Street Lights

Chapter 4

"Hey, Sierra right?" Daniel asks me

"Hey, yeah I'm Sierra" I reply with a shaky voice.

"Do you want me to walk you home? We can get to know each other more" he says with a wide smile.

"Err...No thanks, I'll walk home by myself. Nice to meet you though" I manage to reply quickly, dashing out of the door.

"Wait!" He shouts after me "a pretty girl shouldn't be walking home all by herself."

"I'm sorry? I'm more than capable of making my way home by myself, I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and don't need a man for support.  It is normal for me, please do bear in mind that I've been at this rut longer than you. And please don't try those cheap pick-up lines on me." I shout furiously before stomping off, leaving him speechless.

'Are all men the same?' I think whilst walking home in silence followed by the thought 'maybe I was harsh on him'. I feel a pit of guilt in my stomach and wonder what came over me to make me sound so hostile and mean. Maybe he just wanted to be friendly; I need to apologise to him the next time I see him. I walk underneath the streetlights stuck in my trail of thoughts when I hear:

"Well well well, who do we have here?"

I look up quickly and see Robert's face, plastered with a smirk, his eyes staring at me intensely. Behind him are his group of friend's wearing matching black adidas tracksuits with mini bags around their torso; they stare at me like hungry lion's after a bit of meat and my heart starts pounding in my chest. They circle around me so that there's nowhere to run, I prepare myself for the worst and squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that it'll be over soon.

"What are you doing out so late emo? Did you go to one of your lame sessions because of what a pathetic loser you are?" He says emotionlessly, followed by laughter from around the circle. The next thing I know, I'm pushed onto the floor aggressively, my knees scraping the floor causing my tights to rip and my left knee to bleed followed by kicks to the face and ribs whilst I lie on the cold concrete floor, bruised and helpless. Once they are done, Robert spits in my hair and leaves, with the rest of them following behind. I lie on the ground crying until I know that they've all gone, feeling pathetic and useless, and once I've cried out all of my emotions I get up, wincing in pain and walk my way to my house. I open the front door slowly, making sure that nobody is around so I can slowly sneak off into my bedroom, undetected. Once I ensure that the coast is clear I run up the stairs and into my room and close my door. I walk towards my dresser then open the bottom drawer and pull out a blade, I stare at it then pull up my sleeves and slice through my skin, feeling the pleasure that the pain brings to me. The only pleasure I feel is when I cut and feel the cold metal kiss my skin other than the feeling of ease that I feel under the streetlights at night. Then I find a fresh outfit from my wardrobe and head to the shower to wash my hair, I cry in the shower knowing that nobody could hear my voice or see me at my point of weakness. I cry until my eyes are bloodshot red and my throat is sore. I wash my hair and get out, get dressed and head back to my bedroom. By the time I get into bed, my body is too tired and sore from all the beating and crying that I just slowly drift off into a silent slumber. Tomorrow is another day, another day of avoiding people and responsibilities; avoiding people so that they don't ask me how I got all the bruises and a black eye and why I look so depressed. If only they knew about how I live my life in fear of the world? How I live in fear of making friend's or finding love. How I find it so difficult because of how many people have let me down in my life and I can't take it anymore. Until then I sleep and mentally prepare myself for what is to come.

A/N: Hey guys, I'm so sorry for posting after a really long time again. I have no excuses; I'm just lazy and I have a lot of personal issues to take care of but I'm actually genuinely sorry. You have the right to hate my guts. But again, thank you sooo much for taking your time to read this, I love you all so much. Have a good day/afternoon/night. I'm so sorry if you find it triggering, feel free to tell me, I'd appreciate your opinion. What do you think will happen the next day?