She Who Saved Me.

First Day Back

I crawled into bed that night scared for my life. Everything was okay now but what would it be like tomorrow? What would Eli do to me? I hadn't heard one word from him since he gave my phone back. Was that good? Or bad? I looked around my room searching for hope.

The bright blue walls you could barely see behind all the posters seemed to belong to someone else. Did I really like Twilight? Or was I obsessed with Harry Potter? It seemed like forever ago when all that was important. When I had time to drool over a hideous vampire, and get excited over Lord Voldemort. My closet doors were a darker shade of blue that matched the trim all around my room. In contrast the only furniture beside my bed in the room was my dresser and it was a dark purple and lime green. Besides the boring book shelf from Wal Mart that was filled with teenage dramas. I wasn't especially in love with those colors but I needed something different at the time.

I spent all summer painting that dresser just because I wanted it. That was the summer before I met Eli. After him nothing else mattered. Even those first few months I wasn't all that in love with him weird right? I was merely in love with the idea of being in love. Everyone has been there a time or two. But if I hadn't been so stupid and naive I would of gotten away before he could take over my life.

I thought back to leaving him that day. It still didn't click in my mind that after all that time I had found the strength to do it. Jamie, hadn't left my mind since I ran into her but I knew nothing about her so what was there to thinking about?

I sighed thinking to myself there was plenty. Like the way her nose scrunched when she glared at me as I lied. Or the blue of her eyes sparkling in the sun. Or her lips as she spoke to me. Weird that even though I was running away from danger I felt totally safe as I talked to her. I had never thought about my other friends in that way but maybe because they weren't real friends.

I curled up with an old teddy bear my dad had once bought for me and fell asleep.

I woke up to the blaring of some high pitched music. Oh yeah it was Maroon 5's Moves Like Jagger. It wasn't a good sleep though, it was a tiring sleep. As oxymornonic as that sounds it was true. I tossed and turned so much I woke up much more exhausted then I went to sleep. On the upside I hadn't dreamt.

Then my stomach began to churn. I had to see Eli. I had to face him in front of everyone. I ran to the bathroom and threw up what ever my stomach could find to get rid of. I sighed and sat beside the toilet. But only for a moment before getting up and cleaning the bathroom and myself up.

I walked into my room to grab some of my new clothes for the day. I grabbed some jean capris and a purple v neck covered in sequins. I slipped in them and headed back to get ready. I threw my hair up in a messy bun and then did my make up elaborately. I always felt if you lacked in one you have to make up for it in the other. Looking in the mirror I seemed exactly the same. Like no one at school would notice that I was no longer an abuse victim or just Eli's girlfriend.

I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs.

"Hey honey ready for this?" Mom asked. She looked at me in one of those Mom trances where you know they are seeing you at your actual age for the first time.

I nodded and my stomach dropped to my feet. I wasn't ready as all. What would Eli do when he saw me? I walked out and sat down in my car. Slowly I threw all my stuff in the passenger seat and stared ahead.

Closing my eyes I leaned my head back. It would be okay, he can't hurt my I kept telling myself. The words didn't seem to make the statement true though.

I put the key in and drove to school. I was preparing mentally for the shock and awe that we had split. My whole schedule revolved around him. Waiting for him before going to lunch or walking together during classes. School had always been my safe place because there he was the prince charming I wished he could be. But not today, he could be my biggest fear and worst nightmare.