scars - a jay mcguiness fanfiction

Chapter 7

I had to run. I couldn't look at him anymore. The thought of him touching that girl and being with her when he should be with his bandmates makes me feel physically sick. It had been a good few hours after the interview so he must have gone straight from there to meet her. I felt a little betrayed. Even though Jay isn't mine and I've only known him for a day and a half, it still didnt feel right. The fact that he pretended to care about me just to get me into his bed. Seriously sophie, you couldn't get anymore stupid. I should know by now that men dont want me because they care about me, they want me because they just want to get into my pants. And thats the way my life has always been, so why should this time have been different? I knew I shouldnt have done it. I feel so stupid. But jay made me feel so special, he was gentle and really toook care of me last night, thats what I dont understand. The fact that he bothered to give me money to help me buy clothes and to give me food, it doesnt make sense! He didnt even mention another woman when we were talking last night. However he did get a little shifty when we were talking about the fact he cared about me and about him having a love life, but I was too impressed with his eyes and beautiful curls to think anything of it. Well I suppose this was it, me back on the streets again, me going back to prostutution. Great, now i really cant trust anyone. 

I carried on running, slowly running out of energy. My breathing became heavy and all I could hear over that was my name being called. How could he actually show his face to me?! Why does he think I'd want to speak to him, let alone see him! But being the idiot I am, I stopped and waited for him to catch up to me. 

"Sophie wait.." he shouted as he slowly came closer to me. "please, it really isnt what it looked like."

"oh and you expect me to believe that do you?!" I realised I was shouting so i toned it down a bit. "you really expect me to think that you snogging that girls face off wasn't what it looks like?!" I could already feel my make up smudging and my mascara running down my face. I felt like such an idiot, why do I always show my sadness? I wanted to make myself seem not bothered but I couldn't do that. It was the fact he was just staring at me. Just watching me stand there crying and shouting at him. It was like this wasnt the same jay that I knew from last night. He had completely changed. 

"well are you going to say something to me then?" i said as i faced the other way, slowly starting to walk. suddenly I felt his hand grip around my wrist and yanking me towards him. I fell into him but somehow making our lips lock together. It was such a sweet kiss, the rain around us, I'd completely forgotten about what just happened. I cried into the kiss, having mixed emotions. Suddenly the thought of what just happened re entered in my head. Luckily at the same time, Jay pulled away. We just stood there, looking into each others eyes. I wasnt really sure what to do, I was just blown away at the fact of what he'd just done. 

"look im sorry. i know that i lied to you. But shes...shes my girlfriend. I met her to try and break up with her because I know that I'd found someone more special. and that someone is you." I tried to stop the tears from exploding even more out of my eyes but it didnt really work. I hate that when i cry, i cant talk because even more tears flood out of my eyes. But I had to respond to that, dear god i think I love him a little more.

"so y-you're not with her anymore?" 

"no."

"but then why were you snogging her?" I thought they were 'exes' so why would he be snogging her!

"because she asked for one last snog before I left her. babe its me that dumped her, so she still has feelings for me and all she wanted was a snog because she knew that she couldnt have it again."

It seemed believeable, but do I really trust jay? Why didnt he just tell me he had a girlfriend in the first place?

"but jay, why didnt you just tell me you had a girlfriend when we were at yours yesterday? Because I slept with you jay, I shouldn't have done that, especially if you had a girlfriend at the time. So that just means im still the bad guy!"