Chapter 19:
He wants me... He want to ruin me, to take me back where I belong, to slater my chances of happiness. My mind runs with petrifying thoughts, going at a speed too fast for me control. I can feel the walls of fear closing in on me, trapping me in this hell hole that I truly believed I had a chance of getting out of.
"Madison, come Maddie, you have to look me. Snap out of it. Everything is going to be okay." I can hear a voice summoning in my ear, but I can't distinguish who's voice that belongs to. I try to navigate my way out of my own thoughts, but I'm too lost. I'm just too lost to be saved. Maybe that has always been my problem, maybe thats way I can never trust as much as I naturally should. I'm just lost. I should give up, I should give up the idea of having this normal life. This normal life that is in those stupid Disney movies, where everything turns out okay. That doesn't happen. Maybe it happens for some people, but not me.
I lose all care, all concern. I simply let myself be. In this moment, anything could happen and I would remain numb. Numb is a good state to be in. If only I could be numb all the time, if only I could get myself to let go. But for some reason, there is always something in me that holds on, holds on to tight.
Harry's POV:
What have I done? How could I have been so stupid? Maddie, of all people, should not have seen that. What was I supposed to do instead? I honestly don't know, but it shouldn't have been violent. When I saw the video, I was so angry. Angry at Madison, we have told her so many times that she is not allowed to hurt herself. Granted, this was many years ago, but I'm just so enraged that even then she didn't understand how special she is. I can't pinpoint exactly what made me snap, but I shouldn't have targeted my daughter. I know, I know, it most likely sounds utterly mad that I could get so angry at someone with such a complicated situation, but I just can't help my protective nature towards her. Unfortunately, my intentions did not work in my favor. Sometimes its so frustrating trying to work with her, its like I take one step forward and in the same day I go two steps back. I just don't know how to break through to her, its almost impossible.
Niall looks over his shoulder and sends me the most evil glare that he can possibly form. Maddie just sitting there, not responding to anything. Like she can't hear the lads, like she is by herself in some alternate universe. I'm about to make my way closer to her, to attempt to mend things. Before I have the chance, Maddie stands up off Louis' lap as if nothing happened. "Can we just go home please?" Her voice steady and calm, her face relaxed and disguised. Us lads are taken back, I guess we were expecting more tears. Maddie must be too tired for a show. That poor girl must be exhausted, watching her upset is tiring enough. She just needs a damn break.
The lads get up, all ready to get her out of this mess. Zayn softly yet sternly puts his arm around her small shoulders, "We aren't done talking about this, understood?" Maddie nods her head in fear, but also with a hint of confidence. I can see it in her eyes, so can the boys. She's done being the victim. She's ready for whatever is coming. Zayn guides her out, back into the crowd of screaming girls. Maddie shakes from the madness, but she doesn't tremble. She is pushing to be strong, pushing hard. One girl reaches out and tries to grab Maddie's hair, as if on Que.., Niall is right beside her closing her off from the obsessed fan. I can see Niall whisper something in her ear, but Maddie doesn't react. Instead she reaches for Niall's hand, not in search of desperate comfort but in search of support and remote protection.
The distance between us and the car seems endless, the screams seem more like roars, and the curiosity of Madison's dad is a hunger. After what feels like eternity, we reach the car and Maddie jumps in eagerly to avoid the noise. She takes deep breaths, looking at her feet, trying desperately to prove to herself and us that she is in control of her body. No one says anything, the silence comforting. Within minutes Maddie's breath is back to normal and Louis drives us back to our house, out of this madness. If only we were escaping the madness entirely, I know full well a storm is brewing. We have only seen showers, no we are about to witness a hurricane. I'm unsure of what lies ahead of us, what our family will be faced with, but I know that I am not leaving my daughter's side. The lads and I have never experienced the pain our daughter has, only she knows what could possibly be ahead, but Madison is done being hurt. She is strong, her gentle strength is astounding. All we have to do, is to be ready to catch her if she falls, more like if she is pushed down.
I notice Louis constantly checking his rear view mirror to keep an eye on Maddie, we all sneak glances to see how she is reacting. I know she is scared, but she is forcefully pushing it aside. I have a lot of damage control to attend to. I know without a doubt she will be hesitant towards me or completely closed off. Madison's eyes continue to flicker towards the handle of the door next to her. Liam notices and against her will, he unbuckles her seat belt and his own, sets her in his lap for a brief second, then moves over to Maddie's previous seat, and sets her down in between Liam and I. Trapping her. She gives out the slightest huff, almost inaudible, and fixes her gaze on her feet. Nows my chance...
