Confessions of a Lab Rat

Chapter 30

Gary and Mike escort us outside. My breath hitches in my throat when I see the black car.

The police.

I stop suddenly and Mike's grip on my arm slackens for a split second, but then comes tighter than before.

"Keep walking," he says.

They hand us off to the police officer.

He asks me to give him my hands. I obey and he fastens shiny hand cuffs around my wrists, then lowers me into the backseat next to a fuming Kat.

She still hasn't said a word to me.

The officer and his companion get in the car and begin to drive.

My heart dies a little more with every turn of the wheel.

Where's Beech and Paprika? Are they alright? Are they going to South Dakota without us?

I look out the window up into the sky.

I'm too worn to pray. Maybe Kat was right, maybe He doesn't answer. He didn't answer when Sugar died and Lillian was arrested. He certainly isn't answering me now.

'Pray for me and I'll pray for you,' Lillian had promised.

I wonder what it's like where she is.

Does the sun shine there? Is she locked up like a prisoner? Is she praying for me or has she forgotten us?

The car pulls up into a parking lot and Kat and I are pulled out.

Kat doesn't struggle anymore, just walks with her head hanging.

We're escorted into the Police Department.

The police man holding my arm careens me towards a cell.

I want to ask him not to put me in a cell with Kat, but before I can say a word, he's on his way out.

"Excuse me," I say.

He turns a withering gaze my way.

"Sir," I add and swallow hard. He's looking at me like an eagle sizing up its prey.

"Never mind," I say.

He turns and walks to the other room. He and his companion discuss something in low tones. I can almost discern the words.

Kat is huddled in the corner, eyeballing me so fiercely, I'm scared for my existence.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Ugh," Kat growls. "Sorry for what exactly?"

"For getting us in this mess," I say. "I'm sorry."

"Don't you get it?" She nearly shouts. "This is the end for me. The police will make me call my dad and I'll have to go back, then they'll realize that he can't take care of me and shove me into a foster home!"

"I-I'm sorry..." I say again.

"That's not good enough," Kat shakes her head, but I think I see tears in her eyes.

"I'll go back to hell," I say.

She pulls her head up from in between her knees.

"What do you know about hell?" she asks.

"A lot," I say.

She just rolls her eyes.

A police officer comes in and gestures to Kat.

"Please follow me, Miss," he says, opening the cell door to let her through. They disappear into the other room. I suddenly feel very cold.

Tears begin to come, slowly, then all at once. I hug my knees and let tears run down my face and neck.

"God, where are you?" I cry. "Why did you leave me all alone?"

First Salt, then Lillian, then Sugar, and now even Beech is gone. It's just me, lying miserably on this concrete floor.

"Why?" I ask again.

"That's quite the ruckus you're making," a voice nearly scares me out of my skin.

I stand up and look around. There's nobody.

"Up here," the voice says.

I look up. There's a small girl sitting in the window sill. Her dark skin blends in with the shadows.

"What are you crying like a baby for?" she asks.

I quickly wipe the tears from my face.

"I'm alone," I say.

"No you're not," she scoffs. "I'm right here, stupid."

"I'm not stupid," I argue.

"Yeah you are," she says.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are," she crosses her arms and cocks her head. "You're just sitting round here feeling sorry for yourself. Why don't you just pray for a miracle?"

"God doesn't answer," I say.

"Do I need to come over there and smack you?" the little girl asks. Where'd you here that?"

"I realized it," I frown.

"You really are stupid," she laughs. "Don't you know He's always answering you?"

I shake my head.

"Well, you're breathing right now, aren't you?" she asks.

"Um... yeah."

"There we go," she says. "Just pray for a miracle."

Suddenly an idea dawns on me.

"Are you an angel?" I blurt.

"That's a little thing I'd like to call none of you business," she says with a roll of her eyes.

Kat comes from the other room with an officer dogging her footsteps. He beckons to me that its my turn, I look back to the girl on the windowsill, but she's gone.