A Daughter's Pain

Why?

Things have gotten worse

Things got better, they were great actually. You were clean. You happy and healthy. Your kids were happy and healthy for the most part. I understand that you were stressed. We all were.
But how can you bring that demon back into your life. How could you ruin what progress you had made? Every druggie relapses, I get that. But this is already how many times? You saw how bad it hurt me when I was younger because I wasn't allowed to go over. Now I don't even want to see you. Can. You imagine how your children that do live with you feel? You baby, your 7 year old daughter is going to grow up thinking that being all tweaked out is normal, look at her dad and his family. They are dumb crack heads who have nothing better to do than hit women and smoke crack. Do you really want that for your little girl?
As for your little boy, granted he's not little anymore, he still hasn't matured enough to realize what's going on. He is 12 almost 13 years old and your going to sit here and keep him clueless about why his mom is the way she is, which is super different than how she was, wondering why he has to go outside with you anytime you go outside, and last but not least, who his biological father is. He has the right to know. If I had the unfortunate "privilege" of knowing, why doesn't he? He has asked me a couple times and I just told him I didn't know, because I feel like it should be his mother who tells him. He gets made fun of at school because he doesn't know who his dad is. What the hell is that? How can he even begin to defend himself?  Next time he asks I'm not going to lie anymore. I'm going to tell him. I don't care what you have to say, that's your son and I've been more of a mother than you ever have been and probably ever will be.
I want what's best for my little brother and sister, and if that means calling CPS myself and having them take them from you...I will. And you question me, asking me why I'm doing this, my answer is going to be: so you can go through the same kind of pain that you're putting us through. I love you because your mom but now it's only because I have you to thank for bringing me into this world. But as of right now, you are dead to me  I have no biological mother in my life. Not anymore anyway..