"Maddie..." I say as I clear my throat, suddenly tight in fear of the uncertainty of her reaction. She doesn't look up but as instinct she grabs her forearm in fear, responding quietly, "Yes?" All the lads are obviously tuned into my so far- pathetic apology. Even Liam, who also has an apology to Maddie for scaring her so much. "Listen sweetheart, I didn't mean to hurt you, it was the last thing I meant to do. I think, I think I was just so angry and so confused I didn't even realize I was hurting you. Which is no excuse, none whatsoever because I promised you. I promised you I would never hurt you, and I hate myself for breaking that promise. But you know, deep down, that I love you. And that won't change, and from now on I will never ever let my anger be taken out on you." I say knowing that there truly is no way to make it up to her. I did what everyone else in her life has done to her, I lied. I've lied twice to her. Why can't I just get things right? Maddie closes her eyes as a heavy sigh escapes her lips. "You know its not the worst that happened to me, by any means," Her voice a bit sarcastic but not disrespectful, "But it hurts most when you believe in the person. When you trust them, thats all." She says quietly, like she'll regret it as soon as it leaves her mouth. Always so careful with what she says, as if we will punish her for saying the wrong thing. The opposite of what we truly want, we just want her to be able to be herself. To not be so afraid to speak her mind. As if I wasn't filled with guilt already, more poured into my system. "I'm sorry, I am truly sorry I hurt you," My voice is weak from the lack of words, the lack of words that can fix this. "I can't say enough 'Sorry's' and 'I love yous' to make it up to you. But know that I mean it, and I am here for you. And know that whatever is going through your head about your dad, be sure that we are going to take care of it. Your dads are going to keep you safe." Maddie looks up slowly, her eyes glossy with pain and strength I cannot describe. I would have missed the slight nod she sends me, if I hadn't been so wrapped up in her beauty. That nod, giving me the hope that we can get pass this. Over time, I just can't push her, I must be patient.
Maddie returns to gazing her feet, as I carefully take her hand. The arm with the horrible inprint I made. She flinches, but as I slip my fingers through her tiny ones, she relaxes a bit. Just as the car ride seemed calming and as a family we felt prepared and confident, nothing could have prepared us for what was in store.
As soon as we walk in the door of our home, panic arises.
Someone broke in.
Our house is a disaster. Chairs flipped over, pictures on the floor, a window with shattered glass, the remains of our safe home destroyed. Due to instinct, Niall grabs Maddie and puts her on his hip. All of us frozen at the door, frightened out of our minds. Louis immediately fumbles for his phone and calls 911. Maddie is trembling, like she can feel that whoever broke in, hasn't left. "We need to get back in the car, now!" She says shaking. We all began to rush towards the car without a care until Maddie stops us, "Never turn your back, not this close to the crime!" She says loud enough for us all to hear. Going backwards we run to car, Niall gripping Maddie for dear life. We scramble in the car and lock the doors as soon as the door slams shut. "He's here..." My daughter whispers. "He's ready..." The tears behind her eyes are out of her control, this is the man who ruined her life. How could she not be terrified. "Get Maddie in the middle." Zayn orders as Niall gently passes her into Liam's arms. Zayn didn't mean the middle seat, he mean the space between the back row and the very back row. This way she is closer to the ground, shorter than the windows incase he tries to shoot. So many things happening at once. Louis shouting into the phone talking to 911, Liam holding Maddie so tight while trying to hush her cries, and Niall Zayn and I scrambling to figure out what to do. Maddie is a wreck, her confidence pushed aside in the face of her monstrous father. Liam turns Maddie around, so she is facing him with her legs wrapped around his waste, her face hidden in the crook of his neck, his arms draping her body in the pursuit to comfort. "Its okay Maddie, he's not going to hurt you. The police are on their way, they're going to take him away. Everything will be alright." He whispers in her hair, her thoughts in a place we cannot reach. The fear to much for her to comprehend. "Liam," Zayn whispers desperately, "Her heart..."
