can protect other important people from his life.

And they told me that the reason I was alive the day my parents died is Ross. He made sure that I and my teacher will not make it home that night.

That was when I remembered playing with him during family days on their company, he is older than me but he always plays with me even if all I want to play is barbies and dress-up. He is that boy I had a crush on when I was a kid.

What he did to me is unjustifiable and I can't forget it, what I can do is forgive him. He is just a lost boy, so lost that he didn't know what is right from wrong.

We stayed in that hallway for about an hour nang dumating si Nanay Lucy. Nakatulugan na ni Ross ang pag-iyak. Pinabuhat sya ni Nanay pabalik sa kwarto nito. That is when Markus arrived. Nginitian ko sya and he did the same.

"He is still sleeping. Kain ka muna, sabayan mo kami ni Nanay."

Ngumiti sya sakin at sumunod sa dining. Dalawa lang kami doon.

"Nasaan si Nanay?" tanong nya sakin habang paupo sya.

"Inayos nya lang sa kwarto si Ross."

Inabutan ko sya nang kanin. I looked at him. Napakatahimik nya. And I suddenly remembered what Nanay told me about him.

"Do you want revenge as well?"

Biglaan kong tanong sakanya. Nag-angat sya nang tingin sakin, walang expression ang mukha nya.

"I do. But I have made a promise with Mackross."

"What is it?"

Tinitigan nya ako nang matagal before saying.

"That I will take care of your son. So, please make sure that both of you will come back, cause I don't want to tell your son that you both died."

Napatitig ako sakanya. "I will make sure of that."

"Good."

And after that small talk ay kumain na kami, hindi rin nagtagal ay sinaluhan na kami Nanay.

I asked the maids na ipagtabi nang pagkain si Ross. He will surely be starving when he wakes up. Nagkakape sila sa garden habang gatas naman ang sakin nang magsalita bigla si Markus.

"I found him already."

Mabilis akong napalingon sakanya. Does he mean that bastard chemist? 

"I had him followed so concentrate on your pregnancy and after that, you can go all out on him. Just remember your promise to me."

Inubos ko ang gatas ko at tsaka ako sumagot sakanya.

"I will make sure that he suffers. I promise you that as well."

"Good"

With that simple conversation ay nagkaintindihan na kami.

I can't wait for that moment I will finally see him eye to eye. He took a lot of lives that night just so he can be rich. Selfish bastard.

I will make sure that he will feel the pain of all the children that lost their parents that night. The pain of the parents who can't do anything to stop themselves because of him.

He will die, and I will make sure of that.