Chapter Three: Knives, Blood and Mothers Love

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Chapter Three- Knives, Blood and Mothers Love

Raven

My mum swims in and out of focus in front of me. I can hear her voice washing over me, unable to comprehend. Shakily, I get to my feet and struggle to the bathroom, her nonsense words pounding in my ears every step I take.

I cling onto the basin for support after shutting and locking the bathroom door. Keeping the monster away. I heave into the sink, my back aching at every move, before wiping a sleeve across my mouth. The sound of mum banging on the bathroom door drums into my temples.

Once I've gained enough confidence, I look up into the mirror and stare at the girl I no longer recognise as me. Blood and tears stain my cheeks and shards of glass are lodged deep into my head. I pull some out, wincing at the pain. Blood gushes down the sides of my face, I try to wash it away but the blood just keeps on coming.

Mum's screaming and pounding at the door finally comes to an end. I take a cautious step towards the door, straining my ears to listen into the silence. I can just about hear her crying. Only just, so I could be wrong.

Who am I fooling? I know i'm right. Mum's shaky breath escapes between her sobbing. My heart is telling me to go out there and give her a hug, find out what the cause of all of this irrational behaviour is. My head is telling me not to.

My right hand trembles as I reach forward to grasp the door handle. I'm doing this for all the times she's held me in her arms and told me everything is going to be alright. I'm doing this for my mum. My left hand fumbles with the lock and I'm bracing myself, ready to open the door and

"Mum?" I gasp horrified, running towards her. She's curled up in a ball on the carpet, her blonde hair a tattered mess. I look down at mums shaking body, unsure of what to do next.

"Mum, what's wrong?" I ask as gently as I can. After a big debate in my head, I sit beside her and run my fingers through her hair. Her eyes are tightly closed and her chin rests against her knees.

I try again, taking a deep breath. "Mum, what's wrong?"

"What?" Her retort both confuses and scares me. Her eyes open and lock onto mine.

"Um, I just wanted to know w-why you're upset and..." I suddenly loose the ability to speak. My eyes dart around the room as though I'll find an explanation to why my mum's lying on the hallway floor like a, well.. Like a wreck.

My mum's a wreck. How had I not noticed? Her sleek and shiny blonde hair now just a dull and tatty mess. Her intense blue eyes seem to be nothing more than a light shade of grey. Not to mention the way her shoulder bones protrude, she doesn't look 'model-thin' anymore, she looks anorexic.

"Why do you bother with me? Why do you care?" Mum demands, lifting her head up from the carpet.

I don't understand. What does she mean 'why do I bother' with her? She's my mother- I love her."I, w-what do you-"

"Why do you live with me? Why don't you move out? Why don't you rent out a flat and get as far away from me as possible? That's what you'd like to do." Her eyes stay focused on mine, narrowing a little at the end of each question as though to prove a point.

"I'm seventeen, I go to school, I have a home. I don't understand what you're going on about." I almost plead with her to return to sanity. I want her to become the mother I've loved for so many years once more.

"I knew it! You're only here because of your education. Your dad left because of that Rachel and here I am, left used and unwanted." Mum pauses to laugh in between sentences in an almost menacing way. I don't know why but it makes me feel very uneasy.

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