Her breaths are all over the place, so unsteady its scares us. Liam pulls Maddie away from his chest and his eyes almost bulge out of his head from the sight of our desperate daughter. "The cops will be here any second! I'll keep a look out in case we need to drive off!" Louis shouts scared of the possibilities. So much happening at once. The fear of him shooting us, the fear of Maddie's condition, the fear that we won't be able to get through to her, the fear of the cops not coming in time. I don't know what to do, except help Maddie. Liam wraps his arms around Maddie's back and keeps her close yet far enough to look her in the eye. She is coughing, gasping, leaning in every direction, crying, whimpering, expressing every way of fear and pain. Niall rubs her back cautiously, as Liam and Zayn try to talk her through it. Its like she can't hear us, like she can't feel us. She is lost in some other place. Alone. Louis screams from the drivers seat desperate to know how she is doing. Our lack of response is the most terrifying answer. "Maddie, come back to us baby girl. You have to calm down, I know your scared. I know honey but I promise your safe. Please Maddie, please calm down. Breathe deep breaths, you can do this. I know you can, we're right here baby." Liam, Zayn, and I's words all over the place, frantic to get her back. A chorus of coos while we watch Maddie, she looks like she dying. I can't handle it. I'm going to lose it, I can't lose her. I am a mess. I don't know how to calm her down. There has to be something that calms her down. My head fills with memories of comforting Madison, mostly words and affection. That just isn't working. Then it hits me, singing. She calms down best when we sing to her. "We have to sing to her!" I shout, "Now!" The boys don't hesitate and we all begin,
"They don't know about the things we do,
They don't know about the I love you's
But I bet you, if they only knew
They would just be jealous of us"
Maddie starts to respond just a bit, she looks at us lazily but presently.
"They don't know about the up all nights
They don't know I've waited all my life,
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don't know about us"
She is still gasping and coughing, but she leans into Liam and lets him rock her back and forth. Letting her exhaustion calm her down.
"They don't know how special you are,
They don't know what you've done to my heart
They can say anything they want,
Cause they don't know about us."
Slowly she starts to breathe more in- control. Still unsteady and hiccup like, but progress. Liam keeps her as close to him as possible. Knowing full well that this isn't over yet, knowing at anything time she could go back to that state. Within seconds the sound of sirens fill the air, causing Maddie to tense even more. "Don't worry love, its just the cops." Liam says then realizing that the cops are not something Maddie views in a positive way. All her life the cops have never really helped her, only pretended to. She squirms a bit as Louis rolls down his window to talk to the cops. We listen to Louis explain everything as Maddie pulls herself away from Liam and creeps her head up to look out the window. Her eyes widen as a scream makes her way out of her mouth, "HE'S ESCAPING!" She shouts and in that moment I hear the scariest sound known to man. A gun shot. Liam ducks Maddie's head into the safety of his chest as we all duck down protecting our selfs from the shattered glass. I can hear Maddie's cries as we all shout in fear a bit ourselves, I hear the cops run after him and scream for him to freeze. I hear more gun shots, between him and the cop. I hear Maddie talk to herself over the sound of the gun shot, "Daddy is not going to do it again, he won't. He won't kill anyone, it would have been me. He won't. He won't." Her voice muffled by Liam's shirt as he just wraps his arms even tighter around her. Louis quickly jumps over the drivers seat to be back with us, scared out of his mind. No one knowing what to do. More sirens approach as backup is on the way. Our family is huddled together, terrified of what awaits for us outside of this car.
Within minutes someone knocks on the window causing Maddie to shriek and tense up. "Don't be scared, my name is officer Cunningham. Its safe to come out now." Everyone is hesitant to move until Maddie weakly whispers, "Thats not his voice." Slowly Louis looks up and sees that it really is a cop, not our daughter's birth father, and he unlocks the door and gets out. It takes a minute to get Maddie to let go of Liam, but soon she lets me pick her up so both she and Liam can get out of the car. I give her back to him, knowing that I am still not in her graces, and in a time like this she needs to be with someone she fully trusts. God it kills me to think she doesn't completely trust me, I hate this.
Looking around, nothing seems pure. Our house has been violated, our car, our sanity. It feels like we have been robbed of our safety, our peace. He got away. The cop ran after him, and after that whole shooting neither of them were hurt, but he got away. Officer Cunningham said they have they're full squad after him, and they are sure they will find him. After all he couldn't have gotten far, but Maddie doesn't seem convinced by the officer's confidence. The cops ask us all questions, except we do our best to keep Maddie out of it. She's to fragile at the moment to be questioned by the authority. "Do you all want to walk through the house, see what he took and how much?" Officer Cunningham asks. "Yeah, but I think Maddie should stay out here, I don't think she needs to see this." Zayn says as Maddie's head jerks up. She gulps hard, trying to push down her fear, "Please, I- I think I know what he was after. I'll be okay, I promise." She pleads to go inside with us, its perfectly logic. This is her father, she knows him best and she knows what he's after. The lads give out a sigh, we really don't want to push our luck with what all she can honestly handle right now. We all exchange our silent fatherly thoughts, Niall gives a nod and its settled. "Okay, but if its to much we're going to bring you back out here. We don't want to risk it." Louis says firmly as Maddie nods with understanding. Liam moves her over from one side of his hip to the other and gives her a gentle kiss on her temple.
