Confessions of a Lab Rat

Chapter 8

I sit by Sugar's bedside, staring at the machine beside her as it beeps monotonously.

She's sleeping, her breaths coming in raspy little gasps, her eyelids fluttering.

Out of habit, I reach out and squeeze her hand, making sure I'm strong enough.

"Pepper?" She asks, her eyes still closed.

"I didn't mean to wake you," I say, feeling guilty.

"No...don't let me fall asleep," she says. I think she's trying to squeeze my hand, but I'm not sure.

"Sugar, you're exhausted," I protest.

"No...no... Pepper, please. I don't want to miss another second."

"Do you want to do something?" I ask.

"Oh, Pepper," she starts to cry. "I want to do everything. I want to go outside. I want to see people. I want to learn how to read, get a job, fall in love."

Now I'm crying too, because these are things I want to do, too, and I want to do them with Sugar by my side.

"I want to live," she says. She chokes on the last word.

"I'm gonna go get Beech, okay?" I say. "We'll play Monopoly."

"Okay," she says.

When I walk out the door, Beech is standing right there, the Monopoly box in his hands.

I burst into tears.

"Oh, Beech, you are an angel," I sob.

"Pepper, I am not-"

"No, you are. You are sent from God," I say.

"I'm starting to think it's the other way around," he says, but before I can ask him what he means, he pushes past me into Sugar's room.

"Hey there, Sugar Mouse," he says, plastering a smile on his face. "You ready to play?"

She smiles. I help her sit up in her bed while Beech sets up the board.

We sit on Sugar's bed for hours. Beech has a sort of magic in his smile that makes even a dying Sugar laugh out loud.

And I'm thinking that when all of this is gone, I'll remember this day, this moment when we were all together and happy.

Beech cracks a joke and Sugar claps her hands, her face glowing. She sees me watching her and her smile slips a little.

"Pepper, I'm tired," she says.

Beech packs up the game and I kiss her on the forehead, tucking the covers around her so she won't get cold.

"I'll come back in a little," I promise.

Beech and I walk out, closing the door behind us. He turns to look at me.

I'm about to say something, and he leans down and kisses me square on the lips.

I'm taken aback and I step back with surprise.

"Wow," he says. "I've never done that before."

"Same here," I say. I'm kind of excited, but mostly confused. Beech likes me? Does he know I like him?

"Do you- um..." Beech is suddenly someone I don't know. A very vulnerable little boy instead of a tough young man. "Do you want to try again?"

"Sure," I say.

He kisses me again, and this time I'm ready.

"Pepper, you are not at all what you seem," he says, gripping my hands.

"Why do you like me?" I ask.

He laughs.

"At first I didn't know. I really didn't know," he says. "But you're, like, beautiful. Not the boring kind of beautiful, like normal girls. You're really truly beautiful."

That makes me cry. I've done a lot of that lately. But I'm glowing from the top of my bare head to the tips of my toes

I squeeze his hand, the way I would to Sugar.

"I have to check on her again," I say.

"Of course," he says, but he squeezes back.

I duck back into Sugar'a room. Her eyes snap open when she hears me.

She gives me a look.

"You really need to stop kissing boys where I can see you," she says, then laughs.

"Alright now, you go to bed," I say, but I wink at her.