song: Migraine by twenty øne piløts
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"Oikawa," you called from the kitchen.
The brunette had been lying on the couch for the last hour, unable to respond to anything you said. Thinking that it was just one of his dramatic moments, you left him be. You even messaged Iwa-chan to make sure nothing bad had happened at practice, but got the typical answer of "practice was good, idk what's wrong with Trashykawa."
"Tooru," you yelled again.
The only response you got was a mumbled "huh?"
"What's wrong? You haven't said anything or even moved since you got home," you noted.
"I feel like my mind is dying," he said. "I just, I don't know (name). I don't know."
"Well, try elaborating," you urged.
"Okay," he started. "So, my head is pounding, but I don't have a headache? I don't want to be nonexistent, but I don't want to be here with this migraine? I just feel useless, like I'm constantly being tested by myself, but not myself, like it's a part of me that isn't me."
Sufficiently confused, you nodded your head, signaling him to continue.
"The shadows follow me, they tell me I'm alone, even though you're right next to me. Even though I'm at the center of the court, surrounded by my team. They won't give up. I can't do it. I can't help but doubt my relationships, because they're so powerful."
"Tooru, you know that I would never leave you. And I mean it. Never," you promised.
"But it's more than that. I'm not good enough. I'm fighting a losing battle within my own head. I want to scream, I want to let it all out. But I can't? It doesn't show in my face, and my throat won't utter the words that I so wish to make vocal."
"You've made it this far," you whispered in his ear, pushing a few stray hairs out of his beautiful face. "I believe in you."
"But I'm not as fine as I seem, and no one notices. It's as if I'm Pandora's Box. Holding these violent thoughts, but so pretty and enticing on the outside."
You wrapped your arms around him, not intending to let go soon.
"Make it go away," he pleaded.
"Tooru, you can do it. You're not alone, you're not useless, and we all believe in you. I promise you all of that, so calm down."
He wrapped his arms around you now, pulling you close and silently crying into your shoulder, slightly dampening your cotton shirt.
"I won't let go anytime soon," you promised him.
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