Fanboy||Muke AU

1.3

Michael

Feeling my day old clothes sticking to my clammy skin, I hobble down the street as best I can. It has been a long night, and my sex hair and clothes are noticeable as I do the walk of shame down the street leading to my house. My eyes are puffy and purple ringed from my lack of sleep and my high intake of alcohol, all of my muscles and limbs aching from partying so hard over this past week.

"I'm home!"

No reply.

I look up at the clock on the wall to see its almost midday. My parents are at work and I should be in classes, but instead I'm feeling thoroughly fucked and in desperate need of a shower.

Stripping off my clothes as I walk down the hall, I drop them haphazardly without any care and rub my eyes in tiredness as I drag my sore limbs to the bathroom. I turn on the water, holding my hand under the heavy stream until it's practically scorching my skin so I can wash away the shame my body is coated in.

Standing under the shower head, it soaks my skin and my hair as I begin to clean myself. I feel myself waking up as the water begins to freshen me up, cleaning my body and opening my eyes from the dazed person I've been recently. I need to cut the shit.

I've somehow managed to set myself off into some kind of downward spiral and I'm beginning to hate myself and what I've become. All because of some girl dating the guy I'm infatuated with. A guy I barely know; a guy I will never meet. We all want what we can't have. I'm pathetic.

Stepping out of the shower, I glance in the mirror to see my red hair stuck to my forehead, my dark stubble growing thick and long and in need of a shave, the purple undertones of the skin under my eyes that are blood shot and red and a stark contrast against my grey, lifeless skin. I look terrible.

Groaning at my appearance, I wrap a towel around my waist and leave the steamy confines of the bathroom and walk across into my room. It smells fresh and clean, unlived in due to my unknown whereabouts for the last couple of weeks and my mum no doubt coming into my room and cleaning because it was unoccupied instead of me being a hermit and writing my life away.

I scoff at how pathetic I am. Writing all of the time instead of living my life, or drinking my life away and having sex with random guys instead of doing something worthwhile with my time. Truly pathetic.

Sitting down in my office chair after changing into a pair of joggers and nothing else, I play with my bottom lip between my index finger and thumb and stare off into the unknown. My walls are now bare of band posters. No more 5 seconds of summer, no more Luke. Why did it have such an impact on me? Why did it hurt so much?

I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts, knowing I need to occupy my time with something else and I boot up my computer to play some music. I open iTunes and play Twenty-One Pilots on shuffle, nodding my head to Fairly Local as I browse the internet and avoid certain areas.

I left my phone in my room during my time "away", so it died and I'm now having to wait for it to charge up in order for me to use it. Just as I'm scrolling through pointless pictures and posts on Facebook, it buzzes to life on the other side of my desk and lights up to let me know it's getting some juice.

I ignore it until the buzzing becomes incessant, vibrating against the wooden top to the point where I want to rip it from the wall and throw it through the open window to stop it.

"Fucking hell!"

I pull it up to my eye line, feeling it constantly vibrate in my palms and notifications roll across the screen just begging to be noticed and read. I click on a Twitter one, watching the app open up and load quickly as my mentions hit triple figures.

This is the first time I've used Twitter since I saw the photos of Luke and his new girlfriend circle the internet. A small smile tugs at my lips, seeing the heartfelt messages of worry and concern flood in due to my absence online and my lack of updates.

People are asking me how I've been, when I'm next planning on updating and what has happened to me recently. I don't reply to any, choosing to close the app and ignore their sympathies as I don't want to go into details with them. Tweeting about going off the rails doesn't exactly scream "let's have a fun time."

Clearing my messages, wiping my missed calls and leaving emails to remain unread, I open Wattpad and see the onslaught of notifications and private messages from readers and followers. I only pay attention to the usernames I recognise, and I pay special attention for one in particular.

@lukesgiraffe: hey, long time no speak...how are you? You kind of went MIA...

I still don't know this person's name or gender; I barely know a thing about them, but it warms my heart to know that they thought of me this past week or 2. Even if they didn't respond to any of my messages after our brief interaction regarding my writers block. I'd still like to consider them a friend.

@mukeafsmut: hey, yeah I'm just a bit preoccupied with things right now. How are you?

I chew on my thumb nail as I wait for a reply, the message coming through almost instantly and I can't help but smile.

@lukesgiraffe: what things? Are you ok? And I'm ok, pissed off some people though and it's made me realise how...lonely I am

I frown at the message, worry filling my gut at how this other person is feeling.

@mukeafsmut: I've just been feeling down lately, it hurt and I'm dealing with it. You're not lonely, I'm here if you ever need anything.

I skirt around my topic, not wanting to divulge on how I'm dealing with it – or avoiding it – and try to push my focus onto their problems instead of my own. I'm a good listener, but I'm not a good talker.

@lukesgiraffe: well, I hope you find peace with it soon. You don't deserve to hurt, you're a good person Mike :-) thank you for offering to listen.

I smile at the compliment and at the use of my name making the message seem more personal – almost like we're friends. As I begin to type a response, another message comes through.

@lukesgiraffe: I appreciate you being a friend.

My heart swells at the offer of friendship, the need for a friend that doesn't just offer me alcohol or sex is high for me and I'm thankful this person is here.

@mukeafsmut: likewise, I really need a person like you now :) if you want to talk about it, do so.

@lukesgiraffe: same goes for you

A/N
I love how they're both going through quite shitty times (separately, but together)
This only has 30 chapters in total and we're on 13 😭
Eccedentesiast & Nyctophilia have also been updated, need to work on Jarhead and more Fanboy :)