Inside our house I can't help but to be so angry. This is our home. And now, I don't know if it can ever feel like home again. We walk through slowly, inspecting everything that could possibly be missing. Officer Cunningham keeps his gun ready, incase someone else is here. Liam keeps Maddie close, constantly looking down to see if she is holding up. It isn't until we reach Maddie's room and the real horror begins. Maddie gasps in disbelief, "Holy shit..." Niall mutters as we step foot in our daughter's room. Maddie tries desperately to get down from Liam's grip, but he holds her tighter. "Hold on to her, I need to do a quick overview of the closet and bathroom, to make sure were alone." Officer Cunningham orders. Louis and Zayn walk over to Maddie and Liam while she squirms to get down. "Madison, hang on. We have to make sure its safe." Louis says trying to get her to stop wiggling. I take a look around her room, it is covered with pictures taped on the walls, thrown on the floor, across her bed, they're everywhere. Theres an old teddy bear seated at the foot of her bed, her journal laid right next to it followed by a stack of disks. I bend down to pick up one of the pictures on the floor. I almost scream from the sight of it. "What is it Harry?" Niall asks coming closer to see, when he does get a look he jumps. "I'm going to kill him!" Niall hisses through closed teeth. Its Madison, chained to a bed, a bed thats on fire. Its a picture of my daughter being burnt. He tried to burn her alive. I can't breathe I'm so in shock. I look around panting noticing that all the pictures, every single one are of Madison being torturched. What kind of psycho would do this to a little girl? What kind of psycho would do this to a little girl and take pictures? Its almost to much for me to bear, I can feel my heart drop into the bit of my stomach. "LADS!" Niall yells in pure anger. They snap their heads towards him, eyes widened from the anger in his voice. "Look what he did!" Niall says bringing the picture over to them, over to Maddie. She takes one look and her face drops. "No, no..no no.." She mutters to herself. She uses all of her strength to push herself out of Liam's grip and drops to the floor. She frantically runs around the room snatching pictures, crumbling them up. Tears running down her face, her secrets surrounding her. "No, no, no.. no!" She continues to mutter to herself as she runs around desperately trying to get all the pictures. There are hundreds in this room. "What did I say?" Officer Cunningham yells loudly at the fact that we let Maddie lose. We all go after Maddie, she won't stop. We have to circle her to get her to snap out of it. Zayn bends down to Maddie's height. "Maddie..." He says softly doing everything in his power to not frighten her. "NO!" Maddie cries, "He can't, he can't do this. You weren't suppose to know. You were never suppose to find out!" Her tears steady and constant, the horrific memories of her past resurfacing fresh. "Maddie, you have to calm down. If you don't you have to go back outside." He takes her trembling hands filled with crumbled papers and releases them to the ground, taking her hands in his softly. His eyes find hers and keep them locked, "We love you, thats not going to change. These pictures don't change that. We can talk about all this later, but right now all you need to know is we love you." And Zayn is right, all she needs to know right now, is our love for her. The rest can wait.
Maddie nods, letting her body relax just the slightest bit. Zayn kissing her forehead and stands up straight, taking Maddie's hand and leading her towards the bed. Maddie's protective nature comes out as she grabs her journal and brings it close to her chest. Her journal is no longer what it use to mean to her. It use to be something so sacred, so beholden. Now we have tampered with it, and her worst nightmare has tampered with it as well. She carefully picks up the teddy bear. "I thought he burned this." She whispers looking at the dirty stuffed animal. "Was that yours?" I ask from the other side of her. She flinches a bit from the sound of my voice, but responds anyway. "Yes, my mum gave him to me when I was born. He was, he was kinda like my best friend until he got a hold of him. He took him away from me, said he was going to destroy him. I was never allowed anything that made me happy." She says tossing the bear back on the bed. The memories of her father must be too connected with that bear, too painful. Liam picks up the stack of disks before Maddie can, she panics. "No, you can't look at those. They- they uh." Her eyes search the room for a lie, but the room is covered with to many painful memories for her to think so fast on her feet. "Maddie, what are these? Don't lie, we'll find out anyway." Niall warns as softly as possible. Maddie sighs as defeat covers her face, she leans into Zayn utterly exhausted. "I'm not entirely sure, but I think, I think those are videos of me." She says so quietly I almost couldn't hear her. "I think he got the pictures from those videos..." She says trying to hint but not say it out loud. I can't help but choke with disbelief. Her father is one sick, evil human being. Zayn wraps his arms around Maddie, as he tries to comprehend this madness. Officer Cunningham seems to be in just as much disbelief trying to understand how our daughter is still alive, and how they could have possibly let this sick man go.
