scars - a jay mcguiness fanfiction

chapter 3 - help is needed

I sat there in pain, examining my body, touching the bruises he'd left. I felt a lonely tear fall down my face. Lonely, just like I was. Because that's just what my life was now wasn't it...no mother - she doesn't want to know me, no father, no brother - did well at school and got a job and is now married and my sister. Well I don't even know what happened to her. and to top it all off, I now have no boyfriend. and to add to that, he just had sex with me and now im confused and have no idea how im feeling. just numb, no pain and no pleasure. 

I picked up my ripped dress and placed it over my body, being careful not to knock the places that hurt. I wiped my face with my hands to try and remove the make up that had drained down my face, I hoped it looked alright, but it didn't. I'd just made it worse, but right now that was the least of my worries. 

Walking towards the door that opened out onto the busy club, I took one last look at myself in the window that was reflecting my outline. I looked hideous. I hated myself. I just wish that my life was better maybe I wish for too many good things, but all I want is to actually be happy. Happy is a word I never find myself talking about or even thinking about anymore. My life is like hell, but I've just had to suffer it all. having tom sort of made it better, but even with him i wasnt happy. especially when he used to hut me and stuff. but sometimes he could be really sweet and we'd cuddle and watch movies on a friday night. anyway, i need to stop thinking about it because its not helping anything.

I walked out of the room and out into the club which was busy and full of drunken idiots that bashed into me, making me almost trip. Men whistled at me and laughed, laughing at how awful I looked. I heard people shouting at me things like "how much did he pay you?!" Or "oh you had fun back there ayy!" But they had no clue. No fucking clue what had just happened. All I wanted to do is get out of here as soon as I could. And nothing was going to stop me. I barged through crowds of people, all drunk and shouting. I didn't care I just ran through them until I finally felt the cold air brush against my face as I'd finally made it outside on the cold wet street. I found a small quiet but still cold alley way. I chucked my leather jacket on the floor, using it as a cushion. I slid my battered body down the wall as I hit the floor, making sure to be as gentle as I could with myself. 

I just sat there. Letting the rain fall on my hair, smudging my makeup once again. My dress was ruined and my shoes had broken, I now had nothing. I hugged my knees as I tried to make myself warm with my own body heat but it wasn't really working. I sat there cold and in the dark, with only the light of the street lamp seeping through the cracks in the alley. 

"hello? Sweetheart?" Wow. There was actually someone talking to me! Maybe someone actually did care. I looked up seeing a very tall man, with beautiful blue eyes and a mop of curly hair. "My names jay, I'm not going to hurt you" he gave me such a warm smile, a smile I'd never seen before. "What's your name, love?" He asked. I couldn't help but feel scared again, even though I knew that he probably wouldn't hurt me. "m-my names Sophie.." I stuttered. "Sophie, what a beautiful name" he gave me the warm smile again. He sat down next to me whilst putting his arm around my neck and pulling me into his chest. He smelt so good, he was warm and gentle. "What happened to you then sweetheart?" "I-I don't want to talk about it...but it hurts...my whole body hurts" I started to cry again. I felt his finger, this time a nice soft warm finger brush against my cheek wiping away the tears. "I don't want to be rude, but you look a mess.." I laughed a little "no I know, I'm messed up.." "Ayy don't say that. You didn't deserve what happened to you tonight, it's awful and all I want to do is help you, beautiful" I sat there, still and silent. I didn't really know how to respond to compliments, but all I know is that I had to somehow believe it. "I'm not beautiful, jay." "Oh you are. You are very beautiful, and that smile makes you prettier than a rose on a flower garden." I gave a small smile and looked up at him. "You're so sweet" I smiled again. "No, you just deserve something nice for a change!" He held my hand and looked into my eyes. "Come on, you're coming with me." He stood up, pulling me up too. "No, I couldn't possibly stay with someone like you, you're too nice. You don't want a dirty little creep like me around you." I looked at the floor. I felt his hand lift my chin up. "You're going to come with me and stay at my place. And you can stay there as long as you want and as long as you need. I want to care for you, Sophie" I couldn't get over how nice he was being. Truth is, no one has ever really been nice to me, I'm just used for sex. I suppose I should take him up on the offer because it would mean I'd have a safe place to live for a while, other than sleeping rough on the streets. 

"Well...it would be nice to stay with you, jay.." I said whilst looking up at him. At first I found it hard to look at him because he was so tall, but his attractive blue eyes and hair made it easier. "well we better be going then" he said with a calming smile as he held my hand tighter.