Adopted By One Direction

Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

One long, almost life less week has gone by. A week were my mind turns half unconscious by choice. Preferring nightmares over dealing with my so called ‘dads’. I know I told them I will risk trusting them, and I just might, but in my own time. They don’t seem to have much respect for my desired distance. To them, its like they’ve known me my whole life, like I have never been in another family aside from theirs. But they could never possibly understand my countless fears of the idea of family. Being on bed rest this past week has not made things any easier, being completely dependent on the boys has produced an increase in their protectiveness. Every word that is spoken seems to be so monitored, like the slightest error could result in tears. I’m done crying, I have no more tears left. My weakness has transformed from tears to silent mental cries. I’m too frightened to depend on anyone at the moment. It scares me too much to think about going against what I have lived by, breaking all the rules I made up for myself to stay alive. No matter how hard I try to trust, I can’t seem to shush the never ending yelling of my inner voice. 

Thankfully my bed rest ends tomorrow, I will hopefully be able to move without being so breathless. Even sitting up in bed is a task, eating is a nightmare, and shots still terrify me. The amount of movies I have watched in a week is mind blowing. Mostly Disney films, I have grown quite attached to them. The idea of magical worlds, were just about everything is perfect, intrigues me. The boys and I are currently watching Toy Story 3, apparently one of Liam’s favorites, which I do find a bit odd that he loves Disney films so much. Niall and Zayn are close by my side, while Harry, Louis, and Liam are lying on the couch they put in next to my bed while I’m sick. 

I can tell the film is almost over, along with that comes the knowledge that a shot is near. I shiver at the mere thought of it causing Niall to look down at me with concern. “Everything alright Mads?” I nod my head and let a weak smile form on my lips. Naturally, he could tell somethings bothering me, so he sends me an almost warning look yet a sympathetic one, still digging for answers. I look up at him with nerves whispering, “I know I have to get a shot soon, thats all.” He simply looks down with pity in his eyes, knowing that I’m right and this is one thing he can’t prevent my fears. “Don’t worry love, its your last one. Your almost done.” He says while pulling me closer into his side. 

As the film wraps up, and the magic seems to be over, my jitters kick in as usual. Its the same process that has been continuos this whole week. Louis tucks me in after that final stab, and the lads kiss me good night, but Harry stays behind because its his turn to sleep in here with me. He turns out the lamp and pulls me in towards his chest, wrapping his arms tight around my figure. “Good night sweetie, I love you.” He whispers in my ear as he kisses my temple. “I love you too Daddy.” I whisper back as I look up to him I can see the sparkle in his ember eyes by my words. His grin unhide-able, his pride beaming, his grip tightening. “Sweet dreams baby girl.” Echoes in my head as I fall into a dreamless sleep. No nightmares, no midnight crying, just rest. A thing I haven’t had in a long time. 

The next morning I wake up to five hushed voices talking over me. “She called you daddy?” One asked with a rather Irish ascent. “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it, it was like, it was like she had no shield up. She was laying it all down on the line, opening up in a simple but liberating way. The hope in her eyes just made my heart melt, honestly it was the cutest thing I have ever seen, but it did make me feel the pressure. The pressure to not disappoint her on this, it isn’t even an option.” Harry’s husky voice responded with pride. I figured it was about time for me to make my appearance, so I let my eyes flicker open only to be under inspection by my guardians. “Morning beautiful” Zayn says as I lean into Harry lazily while he grips around my waist. “Morning” I mumble still trying to fully wake. “Dr. Montgomery will be here in about an hour hopefully to give you the good to go, so you won’t have stuck in this bed forever.” Louis says with an encouraging  grin, knowing that the thought of Dr. Montgomery makes me quiver. As usual, I nod in response, perhaps from force of habit, or the lack of kind words to describe my feelings towards that creep around me in our house.