Masks

Masks - Chp 1

Have you ever noticed walking down the hallways of your school that figure you bump into but you can never add a face to? That one stray person that sits at the back of your classroom and you only ever know they exists when the teacher calls the roll or when they are called upon? Or that lonely invisible soul that keeps their head down, eyes averted and a soft tentative speech of words when addressed, and always has a shy blush?

It’s amazing how at the end of the day those loners are instantly labelled as the freaks, the misfits, the emo or even as farfetched as the kid that lives an awful life. It’s funny how no one actually sees them as a real person, with a real and normal life. It seems these days if you aren’t a social butterfly striving for attention even in the most immoral ways possible you’re instantly deemed to have some awful background story.

Well I hate to break the ice, but at the end of the day those people are called gossip central, and those people are full of what I liked to call utter bull shit.

That loner in the back of your class? That person you bump but you just think as a figment of your imagination? That person that you never noticed until graduation day?

That’s me.

I don't have bad experiences at home, at school. I don't live a life of darkness and despair. I live an actually very bright and vibrant life; I live around those I love, my exuberant best friend Kate and my parents. My life is simple, happy and normal. However at the end of the day when I feel eyes on me I keep my head down, I'm naturally shy and I'm adamant to never be the likes of the rest of those in my school who’ll do whatever needed to be to gain the attention and acceptance of those around us.

I believe solely that for those that are worthy, a true friend or even someone that truly love me....I believe they will see me hidden at the back of the classroom and will come sit beside me, I believe they’ll feel and see me when I'm bumped over and stop to help me up. I believe with the helpless romantic within me that when I look at my graduation photos, when I look at my phone I'll see their name. Because to them I'm never invisible.

All I have to be is myself, even if what I am is invisible my prince charming will come, my happily ever after and everything else will still come.

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You could imagine my glee than when Monday morning my day went by fairly well. I mean I didn’t miss the bus (but I did miss breakfast so I didn’t miss the bus), I got a great seat on the bus; right up in the back corner so I could sit quietly at peace with my iPod. Before roll call I found my best friend and only friend Kate in a happy mood, which I must say is a plus; she isn’t a morning person.

There we sat talking, or should I say Kate sat there talking? Kate after all loved to talk, I think that’s why we worked so well, she loved to talk and I just loved to sit and listen. So I just sat and listened like a best friend should do. She recalled in utter excitement the holiday house her family bought; my excitement didn’t mirror hers until she mentioned the history behind the place and also my involvement during the next holidays. After all I was a history junkie, especially if it had a happily ever after tied to the ending of it.

“We are going to have so much fun!” she exclaimed leaving me smiling as I walked into roll call for A to K, year eleven.

First period of English went well as I had hoped; sitting up the back; invisible. Science was the same; invisible.

At recess Kate and I sat in discussion as we recalled last night’s episode of ‘Gossip Girl’. After years of me gushing over Penn Badgely and Kate over Chace Crawford we finally hitched our heavy bags over our shoulders and I headed off to Geography whilst Kate made her way to Science.