An Unforgivable Wish (BoyxBoy)

An Unforgivable Wish 11 (Fin)

Some people think when they hear the words “I love you” that their lives are whole. That everything makes perfect sense. In my case, it just makes me even more confused.

               When I heard Lucas say those words to me, I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Sure I’ve heard everything that people have said to me, hell; I even heard Richard and Kevin kiss. But I was happy where I was, in the state that I’m in.

               I am happy floating in the chasm that is my mind, it’s peaceful here. I’m not expected to do anything; I don’t have to worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. I am my own.

               “Please, Ryder, come back!”

               Ignoring someone like Lucas is like trying to ignore this horrible itch you have, it’s extremely hard.

               “Please.”

               That one word, what would we do if we didn’t have it? What would we do if we had no way to mend the things that we have broken?

               I am broken, but what does it take to fix me?

               “Please give him another day! I know he’ll come back he has too!”

               “I’m sorry, but our funds can’t keep him any longer… since his mother still refuses to pay for the bills… I’m sorry young man.”

               “No, Ryder!”

               My heart stopped, I gave up. As my hearing died, I heard Lucas’s screams one last time.

               ___

               I bet you guys are sobbing right now, you probably thought that that really happened. Except it didn’t, that’s what it would have been like for a normal human being, to unselfishly give up their lives so that they wouldn’t hurt anybody anymore.

               But I’m not, I’m not normal, I’m Ryder Stark and I chose to go the selfish way, the way that most people who are in my position wouldn’t choose. I chose the way that I thought would bring me the most happiness.

               I for once in my life, thought about someone other than myself; I thought about Lucas.

___

               “It’s over isn’t it?” Richard whispered as the doctor left the room. Only three people still remained in the room. Richard, Kevin and Lucas. The other gave up hours ago.

               “I hope not,” Kevin growled, his hand clenching in anger.

               “Well we have to let Stark do what he wants. It doesn’t matter anyways, he only has until the end of the day,” Richard trailed off, staring sadly at the unchanging heart monitor.

               “God, you just don’t know when to shut up do you?” Kevin growled from right next to Richard. “Stark is going to come back, I’ll make him,” the bigger man barred his teeth and stomped his feet.

               “I know, but someone has to be the realist,” Richard sniffed.

               At the smaller man’s tears, Kevin grabbed his hands into his own calloused ones, “Whatever happens, we’ll make it, okay,” Kevin kissed Richard’s forehead, closing his eyes and relishing in the feeling that they were sharing.

               While the two unannounced lovers were having their moment, one lone boy sat; staring at the pale face of his lover. Tears had long ago left him, hope almost eluded him.

               The lone boy sat, unmoving, unthinking, unfeeling. Nothing could bring him back to life but the sarcastic curl of familiar lips that belonged to Stark’s. Nobody could bring him back from the state that he was in, except Stark’s calloused hands.             

               With blank eyes, Lucas stood up from his chair that sat next to Stark’s bed, and walked over to the door, his shoulders slouched; taking in one last breath, breathing in the smell of Stark’s hospital room.

               “Were you just planning on leaving without saying goodbye?” a husky voice came from behind Lucas.

               “I can’t do it anymore,” Lucas whispered, thinking it was Kevin speaking.

               “Hey, if I can be in a coma for god knows how long, then you can come over here and give me a kiss at least before you leave me,” the weak man said with his lips twisted in a sarcastic smile.

               “Ryder…?”

               No one could help Lucas except the boy who had stolen his heart. 

____

Sequel is up! Read it, or not... really don't care:)  There is also an extra, featuring Stark and Lucas so go check it out! :D I might post more of those...