Illy.paris (bxb )trans)

Lifeless..

It was 4:00 in the morning an I couldn't sleep.

Babe I mumbled ...

He grumbled and placed his hand on my mouth.

"I licked his hand " and giggled as he mushed my face after realizing what I did.

"Childish ass " he mumbled.

"You love it though" I say cockily.

Yeah yeah I know but why u wake me up like I don't got work.

Cause I can't sleep.

Drink some night Quille then.

"Eww " I scrunch up my face.

He chuckled " I imagined the face u made ".

Anyways babe ...

What's up pooh?

Can u believe how fast things are going in less then 3 months I'll be graduating and we will be living together permanently.

I know shit is crazy but I'm pumped.

Your only pumped cause u don't gotta wake up so early to drive to work.

Man I can't wait to move into our loft in Houston and come home to u cooking butt naked.

Ugh you so aggy oh horny ass dog.

You don't be complaining when you sitting on my face. " he scoffs"

You know what it's to early for this.

Oh come here big baby. " he pulls me into his chest"

Lol move ur beard is smothering me.

U know it's sexy though. "rubs chin like Stevie j"

So it still smothers me but anyways I'm bout to go walk the dogs.

Hell no it's still dark out and I don't want a repeat of what happened.

The room grew quite ....

"Flashback"

I stormed out of the house T pissed me off always trying to be so controlling like he was my dad.

It was like 1 at night and I just needed some space because I hated when we got into fights.

I headed towards the pool they had at the apartments.

I hopped over the fence they had surrounding it.

I loved it cause it was like a little beach the sand descended into the water like at the beach.

I was so lost into thought at what just went down at the house.

I didn't hear someone creep up behind me.

All I could remember was being pushed into the water.

I was being pushed down under the water gasping for air.

I tried screaming for help but just water being gulped in hushed my cries.

You stupid transgendered fags pretending to be women I heard the voice yell as the figure pushed me down.

I eventually pass out.

" I looked down at my body laying lifeless in the pool " it's like my soul left my body as I looked at it floating".

"Flashback over"

I got up and went to the bathroom crashing down to the floor I hated the picture that flashed in my head when I thought of that night.

Man T had to be strong for me an I know it was hard for him cause he couldn't be depressed at the time he had to be strong for me.

He didn't leave me not longer then 15 min when I was In the hospital to shower use the restroom or eat.

I fell in and out of a coma when I was there.

It really tore him up emotionally.

He barely let's me go anywhere alone now or stay home unless one of the guys are here.

But I refuse to live in fear over this.

I get up and walk back into the bedroom and sit on his lap.

He leans up and buries his face into my chest. He sobs and I just hold him. I comfort him like he did for me.

We occasionally have this moment since the whole incident.

I lowkey got emotional writing this. But anyways I think my writers block is fading away 😌.