Having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed or made angry.
"Can everyone just calm down for a second?"
She was growing tired of everyone constantly bugging her; she just wanted ten minutes of uninterrupted silence, that's all she was asking for. The nagging, the constant pity, and the questioning had all become too much for her to handle. She knew that the thought of him was her own personal life vest, but then he vanished, and the life vest deflated, leaving her stranded in the ocean surrounded by all of the sharks in the real world. And as hard as they tried, which quite frankly wasn't very much, nobody could understand that at all.
"We're just worried about you, that's all."
That one sentence makes everything ten times worse in her mind. It makes her look bad simply due to the fact that the people around her are worried about her. She feels like all that accomplishes is making her feel like not only does she not have a life vest and is slowly sinking, now there's a brick of unwanted pity tied to her ankle that's just making her sink even faster than before. The last thing she wants is to sound ungrateful for the support from the people around her. She's very thankful, but she just doesn't want it, not at this point in time in her life.
The fact that they won't let up and give her some space is what really tips her off of the edge and makes her irritable. She's asked to be left alone, yet they just get closer, she's suffocating from the abundance of heartbeats surrounding her, the beating getting louder as they step closer, the air supply dwindling as the selfishness intensifies. They don't care about her, they just don't want to be blamed for her mistakes when she finally falls off of the deep end. They just want to be able to say that they tried to help her, when all they've done so far is make it worse.
She doesn't want to give up on herself or him for that matter, but she doesn't know if she should text him because maybe that wouldn't be the best idea. She just needs closure, she needs to hear him say to her face that it would've never worked out, even if there is a slim chance that they could work. She needs to know that they're never going to happen so she can finally put the 'what If' that is him behind her. She wants this all to be put in the past and left there. She doesn't want to have to think anymore.
"I just want to be left alone. I want ten simple minutes all to myself for once. I need time to think."
Nobody understands that her mind is a mess. She's trying to find time to sort it out and organize everything in her brain. She needs to think or she's going to explode; her mind will deceive her and she'll slowly cave in. It's irritating. The affect he has on her is irritating. He completely ruined her and it hurts to even think about him but she needs to think about him if she wants to be okay again. She needs to be okay again.
"I just want to be okay again. Somebody help me feel okay again."