No one knows what to do, everyone in shock. Even Maddie. She rubs her eyes in stress and exhaustion, embarrassment covering her face. Officer Cunningham regains himself and clears his throat to break through our trances. "I think it would be best if you all go some of your things and stayed in a hotel room until we solve this case." We nod ours heads in agreement, knowing full well that none of us could stand much more time in this house. Officer Cunningham approaches Maddie slowly and cautiously, he bends down to her height. "You know, I have a daughter about your age. And if anyone ever tried to hurt her, I would probably do some things that I would soon regret. Don't worry Madison, we're going to find him." He says sincerely and simply. Maddie nods, appreciative of his kindness, but I also know she doesn't naturally trusts.
Two different cop cars take us all to the hotel we will be staying in. Being in a boy band does help when booking hotel rooms on such short notice. Madison is jittery throughout the whole car ride and checking into the hotel. She inspects everyone like they are all apart of something. She jumps when one of us try to touch her before she calms down. I don't blame her one bit, the things that she has had to face within the past six hours blow my mind. We get in the presidential suit, and Maddie races around checking everywhere, she won't stop until she knows its safe. None of us try to stop her because we know this is something we have to let her do. This will put her mind at rest. Once Maddie as given herself the clear, she lets Niall take her over to what will be her room, while she gets ready for bed. Her exhaustion twice as evident as ours. Liam immeaditly orders room service for dinner. Again, being in a boy band has its advantages because room service shows up almost instantly for us. We all get ready for bed and meet back in Maddie's room.
Niall already has her in her pjs, under the covers, and with our dinners waiting on the cart next to her bed. Louis climbs under the covers next to Maddie pulling her close to him. "Mads, I know this has been a really really ruff day, but we thought maybe we could watch 'The Little Mermaid' before you go to sleep." Maddie would usually brighten up completely at the thought of watching her favorite movie, but today is obviously an exception. She simply shrugs as she pulls the covers closer to her chin. "Well I'm dying to watch it again!" Liam says trying to lighten things up while he puts the disk we brought with us in. We all pile in Maddie's bed, me of course on the outside. As much as it kills me, I can't afford scaring Maddie more than she already is. Niall passes out everyone's food, more like comfort food, and we all watch Maddie's favorite movie.
Like always, Maddie can't help but fall in a trance while watching Arial. She mouths the words to all the songs, and her posture melts into the covers, fully relaxed. Louis and Niall still have to encourage her to eat, but they cut her a little slack on how much she must consume. Well before the film ends, Maddie is fast asleep on Niall's chest. Carefully, we all peal ourselves away from the bed and leave sweet Maddie with Niall. I take one last look at my precious baby before I softly close her door.
The lads and I talk another two hours before any of us could sleep. Maddie isn't safe here, we can't risk him finding her. He doesn't have to try to hard to find her because every where we go and everything we do is all over the internet. The lads and I brainstorm on how we can run him out. The cops are doing everything they can, but this man is something different then a criminal. He is obviously mentally unstable, and obsessed with harming our daughter. He won't rest until he finds her, and kills her. I will never let that happen. We decide we have to go somewhere, we have to get out of London for a while. Thankfully, we have the means to go to any measures needed and can go where ever. It doesn't matter where we go, people will find us. But we can move from place to place easily. This guy doesn't have to financial means to travel all around the world looking for Madison. This way the police will also have time, they will have time to track him down. We go to bed with fear, but also with hope. But more importantly, we sleep with the determination to protect our daughter. In the morning we will tell Maddie.
In the morning we will tell her we're taking her some where safe, where she can distract herself with fun. A place where we can be her dads, be a family. Somewhere magical that will make memories and let fear creep away. In the morning, we will tell her we are going to Disney World.
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Adopted By One Direction
Fanfiction13 years old. Lonely. Abused. Terrified. Little Madison has never known what it feels like to have someone love her. Abused by her 'family' she has learned to shut people out, never trust, seeing as though everything is a trick to hurt her. Sexually...